Polarity

[Verfremdungseffekt]

Here's a breakthrough. Instead of feeling perpetually guilty and ashamed of the imposition I put on others, how about appreciating what others do for me.

 

[INTJMom]

There you go! That's a great idea.

You remind me of my INFP sister who hates taking "charity" from anyone and despises anything she thinks is "pity". Consequently, she also is extremely reluctant to ask for any kind of help except in extreme circumstances.

Frankly, I feel sorry for her because I think she's a little out of balance. I think she deprives her friends and family of the opportunity of being a blessing to her and being involved in her life in a practical way.

So I see what you're saying, and I think that your paradigm shift is a healthy one. But I mentioned what I did about my sister because I wouldn't be surprised at all if some of your previous point of view was actually Type-driven, and therefore you came by it honestly. But good for you for taking a more balanced approach.