I think what people are likely seeing in you is the tenacity of self-preservation 4s, which can be an oddly hardy type at times, combined with an openness in expression that is also typically associated with ennea-type 4. You also tend to move away from being labeled, which can look like differentiation. I think though more than expressing and processing your emotional states or painful feelings, you tend to focus a little more on working through things on your own, without the influence of others (or in a way that is attempting to remove the influence of others in favor of being your own authority). I am not attempting to type you though... that's not up to me.
As for your other question, 4s are like the shy kid who sits in the back of the class, quietly observing others, and feeling like they (the 4) are somehow inherently different (in an inferior manner) and left out from the life that others get to live. They actually don't feel "special" at all, and thus they feel that they somehow need to be... need to be "different" in some way so that they can have worth (and particularly love) too. Unfortunately, at average to low health, 4s never really feel "ready" to pursue their dreams (like painting, or becoming a renowned violinist, or writing that book, or even moving to the place that seems more promising). They feel that they need to balance their emotional states before being "fit" to pursue their idealized vision of self, and that's where their fantasy self comes into play. They also feel that they won't be happy until they attain these fantasy milestones.
Therefore, they feel painful emotions quite acutely and tend to be more "scarred" by events or circumstances in their life that point to them being somehow less than, or perceived "failures" that lead them down yet another unfulfilling and painful path. Consequently, their self-story can be rather melancholy, riddled with timestamps of loss, misunderstanding, pain, longing, and hidden wounds. They don't actually want to be considered "special" or superior for their sense of lack... they just want to be seen for this, all of these painful, shameful pieces of them, typically by a romantic partner (all instinctual variants of 4s are drawn to being "found" by a romantic partner), and still accepted and loved for all that they are. They crave having someone come into this painfully separate world of theirs so they can feel the acceptance and love that feels so hard for them to find, and they crave being found "beautiful" despite what they perceive to be scars.
Self-preservation 4s are still like this, but they struggle to communicate it and they feel that they will earn this love by choking back the tears essentially... that someone will see their strength and come to love and accept them, for their strength and hidden sensitivity. They also immerse themselves into their environment or indulgences, almost as a regressed form of romantic satiation (hedonism, luxury/oddity, substances, ambiance, personal belongings, lifestyle, or even adventure, recklessness, or self-sabotage).
That was long and rambly, but I hope it clarifies things a bit for you.