[MBTI General] Socializing. Is this all there is?

[simulatedworld]

I think NT's appreciate NF's more than this forum lets on. T's can be downright detached from their feelings but that doesn't mean we don't seek to understand them. What you said was really insightful. I've been gunning for quantity because it's what I interpreted as important for so long. I've been completely ignoring that it makes me miserable.

Is this a feel-o-tard moment?

That's probably true. There are lots of situations where I prefer to work with NFs over NTs, or sometimes SPs, etc. etc.

 

[Lucifer]

New friends.

I agree with simulated on the experience/school conversation.
avol you need to be more constructive, who calls someone a dipshit ?

 

[sunset5678]

I totally agree...only my problem isn't 'drinking'...it's more of idiots that ignore
you and treat you like an ant then they are suddenly over nice and over helpful just because they don't know how to handle not being seen talking to
SOMEBODY for more than fifteen minutes...they'll take ANYBODY, well unless
for some reason they're not good enough. I don't waste my time on people
like that because they'll turn around and backstab you by making it out to look
like a problem when they think something is not all fun and games and try to
criticize other people for wanting to be around you.

 

[Shimmy]

I totally agree...only my problem isn't 'drinking'...it's more of idiots that ignore
you and treat you like an ant then they are suddenly over nice and over helpful just because they don't know how to handle not being seen talking to
SOMEBODY for more than fifteen minutes...they'll take ANYBODY, well unless
for some reason they're not good enough. I don't waste my time on people
like that because they'll turn around and backstab you by making it out to look
like a problem when they think something is not all fun and games and try to
criticize other people for wanting to be around you.

I used to have a problem with those people as well. I'd be the wallflower who only talked to somebody occasionally and usually very short. I know how it sucks.

However, it is possible to change that situation for yourself. After I learned about NLP, and particularly the presumptions that "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten" and, "People always have the means to achieve what they want", I decided to try a different approach to parties in general.
Nowadays I'm the guy who initiates conversation and I'm the one who picks the people I want to talk to. A possitive side effect is that I'm much more self confident and other people are more open to me as well.
There are almost always interresting people around you, even if at first they don't seem nice to you, they probably are if you just get to know them.

 

[SilkRoad]

That's because you're in Canada. If I go north, I'm also shocked by how alchool seems to play a very central part in all social interactions. You might get something better if you go south, either southern europe or southern america (however, of course, you will get less of other stuff).

Not so sure about that. I'm Canadian but I live in England. Where I grew up in Canada, a lot of people (and certainly those I hung out with at school and elsewhere) didn't drink very much at all.

In England, by circumstance, I have quite a lot of Aussie and Kiwi acquaintances, and if they have any interests at all besides partying and drinking, I haven't noticed it. Apparently these nationalities have very much this reputation in England. It hasn't given me the best impression of the southern hemisphere (though I visited Aus and NZ a few years ago and loved them...but that was before I lived in England.) The Aussies and Kiwis here almost all seem to be raging SPs. Nice enough people as individuals (though not very interesting) but hard to distinguish when they're in a group - which they usually are.

 

[nucleaReligion]

I grew up in a small community where the alcoholic consumption per capita was that of L.A. or NYC....and people were rather proud of it. Needless to say, I wasn't into that (nor am I still really). I'm 21 and like to drink, but not to the point of inebriation.

I would take the suggestion posted earlier, go to a university setting or take a class on something that interests you.


As for my friends, I don't really hang around a certain group for very long. I come back of course, after I've discovered something new or am feeling nostalgic. But, case in point, I'm never around ONE group of friends for very long...it's multiple groups of friends.