Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
Prime number blogs will from now and forever be what's going on in my life. Like a journal, rather than talking about theories or idea's I'll speak purely of events that've happened recently. The number chosen has meaning, but only I understand that meaning. Basically how I feel about that number.
Relationship issues.
There's Angelique. She's 19, short, not sure what race [don't care either]. She's amusing and she loves psychology and is currently borrowing my encyclopedia of serial killers.
I meet her at the coffee shop when she had a boyfriend and I talked to her for a bit. But noticed the SO, so I didn't get too far into it. This was 3 months ago. I didn't bother with her too much, but eventually I see her up there another day without him, and 3 days in a row, he's gone. Hmm.... I wanted confermation, but decided I didn't need any.
I talked to her, showed her how to roll a cigarette properly and made her an origami cube, and give her my myspace in my traditional way [exchange my info for theirs and don't bother to add them, because them adding me is a sign of interest]. So, all the calculative shit is out of the way, thank god. I hate that part of relationship's [and that most people claim they don't do it, when everyone does to an extent].
Now I'm just being myself with nothing left to plot out or calculate. I give her my number [which simply goes against any form of plan I would ever make. I would wait for her to ask me for it if I was planning]. But she doesn't reply, so I don't bother sending any new messages and figure it's a lost cost and I should move on. Anything I think to say will make it worse.
I see her at the coffee shop again and she tries to get me to sit with her, but I was busy doing something so I say hi and let her know I'm busy with friends [Had I been planning this, this is exactly what I would've done btw].
Eventually I sit down and talk. She has this skeleton sucker. She offer's to give me one, so I say why not. I don't know what we talked about, but most of what I said were jokes. She ended up leaving 20 minutes later than she was supposed to because she was hanging out with me. She goes to get me this weird skeleton sucker from her car and I steal these goggles from her car. She says I can't steal them, but I say I can because I'll give them back next time I see her.
I log on to myspace and there's a comment from her with her phone number saying to text her sometime. But I don't have text so I call the next day when I'm free. We bullshit for a while but we're both busy. Another day I call her and she can't talk at the moment but calls me back and we meet up and hang out in her car talking about things for a while.
I had told her before hand that I had a surprize for her, but I wasn't going to say what it was. When we get there I show her the serial killer book because I had saw in one of her blogs on myspace she said she was interested in them. Eventually she gives me a ride to the coffee shop and we kiss after I'm dropped off.
This was 3 days ago. The messages in my inbox have been read with no response. I called her once and she didn't answer nor did she call back. I don't know if she's avoiding me or what's going on, just that I want to call her and probably shouldn't yet. I called her yesterday so I can't call today.
Which reminds me. Things work so much better when I plan them out. If I know what's going on I don't do stupid things, now I have to reverse engineer the situation.
Then there's the emotional aspect of it all. I like her and keep trying NOT to get attached. I really don't want to feel anything, but I keep doing it anyway. Last time I had feelling's for a girl it went straight to hell, I got depressed, and tried to kill myself. Hence I'm trying to be very distant but I don't want to fuck things up either. Just want to make sure it's going to work out before I dive in.
The opposition....haha.
There's this kid TJ who yells at me everytime I see him. I'm certain it's because I'm a variable in his world of constants. He doesn't know what I'll do nor how to control me and doesn't like a world that's out of his reach. I'm guessing this because I see him trying to control everything around him that's not already under some form of control. He seem's to get made whenever something is outside his control or comprehention. He's an ESTJ with very little developement and social skills.
Funny, he's called TJ.
So the other day he threatens to beat me up, but I know that jumping into he threat with boast wont do much. He simply wants to find a way to control me, so I say something I know he's not expecting that's entirely true as well. I tell him that it doesn't matter how hard he hits me, or how clever the insult, I will not be bullied and I will stand my ground. I mention I was there first and that there's nothing he can do to get me to leave willingly. I let him know that physical pain isn't an obstacle and he's incapable of giving me mental pain because I don't care what he thinks.
He still persists to make threats, he says he's going to snack my neck. I tell him he's unoriginal and could use a little more creativity. I say he should try throwing more adjectives and a very adverbs to spice up his threat a little more. Maybe go off on a limb a little more, but simply saying "I'm going to snack you neck." she's that he's a boring bland person. Shortly after I ask if he wears tighty whitey's. He gets more angry, slams his fist on the table and screams how he's not joking and I'm not funny. I respond "I guess that answer's that question. Hanes?" At this point he makes more simple straightfoward uncreative threats, I say "Normally I get a pen and paper out when someone makes threats in case they say something interesting. But there's no need here." He makes more threats.
I say "You keep making threat after threat but you don't follow through with any of them. Is it because were in a public area and you don't want to go to jail for hate crimes after i say you beat me because I was black? Is it because you don't think you can take me? Maybe it's because I'm not at all afraid of you? Why are you still talking, you're not winning the verbal battle."
Eventually he get's tired of it all and storms off outside. He's wandering in circles. The mutual friends me and him have are semi-pissed at me but more angry at him. I explain that I don't back down to bullies and I'm never appreciated it when someone hates me for being different.
Turns out he's been drinking too many energy drinks and needed to go tot he hospital. So when he comes back I don't bother talking to him. But I don't leave the table either since I was there first, that's his problem if he wants me to leave.
