[MBTI General] STJ's and their kid

[chippinchunk]

Ok, well, I'm not an STJ, but both my parents are: Mom-ESTJ Dad-ISTJ. Being their kid is (I have no word for it ). I mean, my mom cares too much and my dad cares too little.

And this for me is unbelievable. I can't really stand my mother and my dad doesnt really help me fight her off.

He can't stand her screaming, her bossy/need to do something (can't stay home) personality, her weird beliefs and her altogether. (me neither)
She can't stand his non talking ways, laid back personality, his strong prejudice, and most of him altogether. (im 'OK', with this...)

(that's them summed up)

Why are they still a pair? I have no clue myself.

I think my mother is crazy. She freaks about everything I do. Which is not much, thanks to her. (me) Leaving the house makes her go haywire, and if I am at home I cant be in my room for too long. I have to leave it once and a while to "show my face". Sleeping over at someones house would be a huge problem, even going to a friends house for a couple of hours is---yeah, I cant even do that.

I think my dad doesnt care. He goes to work, comes back at three (in the afternoon) and expects to do nothing til he crashes at 11. His main thing is relaxing. If you even ask him to do anything it's such a hassel. He's actually a very selfish person and is somewhat narcissistic. He doesnt even talk to me unless it has something to do with him.

Can you explain why they are like this? Is this unhealthy??

I'm sick of my mom, and im OK with my dad, but just recently I read about an INFJ having problems with her ISTJ father, and I'm like, "Come on!" hopefully I wont just distance myself. I want everything to go smoothly, like a normal-ish family. But with these two, the only thing close to a normal familiy is my grandma.

 

[bai_lin83]

I think my mother is crazy. She freaks about everything I do. Which is not much, thanks to her. (me) Leaving the house makes her go haywire, and if I am at home I cant be in my room for too long. I have to leave it once and a while to "show my face". Sleeping over at someones house would be a huge problem, even going to a friends house for a couple of hours is---yeah, I cant even do that.

Hmm.. Oh yeah! That sounds a lot like my mom... She may not go haywire when I go out, but she'd still want to know exactly where I'm going, who I'm going out with, what time I will come back,...

 

[chippinchunk]

Hmm.. Oh yeah! That sounds a lot like my mom... She may not go haywire when I go out, but she'd still want to know exactly where I'm going, who I'm going out with, what time I will come back,...

At least you get to leave the house. Even with all that, it's still very if-y.
*sigh*

 

[Yomama99]

I feel bad for the kid to have to grow up with two STJ parents!

 

[chippinchunk]

I feel bad for the kid to have to grow up with two STJ parents!

Thank you...thats me.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I only had to grow up with one, thank God. You have my sympathy.

 

[Varelse]

Thank you...thats me.

Same here.

 

[Athenian200]

It definitely sounds like they're both unhealthy. She's obsessive about maintaining order in her life, and he's obsessive about maintaining leisure/stability in his life. I think they compliment each other because her order enables him (or has enabled him) to have more leisure/stability and less concern about anything else. As bad as it is, they keep themselves inside their "comfort zones." And from what I've experienced of SJ's, it actually seems like they're more concerned about not leaving their comfort zones than they are about preserving traditions, although the two often go hand in hand.

I prefer to stay within a comfort zone myself, but I'm willing to let go a little bit at a time to get where I want to be, while they see the comfort zone its self as "the" goal. Does that make sense?

 

[FDG]

I've got an ISTJ dad but he's awesome, he's a bit controlling but not particularly as long as you show that you're reliable and punctual, he's generally cheerful and not particularly demanding as long as you show that you take the important side of life seriously, and he's also quite laid back.

Problems are that sometimes he doesn't know well where boundaries are, like when I'm working or studying in my room he comes and asks me to do something but I'm busy and I can't etc etc

In fact I get along with him probably better than with my ISFJ mom, at least he's not always complaining about something...