Random Movie Thoughts Thread

[SD45T-2]

The writer wrote a lot of the Fast and Furious films, the director directed the Jumanji films...

It'll be the mega-blockbuster hit movie, where they showed the world ...

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Die Hard, Commando and Predator (and therefore Alien too) all exist in the same cinematic universe, as all share references to the fictional Central American nation Val Verde. I’m probably missing some but those are the ones I remember that reference it.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

I’ve also seen a silly fan theory that Predator and Terminator are connected. The T800’s human appearance supposedly being based on Dutch’s appearance and abilities, as he was one of the few humans to take out a Predator alien

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Codename theory is stupid but I like to think James Bond exists in a multiverse, sort of like the different Spider-Mans. It’s a much better explanation for so many different Bonds having such different personalities and ages and yet sharing so many experiences. So for instance, Roger Moore Bond, who we see visit Tracy’s grave in one of his films, isn’t really the same guy as Lazenby Bond, yet in his own timeline he also married Tracy, fought Blofeld, etc. Lazenby Bond is not Connery Bond yet we see him looking at trinkets from Connery movies and reminiscing. He had the same or similar experiences to Connery Bond, but in his own timeline. I think they also reference that Dalton Bond was married, although they never explicitly mention Tracy in his films. With this theory, Craig Bond doesn’t really need to be viewed as a hard reset or reboot, rather just another part of that shared multiverse

 

[The Cat]

Codename theory is stupid but I like to think James Bond exists in a multiverse, sort of like the different Spider-Mans. It’s a much better explanation for so many different Bonds having such different personalities and ages and yet sharing so many experiences. So for instance, Roger Moore Bond, who we see visit Tracy’s grave in one of his films, isn’t really the same guy as Lazenby Bond, yet in his own timeline he also married Tracy, fought Blofeld, etc. Lazenby Bond is not Connery Bond yet we see him looking at trinkets from Connery movies and reminiscing. He had the same or similar experiences to Connery Bond, but in his own timeline. I think they also reference that Dalton Bond was married, although they never explicitly mention Tracy in his films. With this theory, Craig Bond doesn’t really need to be viewed as a hard reset or reboot, rather just another part of that shared multiverse

My personal theory...He's a ghost bound to her majesties secret service. Whenever one body dies and Q&co can't fix the damage. A ritual is performed and James Bond takes over the body of a military prisoner sentenced to death. Some bodies last longer than others. But yes, James Bond is a restless shade bound to serve the crown for either eternity, or till there is no longer a crown.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

My personal theory...He's a ghost bound to her majesties secret service. Whenever one body dies and Q&co can't fix the damage. A ritual is performed and James Bond takes over the body of a military prisoner sentenced to death. Some bodies last longer than others. But yes, James Bond is a restless shade bound to serve the crown for either eternity, or till there is no longer a crown.

Reminds me of the Soul Reaver games or Jason Voorhees

 

[The Cat]

Reminds me of the Soul Reaver games or Jason Voorhees

It works on the same levels too. It covers the bad guys who seem to die only to come back later. All of it just works. Ive never been a fan of the code name theory either. Its at once both too simple and too complicated. Sometimes...dead is a better fan theory.

 

[The Cat]

It also means the newest James Bond is a former Drug dealer who died at the end of Layer Cake.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

It also means the newest James Bond is a former Drug dealer who died at the end of Layer Cake.

And one of the former Bonds was reincarnated into a toy in the Pixar universe XD.

 

[The Cat]

And one of the former Bonds was reincarnated into a toy in the Pixar universe XD.

In Her Majesty's Cosmic Horror.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

There’s just no way that the majority of these male actors and celebs are achieving these types of physiques without gear. No one looks like Cena or most of the Hollywood Chrises without it. Silver age bodybuilders were the last generation to be all natty and they had to train hard for years, probably eating cleaner foods than anything currently available—and even then, most did not achieve the ridiculous physiques seen in golden age bodybuilding (first time steroids were widely available) and current male action heroes. You’re not going to look like Hemsworth in Thor or Momoa in Aquaman after just six months of overtraining and eating only chicken, rice and broccoli—unless you use PEDs. I say overtraining because they always talk about spending multiple hours in the gym every day for months. Overtraining is actually counterproductive and slows gains, unless you’re already taking PEDs

It’s such a joke what an open secret it is. It’s given many young men a warped idea and exacerbated a dysmorphia epidemic. To say nothing of the young women who fetishize that look without realizing what guys have to put their bodies through to achieve it.

