the difference between being shy and being reserved

[prplchknz]

shy is where you're afraid of approaching other people/situations while reserve you don't have a problem doing those things but you don't voice most of what's on your mind not because you're scares (that would also be shyness) but rather you think it's irrelevant

do you agree or disagree with this?

 

[Ene]

I agree. I consider myself reserved but not shy.

 

[greenfairy]

I agree. I consider myself reserved but not shy.

I consider myself more the opposite, but somewhat reserved in that I am hesitant to get involved with people and discussions even when I want to. I have my own things to do, and I'm concerned people won't be interested in what I have to say and will think I'm butting in and stuff.

Edit: That's a good thing about online forums; you can butt in pretty much wherever you want.

 

[baccheion]

Reserved means quiet, as in the person doesn't talk much. Shy means the person is apprehensive and maybe anxious about putting themselves out there and talking to others (afraid of rejection, humiliation, etc). Shy often means the person wants to be more outgoing but fears doing so which results in them being quiet and withdrawn. Once the person overcomes their shyness, they may either become more outgoing, or may remain reserved but without the fear of engaging others.

 

[prplchknz]

Reserved means quiet, as in the person doesn't talk much. Shy means the person is apprehensive and maybe anxious about putting themselves out there and talking to others (afraid of rejection, humiliation, etc). Shy often means the person wants to be more outgoing but fears doing so which results in them being quiet and withdrawn. Once the person overcomes their shyness, they may either become more outgoing, or may remain reserved but without the fear of engaging others.

what I meant but you said it better thanks not sarcastic

 

[Lady_X]

I consider myself more the opposite, but somewhat reserved in that I am hesitant to get involved with people and discussions even when I want to. I have my own things to do, and I'm concerned people won't be interested in what I have to say and will think I'm butting in and stuff.

Edit: That's a good thing about online forums; you can butt in pretty much wherever you want.

haha! that's my favorite thing! people (strangers) don't typically like that irl

 

[Stansmith]

Reserved around strangers, shy around friends.

 

[93JC]

I agree with your assessment, prpl. I myself am often reserved, and sometimes shy. There's a very fine distinction between the two. I sympathize with other people around me who obviously can't tell whether I'm one from the other; after all there's no particular cue to pick up on.

Being reserved has sometimes been misconstrued by others as a lack of interest on my part or even contempt for the people at hand. I often just don't have anything to add. I think it's easier for people to assume you're shy, and that you're just afraid of speaking up rather than having nothing to say.




I wish I could remember a quote I heard, or even the person who told it to me. It's something along the lines of "You know you've found love when the silences between you are comfortable."

 

[danseen]

Agree totally. I am reserved, but never shy. I don't really fear anybody, nor see ANY need to do so.

 

[/DG/]

I'd probably consider myself a little of both. Some days I'm more reserved than shy, while others I'm more shy than reserved.

haha! that's my favorite thing! people (strangers) don't typically like that irl

Yeah, well it gets really awkward. Once a couple of people I know were having a group bitch-fest about a certain person, when a random dude came and sat down in the middle of us. It was just so strange. He had no clue what we were talking about and he just stayed there until we had to leave. I applaud his balls, but it just didn't work out.

 

[Rail Tracer]

shy is where you're afraid of approaching other people/situations while reserve you don't have a problem doing those things but you don't voice most of what's on your mind not because you're scares (that would also be shyness) but rather you think it's irrelevant

do you agree or disagree with this?

Pretty much. A person being reserved doesn't talk much not because he is shy, but because he just doesn't talk much.

A shy person is willing to talk more, but trying to talk/meet with people can be a source of apprehension.

Of course, one can be both reserved AND shy, wherein one doesn't like to talk much, but when one needs to talk, it is a source of apprehension.

 

[cafe]

I'm more shy than reserved, though I can be both. If I'm feeling comfortable around people I'm generally a chatterbox.

 

[Thalassa]

I am not shy. However I don't like to be bothered, and I will even be rude to strangers if they insist on talking at me. However some people interpret it as shyness. But I am not. I will be very open if I feel comfortable and like socializing.

I finally learned that at least in MBTI terms I am an introvert, because people take my energy and I have to be alone to recharge. On the other hand I am extremely expressive in writing, or when I feel like talking. I am an ambivert. I am very quiet until I am not. It's not so much that I am quiet as that I need my own space. Lots of space.

 

[tkae.]

shy is where you're afraid of approaching other people/situations while reserve you don't have a problem doing those things but you don't voice most of what's on your mind not because you're scares (that would also be shyness) but rather you think it's irrelevant

do you agree or disagree with this?

I'd agree with that. I'm both shy and reserved.

My shyness is why I try to avoid you before I meet you. My reservedness is why I look at what you're wearing and steer the conversation away from appearances and fashion.