So, which letter is the most important?

[simulatedworld]

Wow, why haven't we really communicated before? We seem to look at typology in the same manner and seem to "get" the same stuff. I guess I just never knew that about you.

Because your deficient Ne writes me off before listening to me. Lacking awareness of context or degree, tertiary Si is often too busy informing everyone of how whatever they've suggested doesn't apply in your personal direct concrete past experience.

No offense, just my perception.

 

[Littlelostnf]

Well for me personally I'd have to say the N/S but of course each letter is shaped by the others. Functions and all that. But since N/S is the way we communicate and I'm an N. I have a natural easy flow with most N's. We just get each other I think. Now the matter of if we like each other is something completely different.

 

[Yloh]

Bumping this thread!

Here is an interesting study I've found a while back and want to hear what you guys/girls think about it.

PersonalityDesk - Resources - Compatibility and Your Myers-Briggs

Of course only a few hundred couples were used, so it wouldn't be as valad as thousands of couples.

On another note, some people say that the J/P preference is the most important. Do you guys mean that two Js or two Ps would get along better than a J and a P. I've read, and I'm sure you guys have read, that mirrors (ExxJ with IxxP or IxxJ with ExxP) make the perfect match. If that is true, then having a J/P difference would be a great thing.

It seems like the J/P preference is the most confusing one as that controls how the individual uses their other preferences. Js have the Fe, Te, Ni, Si while the Ps have the Fi, Ti, Ne, Se dom and aux.

Well, for different people certain letters are more important than others. That is what makes us great. I was just wondering if there was some other studies or experiences that show a patteren.

What ever type allows you to be open and honest with the most will be the best type for you in a romantic relationship. That is what I have to say about that.

 

[Laurie]

It appears that in my tiny group of serious relationships the only similar letter has been F.

My really close friends end up being T.

 

[entropie]

p and J in my opinion. Often decides between whether there is ever a possibility to get along with each other or not

 

[Cheat1011]

It depends on your type. 2 letters usually share the same amount of importance.

Ti dom - IT
Ni dom - IN
Ne dom - EN
Te dom - TJ
Fi dom - IF
Si dom - IS
Se dom - ES
Fe dom - FJ

 

[cafe]

Y

/unhelpful post

 

[Venom]

Damn new ENFJ for stealing my thread idea.
I was getting to typing it out.
I really was...

The most useful letter for relationships, (for me anyway)
has been

F

(Todays letter is the letter F!!)

warmth and nurturing, compassion....
I find that overuse of Te is a downfall.. Nobody wants a super efficient workaholic girlfriend with little emotional expression.

Ni has been destructive on the other end.. People blaming me for things I didn't do.. trying to draw meaning where there is none. Making absurd guesses as to what I'm thinking. That can be confusing and frustrating for someone whos pretty straightforward and honest!!

so i take it shes no longer with the ENTJ....

 

[sunshinebrighter]

The least important I think is E/I. Even the most introverted person will open up when they feel accepted and supported. Every relationship should try to achieve that level of comfort.

The most important I think is P/J. P's generally should stick with P's and vice versa. In my opinion these functions determines our lifestyle the most. How organized we are, future planning, how we pass judgments about others, etc, etc.

 

[FDG]

Just look at socionics. They're all equally important, in the sense that the first 3 letters have to be the opposite and the last the same.

 

[Charmed Justice]

The question is, in a romantic relationship, what letter of the MBTI would you say seems to be the most important (E/I, N/S, F/T, or J/P)? Also, what about the strength of the letters (Someone with a 20% J vs someone with a 90% J) and how that can influence the importance of that letter.

1.J v. P(Matters more, imo, if the woman is P and the man is J)
2.F v. T(Esp if the man is F and the woman is T)
3.E v. I(especially if the woman is E and then man is I)
4.S v. N(Can pose an occasional annoyance between two people who don't know each other very well; but in and of themselves, not a big deal compared to the others imo.)

I think it also depends on the degree to which someone prefers each attribute, and rather or not they like their preference, and/or strongly admire the other.

 

[Spamtar]

The F v T conflict always is good for a laugh.

 

[Yloh]

1.J v. P(Matters more, imo, if the woman is P and the man is J)
2.F v. T(Esp if the man is F and the woman is T)
3.E v. I(especially if the woman is E and then man is I)
4.S v. N(Can pose an occasional annoyance between two people who don't know each other very well; but in and of themselves, not a big deal compared to the others imo.)

I think it also depends on the degree to which someone prefers each attribute, and rather or not they like their preference, and/or strongly admire the other.

You know, I didn't even think about gender when I first wrote this thread , but that is a VERY good point.

I think strength of preference plays a HUGE role is which letter is more important for them. One example is for me and my judging function. I would consider myself a pretty weak J overall. When I hang out with strong Js, I get very annoyed at how they try to control everything. I mean they won't do anything with out a specific plan while I only want a general plan.

With Ps I can get along with, but I am bobbled at how they can't seem to finish anything. I really appreciate their way at approaching life, but I wish they can actually complete something they started. Don't worry, I'm not as bothered at this as I am making it sound.

In all honesty I think I would get along best with a weak J or weak P in a romantic relationship. If you are too strong on either side, then we would probably have a lot of conflicts.

When I was writing this thread, I came up with a little theory. It is all fun, but it does seem to make since to me. My theory is this, the right letter J/P is the most important. The letters go from right to left, most important to least important (J/P most important, F/T second most important, N/S third most important, E/I least important). Just because a letter is important doesn't mean that letter has to be the same. Some people prefer their opposites, while others prefer a common ground.