 

[The Cat]

There’s just no way that the majority of these male actors and celebs are achieving these types of physiques without gear. No one looks like Cena or most of the Hollywood Chrises without it. Silver age bodybuilders were the last generation to be all natty and they had to train hard for years, probably eating cleaner foods than anything currently available—and even then, most did not achieve the ridiculous physiques seen in golden age bodybuilding (first time steroids were widely available) and current male action heroes. You’re not going to look like Hemsworth in Thor or Momoa in Aquaman after just six months of overtraining and eating only chicken, rice and broccoli—unless you use PEDs. I say overtraining because they always talk about spending multiple hours in the gym every day for months. Overtraining is actually counterproductive and slows gains, unless you’re already taking PEDs

It’s such a joke what an open secret it is. It’s given many young men a warped idea and exacerbated a dysmorphia epidemic. To say nothing of the young women who fetishize that look without realizing what guys have to put their bodies through to achieve it.

I've come to realize that part of the game is figuring out ways to get away with it. You are expected to do it. You are equally as expected to not get caught doing it, and if you do get caught, its all on you, no one else knows you and you best not say shit. Its a weirdly bizzare element of cloak and dagger that's managed to slip into the culture. Needful things man. Needful people are always in the market for something, even if its a lie.

 

[Totenkindly]

So I was rewatching Jackson's "Hobbit" film trilogy (I only got up to the death of Smaug, which starts out the third film).

It's kind of a frustrating watch, because there's some great stuff + some stupid stuff. I'd always be curious too, to see which parts came from the Guillermo del Toro script(s).

Some of the casting was just impeccable, honestly (Thranduil, Bilbo, Gandalf, Thorin, some of the dwarves -- Dwalin is actually Graham McTavish, who has the same kind of presence in HotD when he's been on it). Others I was indifferent to. I wish Beorn (in human form) had been more compelling.

There are moments in these films that are just pitch-perfect, although Jackson had setup for some. For example, the Unexpected Party at Bilbo's house -- and I will say too that they managed to set the lyrics to new music that actually makes sense and is evocative. Or the Riddle Game with Gollum. (I actually could feel bad for Smeagol and understand why Bilbo felt pity for him.) Or when Bilbo and Smaug first meet -- that scene (before it drags on too long because Smaug likes to talk too much) is absolutely terrifying.

I was indifferent on the Kili / Tauriel love thing. I mean, Kili is cute, and there are far worse things in the film that obsessing over this newly introduced cross-kin love affair.

While we know Gandalf and the White Council stormed Dol Guldur to drive out the Necromancer (aka newly reforming Sauron), most of this version is shite. One thing that was right was when Gandalf and Sauron face each other, it actually did feel like force of power meeting force of power versus two guys casting magical spells or beating on each other with sticks. I haven't watched conclusion of this sorry chapter in the third film yet, but it's one of those things where Jackson's fleshing out the scene is worse than imagination, it feels rather lacking because he has trouble with non-literal presentation. (Hence, all the CGI versus suggestive film making.) The whole storm giants thing shortly before the company is captured by goblins was way too much and almost ridiculous in the various catastrophes they almost caused to the party -- it was just an off-hand comment by Tolkien, generally, in the text, and could have easily been excised or not mentioned. And he makes them literal stone monsters.

We also get Legolas behaving like a god with some of the crazy shit he's doing in these films -- and I know I haven't even gotten back to the craziest part at the end of Film 3 where he runs up the debris of a collapsing tower -- but geez. He's Thranduil's son, sure, but he's not a superhero.

