miss fortune
not to be trusted
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Yeezus. Yeah, same boat here.
The whole experience gets you thinking all existentially about the nature of the self, doesn't it?
I figured that the best way around it is to realize (or perceive) that 'identity' is simply a construct, a useful tool to define what 'I' am because defining 'I' is pretty damn important in navigating the world. The question of 'me' and 'not me' gets tossed out the window; or, at least, it's permeable.
To the extent that the question's important, though, from an objective perspective, I'd say that the unmedicated me is the 'real me.' Am I a different person when I take a tab of LSD? How about getting an adrenaline rush? Being exhausted? And.. ... other examples that muck around with brain chemistry?
But it's a much better exercise to think of the medicated oneself as the 'real me.' People talk about 'the new me' when they've overcome some life hurdle, no? It's motivating. It's positive. It's not a delusion, either; it's just a matter of perspective.
I tend to look at things as a continuity as opposed to different little boxes, which is all fine and dandy when you're NOT trying to think about "is" and other such monolithic words
it kind of comes down to where lines are drawn or if they can be or should be in a way, I guess

there's the whole thing about how who you are hasn't changed... you still have the same types of stances on things and tend to like and dislike the same stuff (no matter what I've ingested, eating mushrooms hasn't seemed like a good idea... even when I tried to eat "special" mushrooms, which were just as hideous as one would imagine a fungus might be) and you still inhabit the same body, but then again your goals may change and you may behave differently
I guess quitting drinking had a larger impact on goals and behavior in general... the more broad, lifesweeping types of decisions. The growing lack of desire to go and socialize, the feel of not actually needing to rebuild a social structure and a tendency to withdraw for days on occasion because of uncertainty as to what to say, or just plain feeling no need to respond at the time. and a need to actually do something with my life to make up for doing all the wrong things. kind of like hitting an existential crisis and then just deciding to relax. not really depressed... it's odd because I actually feel happier this way than before, more relaxed in just accepting what life is in a way
and I'm rambling again there

and then add on medication and there's a focus to all of that... take what that gave and then add on the ability to actually focus
needless to say, I suck at communication