Stuck between 5, 9, and 4...what enneagram type do you think I am?

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Hi! I've been taking enneagram tests and end up with either 5, 9, or 4(5w4, 4w5 or 9w1 with wings). They all seem to suit me to a point, but it's hard to find my dominant type. What do you think I am?

I'm quite the curious person! I love trying new things-variety is the spice of life! I like to read about science, cultures, psychology-so many things! I find that with a lot of books/shows I like, there's a learning element to it. I have a taste for cooking and medical shows, and I often get into shows because they're from another country, take place in another time period, or are vintage. I'm very observant, whether it's watching someone cook in the kitchen or looking out the window on a roadtrip, taking in the beauty and looking at every shop and cafe each town has to offer. I ask lots of questions. When, where, and by who was this invented? Why does this person behave this way? How does this technology work? Why does this tradition exist?

I'm a bit socially awkward. I'm shy and it's hard to initiate conversation for me, but if someone brings up a topic I'm very knowleagable about or interested in, I'm itching to get a word in! I like my alone time and space, where I can recharge for hours, dance with no one watching and process my thoughts. I have trouble making friends, even bonding with family members, so when I find someone I'm fiercely loyal to them. In relationships, I'm clingy, but I'm generous and accepting of quirks. I consider my partners best friends, and I like breaking tradition to a point. Traditionally, it's the dudes who spoil the ladies and organize the dates, but in my relationships, it's been the other way around. Small talk is usually boring and even hard sometimes, and things like parties turn me off(loud noises, crowds- ew).

I'm a pretty easygoing person. I see the best in others and am forgiving, understanding, looking for the reason behind why they did what they did. In arguments, I listen to both sides of the situation-I'm a mediator. I don't like conflict; if I hear arguing, I'm running. I rarely fight back, but if I do, I'm passive aggressive and/or salty. Perhaps I take too much of people's crap, but I'm trying to fix that. I will say I like debates. I rarely get genuinely angry, but can be quick to annoy. I'm full of ideas and want to share them, but I'm pretty go-with-the flow when people share their own. I keep a good sense of humor and am excitable.

I don't show my feelings much. I'm usually the calmest person in the room, or I'll at least look it. Sometimes it's hard to understand my own feelings, and I listen to music a lot as a way of, I guess, expressing them to myself. But my emotions run deep. I overthink things a lot and therefore get bad anxiety and guilt. I cry at silly things-tests, people talking about touchy subjects in class, or other people's misfortunes. Not just big misfortunes-there was this one time where a teacher was yelling at my sister, but I was the one crying. As you may guess, I have a lot of empathy. I also have a soft spot for animals!

My values? Accepting people for their differences(especially those with disabilities), and not being afraid of being different myself. Different gets you success, different is new and exciting! When cooking in my culinary arts classes, I don't want my dishes to be boring! Food is art on a plate, and you eat it everyday, so why not have fun with it? Same thing with my clothes-it's art you wear everyday! I want to understand how the world works rather than being blind and judgemental. I'd like to find a true passion, something I can devote myself to and excel at. I want life to have a purpose! I always look to broaden my sense of adventure. I'm not a daredevil, but like I said, I like trying new things, mostly eating exotic and super spicy foods, riding wild thrill rides and traveling to new places. Maybe I can expand that to skydiving or ziplining through the forest.

I fear not being useful enough, or simply being stupid. I need a sense of self-worth. Therefore, I'm competitive, a bit of a perfectionist, and harp on silly mistakes. I try to be helpful, whether donating or helping around the house. I fear missing out on opportunity; I feel like there's always something better that I could doing, even though I don't always execute that better thing. Life is short! I actually fear not standing out-being the same is, well, boring. I feel the need to add a personal flair to almost everything I own.

My interests include listening to music of all sorts, travel, cooking/baking, board games(especially word games!), video games, art, animals, reading, dancing, cartoons and vintage things. When I'm done college, my top career choices are a nutritionist, graphic designer, chef, or a travel writer.

Hope this helps! Feel free to include tritype and SP/SO/SX too!

 

[RadicalDoubt]

Enneagram wise, this is very difficult to gauge. You talk a lot about behavior, but not a lot about motivation. Core wise, going by gut and your stress on your easy going nature, accepting nature, and relative calmness and conflict evasiveness, I'd say that 9w1 is probably a pretty good bet. You don't really come across sx in any way either, so you're probably somewhere in the so/sp and sp/so range. Your explorativness and curiosity almost sounds akin to perhaps a 6w7 or 7w6 superficially, although I'd assume you didn't get either of those on tests since a) you express that you're not a daredevil and b) Rarely anyone gets 6 on tests, even if thy have a huge amount of 6 influence. You don't sound like the triple withdrawn tritype in the very least.

A good direction to go from here is likely to read up a bit more on the core fears and defense tactics of the different mechanisms of the types. With that, you should probably find your answer, or at least get closer.