Which leads to probably the biggest complaint in that Jackson clearly padded out the story to get three films out of it. He added the whole Azog and Bolg bit as ongoing villains to give a clear villain to the unfolding story, and this gave additional material. Sequences that were not fraught with a lot of detail in the book or were mostly uneventful have instead been "spiced up" to provide additional action pieces (the escape from the Great Goblin, the barrel ride from the Elf King's dungeons, the whole fight between the dwarves and Smaug before the dragon flies to Laketown, the inclusion of the Dol Guldur bit which had way too much time spent on it, etc.) I understand why maybe he wanted to amp up conflict between Smaug and the dwarves -- Tolkien kind of sidestepped it all, the dwarves want to kill Smaug and have spent all of this effort but then never actually fight Smaug, who is killed when he attacks Laketown. But it honestly feels like a lot of needless material was added in order to make three films rather than two.

So some of it is really decent, some of it is average, and some of it is eye-rolling. At least Martin Freeman and Richard Armitage and Lee Pace are great.

 

[The Cat]

I like in the book how the stone giants felt distant. Dark blurs in the distant driving rain. Like two Florida Boys at the beach during a hurricane.

 

[Totenkindly]

I like in the book how the stone giants felt distant. Dark blurs in the distant driving rain. Like two Florida Boys at the beach during a hurricane.

Yeah, it's really just a distant aside that Tolkien threw in to add more mystery to the world -- or some kind of sense everything was bigger than one could be aware of, esp to a poor hobbit who never left Hobbiton. Because they are so big and crazy that there's no way small people could survive being up close. They are otherwise completely unimportant to the story and could easily be cut.

Instead Jackson took as license to make it an action sequence for how many millions of CGI dollars, trashing the actual path through the Misty Mountains (what happens in the future??) and to have a ridiculous outcome when they should have all just been immediately dead.

 

[The Cat]

Yeah, it's really just a distant aside that Tolkien threw in to add more mystery to the world -- or some kind of sense everything was bigger than one could be aware of, esp to a poor hobbit who never left Hobbiton. Because they are so big and crazy that there's no way small people could survive being up close. They are otherwise completely unimportant to the story and could easily be cut.

Instead Jackson took as license to make it an action sequence for how many millions of CGI dollars, trashing the actual path through the Misty Mountains (what happens in the future??) and to have a ridiculous outcome when they should have all just been immediately dead.

Yeah. The box office bloat of cgi needs to stop. If they just want to kill some time, I wish they'd go back to having an out of the blue musical number where some classy dame just starts singing something mildly jazzy.

 

[Totenkindly]

Oh, I'll say the White Council stuff in Rivendell is okay. It's kind of funny that Galadriel shows up -- by a Seeming or something? (I don't know if she can do that in the book -- but that last moment with Gandalf occurs and then she abruptly vanishes). I like that Galadriel and Olorin have always been on a similar wavelength and closer than the other members. It's kind of amusing that Saruman shows up and just basically gaslights everyone, dismissing everyone's opinion -- is he really that much of a dick, or is he covering up that he's actually been starting to look for the Ring and/or dabbling in stuff he shouldn't have?

Hugo Weaving is actually more measured as Elrond, versus being a complete psychopath like he was at times in LotR.

But there's other cute stuff that I'm not sure how I feel. Like the dwarves basically cutting up Rivendell like frat boys, leaving the elves seeming a bit put off. Or elves being vegetarians. (Are they, really? Or were they just trolling the dwarves?) Another snide joke about how elf men look like women. That's something I noticed later, in the subtitles -- the orcs keep calling Tauriel an "elf-woman" rather than just an elf. Apparently they can tell the difference. But would they really have set her out like that? They don't care at all whether the elf is a woman or a man -- they DESPISE all elves and immediately would kill them. It just seemed funny that they would bother with repeatedly referring to her as her gender, but elf men are just "elves".

Oh, I also meant to say I really dislike how they made Radagast into the comic relief of the series. He's a freaking Maiar, even if not as powerful as Curumo or Olorin. He's just basically an ISFP druid archetype guy who ends up drifting away from the fights of the humanoid peoples of Middle Earth. He looks like a dork, acts like an imbecile, and they just play him for laughs all the time. Eh.

