RiderOnTheStorm
E. N.. T... :P
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2008
- Messages
- 792
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
The ex and I got together the other day, yesterday to have a chat about serious stuff. I wanted to talk on the phone, but he's never been one to discuss serious matters over the phone. He had found out about my trip to Austria. He tells me, that If I go on this trip that things between us are over. I told him that I thought the break-up would have been solidified by me going there the last time for 6 weeks. D: He's holding onto the past. It's sad and I do empathize. More than I'll admit to myself, at times. We were sitting in his car, in my driveway when he began to cry and I asked why he was crying. His response, "the woman I have loved, who has been a huge part of my life for the past 9 years is leaving me." Mind you we have not been together for over a year now. I wanted to comfort him, but that's a nono, no matter how strong my desire to do so is.
It's odd. When things were coming to an end he began to display behaviors that were out of his character. Like, spending money as if was not an object. That was something that I had frequently complained about with him. He was wanting to take me places and do things that I had always said that I wanted to do, but he really didn't show any interest in these things before. It was like he sensed that I was going to leave and was taking desperate measures in hopes of turning things around. Was this a genuine change? I don't know, but I refused to see it as such, if it was. Perhaps, because after all that he had put me through I found his attempts to be too little too late? My mind was/had been made up for years that I no longer wanted to be with him, but I stayed. Why did I stay? P? Love, loyalty? Enneagram 6? Was I holding onto a memory?
I watched 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind' earlier this evening. That movie will always remind me of him. Our RL characters mimic those of Kate and Jim in this movie, very much so.
[youtube=axCOvXnvvhY]ESotSM[/youtube]
It's odd. When things were coming to an end he began to display behaviors that were out of his character. Like, spending money as if was not an object. That was something that I had frequently complained about with him. He was wanting to take me places and do things that I had always said that I wanted to do, but he really didn't show any interest in these things before. It was like he sensed that I was going to leave and was taking desperate measures in hopes of turning things around. Was this a genuine change? I don't know, but I refused to see it as such, if it was. Perhaps, because after all that he had put me through I found his attempts to be too little too late? My mind was/had been made up for years that I no longer wanted to be with him, but I stayed. Why did I stay? P? Love, loyalty? Enneagram 6? Was I holding onto a memory?
I watched 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind' earlier this evening. That movie will always remind me of him. Our RL characters mimic those of Kate and Jim in this movie, very much so.
[youtube=axCOvXnvvhY]ESotSM[/youtube]