 

[Seymour]

To build upon what RadicalDoubt said, might be illuminating to hear what gets in the way of your being close to others, to pursuing what's important to you, and to fully being present in your life. Often our habitual defense mechanisms and how they get in our way reveal our enneagram type... although it can be tough to see them, since their role is to keep unpleasant things out of consciousness.

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

With people, there's straight up shyness. Usually I know what to say, but it doesn't always come out, even I know deep down things will be fine. Either I'll have a hard time relating to people or it'll feel like we have everything in common and we still won't bond. Like I said, small talk is awkward-it feels forced! I feel more at ease talking about deep questions or at least a favorite movie. It takes me awhile to trust people too. Say someone invited me to sit with them at lunch. Sweet, I'll join! But it's gonna take probably 10 rounds of inviting to make sure it's ok to sit with them again and open up to them. Even then, I get left out. Frankly, I worry that I'm not unique enough compared to the friends they already have, but I want to fit in. I don't use much social media, if that has to do with anything. I prefer working by myself than in a group; not only do I get lost in group settings, I get excited about having creative ideas and am protective of them.

The introvertedness is part of what keeps me from pursuing things. Say I just got done with class and lunch. One part of me is saying, "Go to the fitness center and work out!" or "Let's go to the library and read manga!". But then the other part of me says, "Lets' hide in my dorm for 5 hours!". Yeah, I need time away from the chaos, to do my own thing without interruptions, to have time to think. This happens at home too. It can be simple as wanting to play a game, but winding up pacing around for a few hours, playing music whilst processing my thoughts. I have low energy too-not sure that's an enneagram thing, but I've heard it being associated with some MBTI types. My mind makes me pace even though my body is not all that energetic. Plus, I just rarely get invited anywhere, which is depressing. I have one real friend in real life, and I don't see him much. Anddd, there's overthinking. What if I get homesick? What if I get stared at? What if I get ignored?

Even though I seek passions, it's just hard to find one that rings true. I made lots of crafts when I was young, wrote lots of stories, drew a lot. But that zeal faded away, don't really know what happened. I still like to draw, write, and craft-it helps me express myself-but nothing speaks to me as a passion yet. I think deep down my perfectionism prevents me from finishing drawings or stories. I think it's also why I have encylopedic knowledge of some things-I'm interested in geopgraphy, so now I've memorized almost every town in Maine.

I hope that helps somewhat. I'm honestly surprised about 7w6 and 6w7 since they're the more extroverted types, and I'm definitely an introvert. But it could be right. : Any more questions?

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Thanks! 9w1 is starting to resonate, though were you suggesting I post one of those questionnaires you shared? And do you think both 9w1 and 6w7/7w6 could be in my trifix, maybe with 5w4?

 

[BAD1973]

Introverted 7s present differently than most. You sound like you could be an introverted 7w6, to me. Like said above, it's really about what motivates you.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

You sound like a pretty clear cut 7 with Ne.

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Guys got any ideas for tritype or trifix?

 

[kittenke]

[MENTION=38618]robobot14[/MENTION]

You actually sound ENFP over INFP to me. Too happy-go-lucky compared to the INFPs I've seen lol

So yeah 7 with some 9 seems to work for you. 7w6, I guess, for wing... I agree on sx-last too.

 

[Satachi]

379 for a potential tritype

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Really? I'm not good at making friends or keeping friends. I hate big groups, like lots of alone time, prefer working alone, can't even go up and say hi most of the time(even to family), and I hide from strangers. I'm actual starting a new thread for tritype if you guys are interested.

 

[kittenke]

Really? I'm not good at making friends or keeping friends. I hate big groups, like lots of alone time, prefer working alone, can't even go up and say hi most of the time(even to family), and I hide from strangers. I'm actual starting a new thread for tritype if you guys are interested.

Hmmm ok that does sound introversion stereotypically. But also, you kept talking about N things rather than F things...

Anyway this thread is about Enneagram, I think I've given my opinion about that as best as I could.

 

[Satachi]

I don't really get the impression that you are 5 (at least when compared to other 5s), nor do I get the anxiety of a 6 from you, that would just leave 7 as the head type.

Regarding 8,9,1 - others have already given their opinion on choosing 9 and I don't really see any reason to disagree with that assessment.

That basically leaves 2,3,4. So you're basically looking at these 3 profiles (2,7,9), (3,7,9) and (4,7,9) - what's your personal feeling on these three different profiles?

Regarding the whole not making friends, keeping friends business - I feel like that doesn't necessarily mean that you can't be these types. For example, I'm pretty much an FJ individual however a lot of my behaviours don't really reflect that, desire for friends, desire to be connected etc. It honestly depends on why you're choosing to work alone/be alone as well. e.g. if you had no issues with socialisation, where do you think you'd be? Of course you'd still want your own time, but would you really hate groups as much as you do now?

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

I think 479 fits best. Why 2 and 3? I mean, I haven't really looked into those types.