raz
Let's make this showy!
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2008
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(Sure, some people overdo this by doing always as their friends want, but...)
Those people are called NF's.
(Sure, some people overdo this by doing always as their friends want, but...)
Yes, I think it counts. You are showing that you want to go there because you will make her happy, not because "it makes sense". It's a nice gesture. (Sure, some people overdo this by doing always as their friends want, but...)
But what if the reason it doesn't make sense to go is because it will make you feel uncomfortable or bored? In that case, isn't it still a sort of feeling guiding the decision (just one that isn't oriented outwardly)?
Oh, yeah, you are right actually. I just realized that I answered a different question than ThatGirl was asking. I just jumped ahead trying to help TG get along better with her friends so I told what the feeler assumes her to do... or how a feeler would behave but that isn't what a thinker with strong feeling would do. (And to that question I don't have an answer)
Actually I wasn't going to go because I have a million other things that take priority. I have to work the next day, and it takes more effort in planning for me to attend than she realizes. Overall that amount of effort could be more productive applied to my responsibilities and long term goal, rather than a night of indulgance.
Not to mention getting a gift
Interesting. Now that you put it that way... it does make it really difficult to see where exactly the difference is. Even if it is in the process, it isn't easy to point out since if I encounter something new (that I don't have valued before) I would think through the pros and the cons (if I was smart). And if a thinker encounters a familiar situation (which he has valued before) he will use the old formula (if he is efficient). So, where is the difference?
Hmmm...this makes me wonder what the real difference is between thinking and feeling. Your reservations for going to the party could still be construed as feeling because you value your responsibilities (and the overall benefits that attending to them can bring you in the long term) more than you value your friends feelings, which is still a judgment based on value (though I'm not saying that you don't value your friend's feelings, just using this as a scenario).
And this really gets to the crux of my problem with the whole T/F divide. Say you're in a situation where someone who is important to you (in a career utility way) says something prodigiously stupid during an informal conversation, which you disagree with on a factual or moral basis (this doesn't matter to the scenario, only the fact that you disagree matters). Regardless of what is motivating your desire to argue, you have a few choices to make...you can either ignore him/her, try to find a polite way to correct him/her, or outright argue with him/her (accepting the high possibility that this engagement will probably offend him/her).
The problem is that no matter which one of these options you choose, it will always be rooted on a base value. If you choose to ignore him/her, your decision could have been based off of utility, in which case you value the long-term career and financial benefits that you will receive if you let the error pass. Or you might not want to hurt his/her feelings, in which case you clearly value social harmony. Or you might not want him/her to think poorly of you (even though you're right) because you value the feeling of being appreciated. In all cases there's something that you value.
And even if you went about in this way and weighed the pros and cons of each potential decision (which is something that is typically grouped under "thinking"), you would still be basing your final decision on what you valued most. Essentially, I'm saying that if feeling = making judgments of value, then we are all feelers, because almost all decisions are made from values.
Or are we saying that the difference lies in the process? That the thinker would have automatically gone through the pros and cons of each choice, and the feeler would have automatically known what to decide without considering the other possibilities? That in ThatGirl's case, if she were a feeler she would not have consciously considered any other alternative to what she valued?
So, it is attitude to emotions? Still, that attitude is a value judgment.. isn't it?
i'm curious though...when you're in love with someone and being sweet and affectionate and all that...you're just feeling right? there's no detached application to feeling is there...or an intellectualized feeling...it's just natural feeling isn't it? like say i'm taking a test...i'm just thinking...i'm not having a feeling about the thinking process...while in the moment.
did that make any sense?
Yeah, that describes it about as well as I would. You can look at Ts and Fs as having habits. Ts T out of habit, and Fs F. But in love everyone Fs, and in math, everyone Ts.I think when a T is in love, they become less detached to a degree, especially during close intimate times with their partner.
This is probably why they say "Love clouds logical judgment" and things to that effect.