Speaking Style

[Metamorphosis]

So, at the risk of sounding like an idiot (as much as an INTJ can, anyways, ), I barely noticed a few months ago how dull my speaking style is. Then, I started listening to the speaking styles of everyone I encountered and found that the most entertaining/confident seeming people were the ones that used a lot of pitch and projected their voice well.

I pretty much got the projecting thing down in like a week, but it's really difficult to make your speaking pattern less monotone conciously. (Which is strange, because it's perfectly fine when I am in E mode with my friends)

I'm curious how you all speak and if you have thought about this before (particularly INTJs)...

On a somewhat related note...I think this is also partially the reason why we come off as standoff-ish. I went out to eat last night with some of my friends and we had a waitress that was probably an NT. My friend joked with her a little bit and she replied with a typical INTesque sarcastic comment in that dull tone I'm talking about. I immediately interpreted it as a joke and thought it was funny, but everyone else at the table thought she was just bitchy...wtf? No wonder everyone hates us.

 

[Totenkindly]

Yes. The other strike against you is that you're male, and males generally use a more monotone pitch when they speak. Females innately opt for a variance in their intonation and they fluctuate pitch more often within a sentence.

So being a male INTx or other non-emoting type can really flatten out your voice. But it's nothing that you can't fix, if you pay attention as you are and tailor it as you feel comfortable with. In a formal, more public-speaking setting, you can practice and just listen to yourself as if from the outside. If you can record yourself and play back so you can hear what you sounded like, even better.

INTs tend to mumble too, at least INTPs. I do not know whether it's the "not sure of what I'm saying, so I'm speculating out loud to myself as I talk" thing, but if the entire sentence isn't already at a mumble, then you can sometimes just watch it wind down into one. It's humorous... unless you're trying to understand the person doing it.

 

[Kyrielle]

I have a pretty monotone voice with people I'm uncomfortable with...or when I'm so tired I really don't have the energy to manage more than a quiet mumble. But, the moment I start feeling relaxed and secure, I lapse into my "normal" mode of speaking...which is a projected, all-over-the-place-in-pitch, enthusiastic sound. Though, I've only once listened to a recording of myself. I sounded like a completely different person, so I made a point to avoid doing that in the future.

 

[Recluse]

Metamorphosis wrote:
I pretty much got the projecting thing down in like a week, but it's really difficult to make your speaking pattern less monotone conciously.

Does this not mean that you're now shouting at people in a dull monotone? I'm picturing your avatar: :yim_rolling_on_the_

 

[Athenian200]

My speaking style is usually kind of fast, according to some people. Some people understand it perfectly, and others are always asking me to repeat myself. I've noticed that I use a lot of hand gestures, and my tone varies quite a bit. I might use a monotone voice if I gave a one-word answer while writing or otherwise distracted, but never in anything resembling a conversation.

I'll admit that when people speak in monotone, it usually makes me nervous, because I'm not sure whether they like what I'm saying, or whether it made them so angry/irritated they're trying to restrain themselves from harming me. I rely on certain signals/cues to orient myself. As well as I get along with INTx's online, they would probably make me nervous, defensive, and confused in real life. A pity, really.

 

[htb]

Is it emoting, or expression, in which case the determinant would be extroversion? Keirsey gives one answer, Myers-Briggs another. I'm waiting for the theory market to shake out.

 

[niffer]

Hmm...I've actually never really thought about this before. I mostly speak in a very monotone voice, unless I'm excited. This seems to amuse people though, since most of what I talk about ends up to be something funny and it all gets told this way and with a completely neutral face. And a lot of the time when I'm not speaking, I believe my expression usually becomes very dramatic, taking the reactions of other people looking at me.

Also, my voice is pretty low for a girl...and my range is very limited. (Singing is not one of my hobbies.) It doesn't go that much lower or higher than my normal talking level. It stays low when I'm relaxed, and goes a lot higher when I'm panicky or talking to adults. And unless I'm excited (or scared) I speak markedly slower, calmer and smoother than most people I know...kind of mellow, almost.

If I spoke in colour, it would be a dark lavender-blue.

 

[FDG]

I speak in a very loud and fast voice that sometimes becomes high pitched. This means yes that I'm hard to ignore, lol.

 

[Lateralus]

I can only speak in monotone when I'm purposely trying to goof around (imitating a robot or whatever). There's naturally quite a bit of emotion in my voice, even when I'm not emotional. My voice doesn't get squeaky, either. Does this mean I'm awesome?