I've been trying to find a better more effecient way of illistrating that I will not be bullied without as much drama.
Relationship issues.
There's Angelique. She's 19, short, not sure what race [don't care either]. She's amusing and she loves psychology and is currently borrowing my encyclopedia of serial killers.
I meet her at the coffee shop when she had a boyfriend and I talked to her for a bit. But noticed the SO, so I didn't get too far into it. This was 3 months ago. I didn't bother with her too much, but eventually I see her up there another day without him, and 3 days in a row, he's gone. Hmm.... I wanted confermation, but decided I didn't need any.
I talked to her, showed her how to roll a cigarette properly and made her an origami cube, and give her my myspace in my traditional way [exchange my info for theirs and don't bother to add them, because them adding me is a sign of interest]. So, all the calculative shit is out of the way, thank god. I hate that part of relationship's [and that most people claim they don't do it, when everyone does to an extent].
Now I'm just being myself with nothing left to plot out or calculate. I give her my number [which simply goes against any form of plan I would ever make. I would wait for her to ask me for it if I was planning]. But she doesn't reply, so I don't bother sending any new messages and figure it's a lost cost and I should move on. Anything I think to say will make it worse.
I see her at the coffee shop again and she tries to get me to sit with her, but I was busy doing something so I say hi and let her know I'm busy with friends [Had I been planning this, this is exactly what I would've done btw].
Eventually I sit down and talk. She has this skeleton sucker. She offer's to give me one, so I say why not. I don't know what we talked about, but most of what I said were jokes. She ended up leaving 20 minutes later than she was supposed to because she was hanging out with me. She goes to get me this weird skeleton sucker from her car and I steal these goggles from her car. She says I can't steal them, but I say I can because I'll give them back next time I see her.
I log on to myspace and there's a comment from her with her phone number saying to text her sometime. But I don't have text so I call the next day when I'm free. We bullshit for a while but we're both busy. Another day I call her and she can't talk at the moment but calls me back and we meet up and hang out in her car talking about things for a while.
I had told her before hand that I had a surprize for her, but I wasn't going to say what it was. When we get there I show her the serial killer book because I had saw in one of her blogs on myspace she said she was interested in them. Eventually she gives me a ride to the coffee shop and we kiss after I'm dropped off.
This was 3 days ago. The messages in my inbox have been read with no response. I called her once and she didn't answer nor did she call back. I don't know if she's avoiding me or what's going on, just that I want to call her and probably shouldn't yet. I called her yesterday so I can't call today.
Which reminds me. Things work so much better when I plan them out. If I know what's going on I don't do stupid things, now I have to reverse engineer the situation.
Then there's the emotional aspect of it all. I like her and keep trying NOT to get attached. I really don't want to feel anything, but I keep doing it anyway. Last time I had feelling's for a girl it went straight to hell, I got depressed, and tried to kill myself. Hence I'm trying to be very distant but I don't want to fuck things up either. Just want to make sure it's going to work out before I dive in.
The opposition....haha.
There's this kid TJ who yells at me everytime I see him. I'm certain it's because I'm a variable in his world of constants. He doesn't know what I'll do nor how to control me and doesn't like a world that's out of his reach. I'm guessing this because I see him trying to control everything around him that's not already under some form of control. He seem's to get made whenever something is outside his control or comprehention. He's an ESTJ with very little developement and social skills.
Funny, he's called TJ.
So the other day he threatens to beat me up, but I know that jumping into he threat with boast wont do much. He simply wants to find a way to control me, so I say something I know he's not expecting that's entirely true as well. I tell him that it doesn't matter how hard he hits me, or how clever the insult, I will not be bullied and I will stand my ground. I mention I was there first and that there's nothing he can do to get me to leave willingly. I let him know that physical pain isn't an obstacle and he's incapable of giving me mental pain because I don't care what he thinks.
He still persists to make threats, he says he's going to snack my neck. I tell him he's unoriginal and could use a little more creativity. I say he should try throwing more adjectives and a very adverbs to spice up his threat a little more. Maybe go off on a limb a little more, but simply saying "I'm going to snack you neck." she's that he's a boring bland person. Shortly after I ask if he wears tighty whitey's. He gets more angry, slams his fist on the table and screams how he's not joking and I'm not funny. I respond "I guess that answer's that question. Hanes?" At this point he makes more simple straightfoward uncreative threats, I say "Normally I get a pen and paper out when someone makes threats in case they say something interesting. But there's no need here." He makes more threats.
I say "You keep making threat after threat but you don't follow through with any of them. Is it because were in a public area and you don't want to go to jail for hate crimes after i say you beat me because I was black? Is it because you don't think you can take me? Maybe it's because I'm not at all afraid of you? Why are you still talking, you're not winning the verbal battle."
Eventually he get's tired of it all and storms off outside. He's wandering in circles. The mutual friends me and him have are semi-pissed at me but more angry at him. I explain that I don't back down to bullies and I'm never appreciated it when someone hates me for being different.
Turns out he's been drinking too many energy drinks and needed to go tot he hospital. So when he comes back I don't bother talking to him. But I don't leave the table either since I was there first, that's his problem if he wants me to leave.
I've been trying to find a better more effecient way of illistrating that I will not be bullied without as much drama.
