So, which letter is the most important?

[Yloh]

Hello everybody! So, I've been becoming more and more interested in exploring the romantic side of life. This whole MBTI thing is new to me and it is very fascinating to me.

First of all, I know friendships are different from romantic relationships. Second, I know you shouldn't judge people based on their type (as any type can work out through open communication, common believes, common interests, ect), but knowing someone's type can give you an outline on what to expect. Also, some types just naturally work out better than others because there is something about those letters that makes the magic happen. From reading around, it seems some letters have some priority over other letters.

The question is, in a romantic relationship, what letter of the MBTI would you say seems to be the most important (E/I, N/S, F/T, or J/P)? Also, what about the strength of the letters (Someone with a 20% J vs someone with a 90% J) and how that can influence the importance of that letter.

If there is another thread on this subject (I did try looking), I apologise in advance. Also, there didn't seem to be a general discussion area, so I decided to post this question in the NF section as I'm a NF.

Thanks for your thoughts in advance!

 

[Orangey]

Moved to MBTI, Enneagram, and other personality matrices.

 

[Yloh]

Oops, I didn't even see this section.

 

[Athenian200]

For me, I'd say N.

It's possible that it would be F in your case, though. I think it's usually whatever your dominant function is.

 

[violet_crown]

The question is, in a romantic relationship, what letter of the MBTI would you say seems to be the most important (E/I, N/S, F/T, or J/P)? Also, what about the strength of the letters (Someone with a 20% J vs someone with a 90% J) and how that can influence the importance of that letter.

N

 

[King sns]

Damn new ENFJ for stealing my thread idea.
I was getting to typing it out.
I really was...

The most useful letter for relationships, (for me anyway)
has been

F

(Todays letter is the letter F!!)

warmth and nurturing, compassion....
I find that overuse of Te is a downfall.. Nobody wants a super efficient workaholic girlfriend with little emotional expression.

Ni has been destructive on the other end.. People blaming me for things I didn't do.. trying to draw meaning where there is none. Making absurd guesses as to what I'm thinking. That can be confusing and frustrating for someone whos pretty straightforward and honest!!

 

[amelie]

N vs. S.

I think where a person falls on the dimension of each letter probably matters a great deal, too. Someone who is toward the middle is likely to be very different than someone on the extremes, but I don't know of research on it. It's just a guess.

 

[Thalassa]

In my opinion it's P vs. J

 

[527468]

Quite concurrently, N for N, and S for S.

J/P is only important due to the fact that someone could consider type association either way and find that of importance to relationships. For instance, many Ps find it essential that they have a J type. Where as many Ps find another P type to be essential. This goes for Js too. I think I wrote an interpretation of this a long time ago.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

In a relationship N/S is most important. I just don't see the world in nearly the same way as the S's around me. It's almost like we're from two different planets.

 

[entropie]

In a relationship N/S is most important. I just don't see the world in nearly the same way as the S's around me. It's almost like we're from two different planets.

Seconded ^^

(btw. did you know if you cut S people they actually bleed green ? )

 

[jenocyde]

I prefer M over F.

 

[Matthew_Z]

I prefer M over F.

While I prefer F over M, I shall concur that M/F is the most important letter in my case.

 

[Moiety]

I/E is the least important and N/S definitely the most important, in my opinion.

 

[Thalassa]

I find it interesting that so many folks think that the S/N distinction is the most important. I don't. In fact, I think I may be attracted to some Ss (particularly SPs) because they get me out of my head. I don't know if I could get along with a partner if he was EXTREMELY S, but I honestly don't get the fixation with N.

Then again, my preference for P over J might strike others equally as odd.

 

[iwakar]

In fact, I think I may be attracted to some Ss (particularly SPs) because they get me out of my head.

This seems incongruous with your signature.

 

[Thalassa]

This seems incongruous with your signature.

Yeah, long story.

 

[demimondaine]

i'm drawn naturally most often to Ns, vice-versa, but also sometimes to SPs.
i seem to be able to do S and J separately, but not together (for romantic purposes, at least)

 

[Poki]

I find it interesting that so many folks think that the S/N distinction is the most important. I don't. In fact, I think I may be attracted to some Ss (particularly SPs) because they get me out of my head. I don't know if I could get along with a partner if he was EXTREMELY S, but I honestly don't get the fixation with N.

Then again, my preference for P over J might strike others equally as odd.

I think J vs P is the biggest issue. I think the whole N/S split is a good because it helps you see multiple sides of things. The thing though is Se/Ne can be good together and Ni/Si can be good together. To have these work you they must be either dominant or auxilary for both because our tertiary we dont trust and inferior we are only good with in certain areas. So to get Ne/Se and Ni/Si to line up you must both either be J or both P.

J and P is a huge determining factor because it is not a single function, it decides whether you learn from experience or not. J types tend to learn better from others and P types tend to want to do it and see what happens.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I think the whole N/S split is a good because it helps you see multiple sides of things. The thing though is Se/Ne can be good together and Ni/Si can be good together.

Not IME. Frienships can be okay, but for romantic relationships not really. I go best with other strong intuitives, Ni or Ne.

For me, the order of importance is approximately, from greatest importance to least importance:

1. N/S (strong N)
2. T/F = J/P (prefer someone who is fairly adept with both)
3. E/I (If an E, not a strong one)