Part 2

[INFtha14]

What does ‘The American Dream’ mean to you? Come back to this one...
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I'd hope I could be a joyful simpleton but a wise one lol. Not a mindlessly joyful one yuck!

If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give? Let it go... be in the present... truly seek to know yourself. Remove the barriers that life tends to put in your way to truly knowing yourself. In america here it seems to pray on materialism, wealth, numbing ourselves out on yucky food and not worth watching entertainment on mainstream sources. Dig deep inside. Remove those barriers, fear to know the truth of life. Know your parents and why they are the way they are. Believe it or not when you do that, you start seeing why some things drive you mad. It's not the other person it's a reaction you've been having as a result of an association with your parents. Remember this, mainstream media manipulates our fears, our instinctual responses to our parents, our wanting a quick fix. They manipulate it cause they are self serving. You have to be your own advocate for what you truly need on deep soulful level.
What is the most desirable trait another person can possess? Integrity... willing to truly look at themselves and move away the barriers. They are not biased. . They can stand on the their own judgement and not be affected by social expectation. Think for themselves...
What are you most grateful for? Family, what I've been through. May be the "hard way" like my counselor told me but I'm glad for it. It to me is the best way for true spiritual/self growth. It challenges me to face my fears and triggers.
Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong? Not if it's from a rich person lol. They have enough, they can survive (hehe).
What do you want most? Happiness, true happiness not this americanized surface happiness that gets shoved in our face. Psychological happiness deep at the heart.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things I suppose. Can't say it worried me when I do something wrong but what's important is what one takes away from that. A lesson learned.
What has life taught you recently? To let go, to have some faith in oneself. To love myself enough to let it go...
What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world? How superficial we are. How greedy the government is. Our seperatedness. Black, white, democrat, republican, jewish, christian, atheist etc. I don't care. This is why war starts. We see our selves as seperate when were all one human race on this earth. It's so silly in the big picture of things.
Where do you find inspiration? People who have rised above adversity. Who found it in themselves to say "yes I can". Adriana slutzky who does some amazing sculpture here in rochester,ny inspires me. She is beautiful from the inside of herself where it matters.
Can you describe your life in a six word sentence? One hell of a challenge. (that I'm game for ).
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? pride and ego lol.
What impact do you want to leave on the world? Whatever it is I'm here to do. I think everyday I'm making that impact just by being alive and being conscious/aware of my responsibilty in the choices I make. In being responsible for my deep true happiness and taking charge of it's attainment. I want to be a living example of what we need in this world. We all have that capacity and do.

What is the most defining moment of your life thus far? Based on the past couple weeks, right now. I feel like I'm starting to finally understand myself and who I truly am.
In the haste of your daily life, what are you not seeing? I don't see the present, the support I have around me but also within me. That I have the answers to any concerns I have.
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? We just haven't faced it or just haven't even realized we are doing it to begin with.
What lifts your spirits when life gets you down? Inspiration, family. Like right now i'm starting to see a thread of hope in my life come back. I have the power to change my life to the way I want and need it to be for my overall happiness.
Have you ever regretted something you did not say or do? Have to think about that one...
Has your greatest fear ever come true? Well I'm still here... . Dying before I'd feel ready/fulfilled my purpose/not seeing loved ones grown up, would be my greatest fear.
Why do we think of others the most when they’re gone? Probably like it's said in the song... "don't know what you got".
What is your most beloved childhood memory? Hmm... have to think alittle deeper here.
Is it more important to love or be loved? A mix of both.
If it all came back around to you, would it help you or hurt you? I believe it would help me .
If you had the chance to go back in time and change one thing would you do it? Nope.
If a doctor gave you five years to live, what would you try to accomplish? I'd go fullspeed ahead then... with just living life and challenging myself. Setting an example... etc.
What is the difference between falling in love and being in love? ??? Maybe that falling in love is the beginning which could be infatuation which really is not the real deal. Alot of the time it's desperation but not all the time. Sometimes it's because of unresolved issues of fear of seperation with parents but also not truly knowing ourselves. Based on my own personal experience with this heh.
Who do you think stands between you and happiness? Fear...
What is the difference between innocence and ignorance? I don't think innocence is a bad thing per se. It's ignorance that is not good. Ignorance is kind of like unconsciousness, unawareness of our control in situations to affect the outcome for good and not bad or not even knowing how we have the power to change situations for the better. Innocence I think sometimes might be mistaken for naive but I think it's more just having hope despite hard times. Having a vision... of what one aspires towards.
What is the simplest truth you can express in words? Just live your life?
What gives your life meaning? Alot .
Can there be happiness without sadness? Pleasure without pain? Peace without war?
I think without those opposites we would take for granted peace, happiness, success etc. We'd be missing something real and deep inside ourselves.

