LucrativeSid
New member
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2007
- Messages
- 837
My apartment is a mess and it's been that way for a long time because I haven't even put in the slightest bit of effort to take care of my external world. I need to clean up and get clear about my current financial situation. However, I hate cleaning and I already know my financial situation is ugly. I've been unhappy and I haven't struggled against it. I've just lived in it.
Cigarettes, food, movies, books, and naps are great forms of escape. Sensory pleasure. Avoiding everything I don't like. Putting it all off for later. I've gotten plenty of sleep today but I still want to just lay down right now and put everything off again. I don't even want to write this.
The burden, even of small things, often seems so great that I think about just dying. I have no motivation. Nothing in the world seems important enough to get me going again.
Just an instant ago, I realized that I wasn't listening to music. And then I thought about it. I haven't been listening to music that much. I've been so messed up that I didn't even listen to music! Music has always been an extremely important part of my life. Everything is better with music.
The funny thing is that I realize that this is just temporary. With just a tiny bit of a effort and will, I could get back on top. It's not that hard at all! I've known this all along, but still didn't bother to try. Maybe I thought I needed a ton of time to introspect without distraction.
I know how to be happy. There's a thousand things I could do or think right now that would start moving me in a more positive direction. Once I get moving, my current mood and behavior will seem pretty silly.
I want to change everything in my life right now. It's time to live again. Uhhhhhhh, starting now. I'm going to go clean. (Looks like I got hit by a tornado at the moment.)
The sooner I stop acting like a apathetic loser with no drive, the sooner I can become successful and move on to becoming a life coach. I really feel like I have a calling in that kind of work.
Cigarettes, food, movies, books, and naps are great forms of escape. Sensory pleasure. Avoiding everything I don't like. Putting it all off for later. I've gotten plenty of sleep today but I still want to just lay down right now and put everything off again. I don't even want to write this.
The burden, even of small things, often seems so great that I think about just dying. I have no motivation. Nothing in the world seems important enough to get me going again.
Just an instant ago, I realized that I wasn't listening to music. And then I thought about it. I haven't been listening to music that much. I've been so messed up that I didn't even listen to music! Music has always been an extremely important part of my life. Everything is better with music.
The funny thing is that I realize that this is just temporary. With just a tiny bit of a effort and will, I could get back on top. It's not that hard at all! I've known this all along, but still didn't bother to try. Maybe I thought I needed a ton of time to introspect without distraction.
I know how to be happy. There's a thousand things I could do or think right now that would start moving me in a more positive direction. Once I get moving, my current mood and behavior will seem pretty silly.
I want to change everything in my life right now. It's time to live again. Uhhhhhhh, starting now. I'm going to go clean. (Looks like I got hit by a tornado at the moment.)
The sooner I stop acting like a apathetic loser with no drive, the sooner I can become successful and move on to becoming a life coach. I really feel like I have a calling in that kind of work.