I truly believe it is good to be a little different, but not completely different (for the most part). Now I know some people were meant to be with others that are 100% alike, while others are meant to be with others that are 100% different. Our differences can help each one of us build each other up, and our similarities can help us feel close. I feel that relating a little while having different strengths would make a great team for a romantic relationship.

Now is just trying to find out what you like different in a person and what you want to be similar.

 

[entropie]

Tho p-ness would imply a gender issue, it's not meant that way. I nevertheless think it is the most important. There aint many people who know what they do and even less people who dont know that what they dont know is exactly the thing they do

(ignore me i am drunk)

 

[Charmed Justice]

You know, I didn't even think about gender when I first wrote this thread , but that is a VERY good point.

I think strength of preference plays a HUGE role is which letter is more important for them.

Now is just trying to find out what you like different in a person and what you want to be similar.

Lots of good points.
My absolute best relationships, defined by me as having minimal conflict or easy resolution without resentment and high levels of connection based on shared experiences, have been with SPs. NTs are cool but conflicts can extend themselves into long tirades ending nowhere, in my experience. With SJs, it's a toss up. We either get along very well, or we absolutely don't. Very risky in romance.

I can hang out with SJs and have a great time, so long as we're doing something, or talking about something superficial in nature. Extended conversations about deeper subjects have a tendency to get weird after awhile. I end up feeling like I need to hold my tongue, so as to not offend their sensibilities, or lose their friendship entirely. At the same time, I find myself listening to them go on and on about whatever they consider to be the "right" or the important thing with little reciprocation. Resentment follows. Intimate relationships with STJs in my personal life have ended up being very parent-childish(with me as the child). Not my thing at all.

It leads back to personal preference, and ingrained complexes, which we all have. My best relationships have been with men who had stronger Pness than I did(this has never failed), stronger E or very strong I, and who preferred S versus N. There's something to be said for T vs. F; but it's complex, and I haven't figured out what it is yet. I prefer strong extroversion because while I love being around people, I don't like being the one who leads as the center of attention. High introversion is also ok, because then the activities tend to lack an environment that would call for me being the center of attention anyway.

Tho p-ness would imply a gender issue, it's not meant that way. I nevertheless think it is the most important. There aint many people who know what they do and even less people who dont know that what they dont know is exactly the thing they do

(ignore me i am drunk)

Haha! Yes, everything you said.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I think that all in the ends comes down to differences between strenghts of letters between two people.

But this does not mean that things always get better as the differences are reduced.

 

[wolfy]

It's either N/S or T/F and it depends how you define successful relationship.

 

[JustHer]

I am going to go ahead and agree with the public and say N/S is most important.

I find strong S's to be unbelievably frustrating, and I don't think I could ever have a real and powerful connection with an S (theyre always shallow connections).

Probably T/F is next, followed by J/P (which really doesnt matter to me at all), then i/e

 

[BlackCat]

I am going to go ahead and agree with the public and say N/S is most important.

I find strong S's to be unbelievably frustrating, and I don't think I could ever have a real and powerful connection with an S (theyre always shallow connections).

Probably T/F is next, followed by J/P (which really doesnt matter to me at all), then i/e

N/S isn't really important to me at all (as I think I stated before in this thread). I'm on the border of all preferences, and for me I just basically have different sorts of conversations and "connections" with Ns and Ss. F/T is largely irrelevant to me unless I'm with an F that is overly sensitive and hyper emotional.

I'm starting to realize how important sharing J/P really is from living with people. I live with Ps (two INTPs) and we basically live life at the same pace and having very similar priorities, and yeah just sharing P really does matter. My ENFJ mom drove me up the wall when I would stay with her, just because of that J.

 

[Synapse]

What about attitude in romance, wouldn't attitude be a source of romantic interest towards the intentions of another as E/I.
While Romantic ideas would be an N/S experience as first choice I am confused to what role attitude has and the differences there is.
Then wouldn't T/F be seen as feelings that are made from affections and textures of a romantic situation.
Would J/P be scrutiny vs acceptance in the affability of attitude.

Jung's definition of attitude is a "readiness of the psyche to act or react in a certain way" Attitudes very often come in pairs, one conscious and the other unconscious.

The "presence of two attitudes is extremely frequent, one conscious and the other unconscious. This means that consciousness has a constellation of contents different from that of the unconscious, a duality particularly evident in neurosis"

Extraversion and introversion are the "attitude-types".
I conceive reason as an attitude

The rational attitude subdivides into the thinking and feeling psychological functions, each with its attitude.

The irrational attitude subdivides into the sensing and intuition psychological functions, each with its attitude. "There is thus a typical thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuitive attitude

When I take an abstract attitude...Abstraction is contrasted with concretism - a peculiarity of thinking and feeling which is the antithesis of abstraction”
MBTI definition

The MBTI write-ups limit the use of "attitude" to the extraversion-introversion (EI) and judging-perceiving (JP) indexes.

The JP index is sometimes referred to as an orientation to the outer world and sometimes JP is classified as an "attitude." In Jungian terminology the term attitude is restricted to EI. In MBTI terminology attitude can include EI and also JP.

The above MBTI Manual statement, is restricted to EI," is directly contradicted by Jung's statement above that there is "a typical thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuitive attitude" and by his other uses of the term "attitude". Regardless of whether the MBTI simplification (or oversimplification) of Jung can be attributed to Myers, Gifts Differing refers only to the "EI preference", consistently avoiding the label "attitude". Regarding the JP index, in Gifts Differing Myers does use the terms "the perceptive attitude and the judging attitude" The JP index corresponds to the irrational and rational attitudes Jung describes, except that the MBTI focuses on the preferred orientation in the outer world in order to identify the function hierarchy. To be consistent with Jung, it can be noted that a rational extraverted preference is accompanied by an irrational introverted preference.

Looks up attitude on type and this is what I found, curious.