[sx] Struggling with lack of intensity

[1487610420]

 

[Peter Deadpan]

And here I thought it was a cornerstone of your personality.

Oh it totally is, but you still aren't impressing anyone.

The thing about pointing out weaknesses in others is that it doesn't sting if they already acknowledged it... ya gotta fish for what swims below the surface so that you trip them up when you throw the catch at their feet.

Also, doing so won't make your penis bigger.

 

[1487610420]

It does increase the page count tho.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

It does increase the page count tho.

It speaks.

 

[anticlimatic]

Oh it totally is, but you still aren't impressing anyone.

The thing about pointing out weaknesses in others is that it doesn't sting if they already acknowledged it... ya gotta fish for what swims below the surface so that you trip them up when you throw the catch at their feet.

Also, doing so won't make your penis bigger.

The singular cure for listlessness is enjoying new things, and making excuses not to go there is a choice- not a weakness.

You’re welcome. Enjoy the new and improved you.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

The singular cure for listlessness is enjoying new things, and making excuses not to go there is a choice- not a weakness.

You’re welcome. Enjoy the new and improved you.

That's a better burn. Well done.

 

[1487610420]

 

[Luminous]

Oh it totally is, but you still aren't impressing anyone.

The thing about pointing out weaknesses in others is that it doesn't sting if they already acknowledged it... ya gotta fish for what swims below the surface so that you trip them up when you throw the catch at their feet.

Also, doing so won't make your penis bigger.

I love you.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

The thing about pointing out weaknesses in others is that it doesn't sting if they already acknowledged it... ya gotta fish for what swims below the surface so that you trip them up when you throw the catch at their feet.

What comes up for me when I read this thread (how I imagine sx dominance 'lack of intensity' manifesting for me) is kind of along these lines - I crave intensity/intimacy in the form of insightful honesty. There's a fine line between presenting feedback that's honest and just being an asshole. I want to say that I think the difference is whether or not the feedback is coming from a compassionate position: it's an asshole-ish thing to want it to 'sting'. The two aren't mutually exclusive, but too much 'asshole' in the 'truth' ruins the intensity/intimacy for me. Just like an over-diplomatic 'truth' (read: no asshole component, but also not really the truth) also ruins the intensity/intimacy in a connection. Either of these things in a connection to another person makes the connection feel like it's too much work. I feel more alone interacting under these parameters than I do when I'm actually alone. There aren't many people I find myself compatible with in this regard; hence, I struggle with lack of intensity in my life. I sorely crave connections that just feel honest, because that is what's stimulating to me.

 

[Lark]

What comes up for me when I read this thread (how I imagine sx dominance 'lack of intensity' manifesting for me) is kind of along these lines - I crave intensity/intimacy in the form of insightful honesty. There's a fine line between presenting feedback that's honest and just being an asshole. I want to say that I think the difference is whether or not the feedback is coming from a compassionate position: it's an asshole-ish thing to want it to 'sting'. The two aren't mutually exclusive, but too much 'asshole' in the 'truth' ruins the intensity/intimacy for me. Just like an over-diplomatic 'truth' (read: no asshole component, but also not really the truth) also ruins the intensity/intimacy in a connection. Either of these things in a connection to another person makes the connection feel like it's too much work. I feel more alone interacting under these parameters than I do when I'm actually alone. There aren't many people I find myself compatible with in this regard; hence, I struggle with lack of intensity in my life. I sorely crave connections that just feel honest, because that is what's stimulating to me.

You should check out Life is an Art by Rainer Funk, its a life and work of Erich Fromm and built around the theme of some idea called Direct Encounter, I only mention it because it sounds a lot like what you're talking about here.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Generally if I get this way it means I'm probably lacking personal connections and/or depressed as fuck. If it's the former I search for new ones, peruse around places until I find someone a genuine connection forms with. If it's the latter...well, in my case I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder since I was 14-15 and medications are all that actually eliminate it.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I'm not changing my type, per se, but I am confessing to struggling with a lack of intensity or "life juice".

I'm very single, very friendless, very naturally asocial and withdrawn, and feel little need do change any of this both for the sake of growth, and because humans are too demanding.

But, what do I do when I crave that intimate connection? I know it doesn't have to be a person, but I've struggled finding a thing that replaces it. I've dabbled in photography, hiking, foraging, art, and buying things that "make me happy", but I always end up on the couch at night wanting more.

Generally, I tend to succumb to exhibitionism in one form or another, which I eventually grew ashamed of. Now, I'm more comfortable with accepting that aspect of my personality, but I still don't want to go completely overboard with it.

So, what do you frustrated sexuals do when life leaves you feeling internally restless and unsatisfied?

Do you say "blankie" in english ? Maybe a blankie would do ?

Well I see what you mean. But as an EXFP I don't tolerate frustration that much, having a cat is probably the best comfort I found.

We communicate all the time, even when I am away he sends me some messages by telepathy. But that is also true with people anyway.

You are not alone. The universe won't allow this.