(I did like when Gandalf briefly mentions the blue wizards and "how no one remembers their names anymore" because in Tolkien lore that's how it was for a long time, and they don't factor into any of the stories and seem to have disappeared -- it is alluded that maybe Saruman tricked and killed them at some point, although you would think that would have some repercussions from Valar. But they did actually have use names -- Alatar and Pallandro.)

 

[The Cat]

Oh, I'll say the White Council stuff in Rivendell is okay. It's kind of funny that Galadriel shows up -- by a Seeming or something? (I don't know if she can do that in the book -- but that last moment with Gandalf occurs and then she abruptly vanishes). I like that Galadriel and Olorin have always been on a similar wavelength and closer. It's kind of amusing that Saruman shows up and just basically gaslights everyone, dismissing everyone's opinion -- is he really that much of a dick, or is he covering up that he's actually been starting to look for the Ring and/or dabbling in stuff he shouldn't have?

Hugo Weaving is actually more measured as Elrond, versus being a complete psychopath like he was at times in LotR.

But there's other cute stuff that I'm not sure how I feel. Like the dwarves basically cutting up Rivendell like frat boys, leaving the elves seeming a bit put off. Or elves being vegetarians. (Are they, really? Or were they just trolling the dwarves?) Another snide joke about how elf men look like women. That's something I noticed later, in the subtitles -- the orcs keep calling Tauriel an "elf-woman" rather than just an elf. Apparently they can tell the difference. But would they really have set her out like that? They don't care at all whether the elf is a woman or a man -- they DESPISE all elves and immediately would kill them. It just seemed funny that they would bother with repeatedly referring to her as her gender, but elf men are just "elves".

What I dont care for about the Jackson Effect on Elves...he removed their mirthy merry chaos. He made them forest Vulcans. Elves should be full of merry piss and sweet vinegar, they're supposed to be good nature mischievous mingled with melancholy The literal opposite of orcs.

 

[Totenkindly]

What I dont care for about the Jackson Effect on Elves...he removed their mirthy merry chaos. He made them forest Vulcans. Elves should be full of merry piss and sweet vinegar, they're supposed to be good nature mischievous mingled with melancholy The literal opposite of orcs.

We don't see as much of that in Jackson's version, but yeah -- there's the scene of merriment for example in Mirkwood (that the dwarves stumble into) and of course Thranduil has infamous wine cellars. And then there's other lavish moments as well with high elves. I think maybe a lot of it can pass by because it's such a somber period of the time line -- the rise of Sauron, the destruction of middle Earth potentially, and then the passing of the Third Age where all the elves leave.

I like the moments when they are given some inherent power (that isn't just D&D spellcasting) -- the elves actually are very spiritually strong and powerful, and this is why Galadriel (one of the oldest Noldor in Middle earth, she's very very old, she was Feanor's -- the smith of the Silmarillions -- niece) is on par with Gandalf despite him essentially being an angel cloaked in flesh. Halflings and humans and dwarves can only watch in amazement when the high elf inner light springs forth.

 

[The Cat]

We don't see as much of that in Jackson's version, but yeah -- there's the scene of merriment for example in Mirkwood (that the dwarves stumble into) and of course Thranduil has infamous wine cellars. And then there's other lavish moments as well with high elves. I think maybe a lot of it can pass by because it's such a somber period of the time line -- the rise of Sauron, the destruction of middle Earth potentially, and then the passing of the Third Age where all the elves leave.

I like the moments when they are given some inherent power (that isn't just D&D spellcasting) -- the elves actually are very spiritually strong and powerful, and this is why Galadriel (one of the oldest Noldor in Middle earth, she's very very old, she was Feanor's -- the smith of the Silmarillions -- niece) is on par with Gandalf despite him essentially being an angel cloaked in flesh. Halflings and humans and dwarves can only watch in amazement when the high elf inner light springs forth.

I like how the elves went around waking up the trees when they first woke to themselves.... I have always wanted to know where the ent wives went. Though knowing would ruin it.