 

[ygolo]

I have a low pitch, soft, monotone speech. In person, it can be annoying, but I've been told that on the phone it is rather soothing.

 

[Recluse]

I would find your voice soothing. A booming or shrill voice can send me looking for my coat.

 

[Economica]

Does this not mean that you're now shouting at people in a dull monotone? I'm picturing your avatar: :yim_rolling_on_the_

---

Metamorphosis, the INTJs I know vary in their speaking style. One does the classic INTX low mumbling monotone (despite being extremely outgoing), others (including me, I think ) vary pitch and volume - though given our level of skill at it, I'm not sure that doing it is necessarily more conducive to listening than the monotone. Good thing we compensate with content.

 

[Totenkindly]

Is it emoting, or expression, in which case the determinant would be extroversion? Keirsey gives one answer, Myers-Briggs another. I'm waiting for the theory market to shake out.

I don't know which it would be (emoting = F, expression = E) either.

Is it possible that both contribute and simply layer upon each other?

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I've been said that I could be a voice actor for children's programmes.
I've been said to make a good model for a comic book character.
I've been said to have opera-like quality to my voice.
One of my GF's said to have fallen in love with my voice.

Reading between the lines, some people must see me as a fake, liar, dishonest, actor, attention-seeker, power-striving, influence-hungry person, as well, as long as my voice is considered.

 

[htb]

If the dynamics of articulation (and gesticulation) are compound, then there is far more to learn about temperament and personality.

I just got off the phone with a friend who once typed as INFJ -- he called me, and yet the conversation was soon stop-start, carried and eventually concluded ("Well, I'll leave you to your time with your friend") by myself. The same often happens with a male INFP friend. So, what might cause this: introversion or a feeling preference?

 

[Athenian200]

If the dynamics of articulation (and gesticulation) are compound, then there is far more to learn about temperament and personality.

I just got off the phone with a friend who once typed as INFJ -- he called me, and yet the conversation was soon stop-start, carried and eventually concluded ("Well, I'll leave you to your time with your friend") by myself. The same often happens with a male INFP friend. So, what might cause this: introversion or a feeling preference?

How can we speculate on what caused what if we don't even know what you're talking about? Are you asking why he called you? Are you asking why the conversation was intermittent? Were you referring to his tone and pitch patterns, even though you didn't describe them? I'm confused.

 

[htb]

Are you asking why the conversation was intermittent?

Yes. Sorry, I posted the equivalent of thinking out loud. The relevance, though could be whatever correlation exists between styles of expression and adroitness (in this case, both friends are soft-spoken).

The two come across, on the phone, as if they quickly forget what they have called about; or else have only a single message to convey but don't know how to end the conversation immediately following. They've both tested as NFs, so I briefly considered a pattern. It could just as easily be a narrow range of shared interests.

 

[Veneti]

On a somewhat related note...I think this is also partially the reason why we come off as standoff-ish. I went out to eat last night with some of my friends and we had a waitress that was probably an NT. My friend joked with her a little bit and she replied with a typical INTesque sarcastic comment in that dull tone I'm talking about. I immediately interpreted it as a joke and thought it was funny, but everyone else at the table thought she was just bitchy...wtf? No wonder everyone hates us.

Yip, you laughed because she just slapped him down and didn't really give a damn about it.... (but also, she probably takes lots of crap off guys she serves).

 

[Veneti]

No sure that INT has any particular style. I think speaking is a function of self awareness, along with all the other things we try to improve upon.

The way I talk is quite fast and straight down the line, I assume that most people can fill in the gaps (but they don't, so I am trying to change that).

INT's should in theory be witty as quick thinking and imagination are all part of the INT's internal workings? (aka a bit of brain jousting).

 

[booyalab]

INTs tend to mumble too, at least INTPs. I do not know whether it's the "not sure of what I'm saying, so I'm speculating out loud to myself as I talk" thing, but if the entire sentence isn't already at a mumble, then you can sometimes just watch it wind down into one. It's humorous... unless you're trying to understand the person doing it.

I hate when other people mumble. I think I'm pretty good at refraining from it considering I'm an INT, but I'll sometimes trail off if I'm getting bored of talking.

My speaking voice is level. It gets monotonous when I go into 'informative' mode.