1) Attachments on the site does not work, can you transcribe those 2 attachments?
2) Did you take dimensional personalities test as well? MBTI Test - Dimensional Personalities
Ok, but why does that make you drawn to calm and understanding people? Is it because they would put up with your anger and impulsivity?
Maybe. I also just feel safe around them.
(Give an example to annoying/unfunny comment)
As an example, Iâ€™ve always been very worked up when I used to see people at school disrespecting teachers. They try to argue back and joke about them, but theyâ€™re never funny. Whenever they would get in trouble in front of everyone, I would get so much second-hand embarrassment.
Any specific reason you felt sorry for them? Why did you get second hand embarresment?
Probably because Iâ€™m just imagining myself in that situation or what it would be like if it was me in that case, but I really donâ€™t know.
(Define deep conversation)
I love people who can talk about meanings, views on life, etc. Although, I feel uncomfortable when the conversation changes to a more emotional topic.
How are you not humble? Do you brag or show off?
If someone is better at something than me, I get really frustrated and angry and jealous. I try to compete over the smallest things.
How do you compete? Do you try to put them down or try to genuinely become better or exaggerate your skills to look better?
Honestly, a lot of it is the first one. A little bit of the second, mostly the first.
This projection sounds like Se. Do you do tit-for-tat kind of projection?
Eh I guess. If I feel bad about myself, i will starting hurting my sibling with words. Sometimes, the only thing that helps me relieve anger and negativity in myself is by saying these things to my sibling and saying hurtful things. People tell me I was never like this, and I know I havenâ€™t been, but my sibling insists itâ€™s been my whole life. A LOT of it has had to do with circumstances in my life and certain things that have happened, which makes it harder to type myself, even if Iâ€™m trying to get help. (Sorry for the very unnecessary answer)
Do you mean until you come on top?
Yeah, thatâ€™s what I mean. Just when people donâ€™t understand the point Iâ€™m trying to make, I will fight wayyy too hard to get that point proven and sometimes it gets really unhealthy and harmful.
Give an example when you've been taken advantage of
I used to have a very hard time saying â€œnoâ€ to people, so I said yes to everything and even when I was tired I did things that others wanted me to do for them. They took advantage of me being nice, now Iâ€™m not even as nice as a I used to be and Iâ€™m not even that helpful.
What made it hard for you to say no? How do you choose to help or not now?
Give an example please
I honestly donâ€™t know. Maybe I wanted them to like me, or didnâ€™t want to be mean to anyone, so I always said yes. Now, I only help if itâ€™s really needed, but I hate it because now I seem pretty selfish and I want to change that. It seems like sometimes Iâ€™d want to help others now if thereâ€™s something in it for me, not all the time obviously, but it has happened.
Still, I still want to be a more helpful person again.
Made a few comments, one was a very subtle way to tell the person I was insecure about me body: â€œYouâ€™re so skinny, I wish I was like thatâ€ I didnâ€™t have the intention of being hurtful, but it ended up being that way to the other person. I always used to get body-shamed for how skinny I was, and now that I feel like Iâ€™ve gained weight, that it doesnâ€™t look good on me.
Did you mean to say you envied them? What did you say when they got offended? If you are not happy with how your body looks, what are you doing about it now?
I did envy them. Although when they got offended I donâ€™t remember what I said. And yes, since Iâ€™m not happy with my body, Iâ€™m trying to keep these mean comments inside and not say them to others.
Are you physically aggressive or just verbal? Do you cry often when you feel bad or ashamed?
Verbal. I didnâ€™t use to cry about it, but recently I have and have been pretty stressed.