What’s the one thing you’d like others to remember about you at the end of your life?
Perhaps my story of what I've been through to maybe serve as a guide of what we need to do more. To think for ourselves, to stand up, to know when someone is trying to pull the wool over our eyes (manipulate in order to serve their own needs). To look deeper, seek the harder path, not the one of least resistance.
Is there such a thing as perfect? Perfectly imperfect .
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Past few years... quite abit.
What does it mean to be human? I'll come back to this one. Not sure...
If you looked into the heart of your enemy, what do you think you would find that is different from what is in your own heart?
What do you love most about yourself?
Where would you most like to go and why? Tibet to learn from the Buddhists monks. To meditate in such a sacred land, to feel it. To see it for myself. To grow from it. Learn about their culture/ways first hand.
Is it more important to do what you love or to love what you are doing? ...
What do you imagine yourself doing ten years from now?

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(I'll get back to these. Need to take a thinking break

What small act of kindness were you once shown that you will never forget?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Do you own your things or do your things own you? I would hope that's I'd own the things within my possession not the other way around. Just material... can't take it with you.
Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones? I don't know... but if I had old ones I'd have alot ot think about and be happy about . But still... don't know. If I couldn't create more memories. Good as dead sadly .
How do you deal with someone in a position of power who wants you to fail? Just don't give my power away. Harder then it took to write that sentence hehe.
What do you have that you cannot live without? Good supportive people who I aspire towards in my own personal growth .
When you close your eyes what do you see? ()
What sustains you on a daily basis? Striving towards self exploration even if it's painful, it's a good thing .
What are your top five personal values? (That's a biggy. Got to think over this one abit)

 

[INFtha14]

What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years? A trip to Hershey, pennsylvania .
How many hours of television do you watch in a week? Not much unless it's a funny sitcom here and there. A month? A year? Same.
What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now? Fear and me.
What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t? Life xD.
What do you like most about your job? The Children. What do you dislike most about your job? How tough it can be sometimes dealing with them when they get loud/rowdy/not listening one bit.
What’s something new you recently learned about yourself? A sliver of hope of seeing what I've really been doing these past few years. I've been trying to fool myself that the relationship between my mother and I was not as seperated as it is by hopping around "career searching". Just need to make the move to "move" out.
In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother? You'd have to see it for yourself, lol.
What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year? Right now.
What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months? Move on my own. Develop some true faith in myself and say "YES!" to my happiness and no more of these games.
What makes you feel secure? Having a real faith in myself.
What is your favorite sound?... silence and feeling a true deep sense of pleasantness with life.
What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend? Supportive, Loyal, and non-controlling/non- manipulative.
What simple gesture have you recently witnessed that renewed your hope in humanity? Tough kid self directing themselves and accepting what they did wrong... on their own without any reminding.
What is your favorite smell? Anything soothing/aromatherapy.
What recent memory makes you smile the most? Seeing my grandpa .
In one word, how would you describe your childhood? Pleasant .
What celebrities do you admire? Demi lavato (spelling)? Why? She survived some deep trial and has come back shining brightly. She's real.
What is the number one motivator in your life right now? True Freedom, Happiness.
What music do you listen to to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down? Positive, uplifting music (amy steinberg).
If I gave you $1000 and told you that you had to spend it today, what would you buy? I don't know. kind of frugal.
What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?... hold on, my brain is slow right now lol.
What is your biggest pet peeve? Controlling and manipulative people. Don't need it nor put up with it.
Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Mother xD.
What is your biggest phobia? The unfulfilled life/not ready to die/dying a slow painful death? Being a "permenant" vegetable while able to think but not able to share it/express love for my loved ones.
What are some recent compliments you’ve received? That I looked pretteh and that they loved my shirt xD.
How many friends do you have in real life that you talk to regularly? 5-6 peeps.
How much money per month is enough for you to live comfortably? Me individually would be 1400-16000ish if I could find a roommate. I could make it work. Not after being "externally" rich. Internally rich is where it's at homeh .
When was your first impression of someone totally wrong? ??
How many hours a week do you spend online? Probably quite abit xD. Usually listening to music though or journaling ).
What do you love to do? Think... reflect. Learn, be challenged.
What specific character trait do you want to be known for? Strength of will but also being kind.
Are you more like your mom or your dad? In what way? I think a fair mix. Dad... his accepting open nature and love (cough "Obsession") of music xD. Mom = her stubbornness/strength. xD
What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader? True fairness.
What bad habits do you want to break? dependency (on my way and doing really well actually :-D).
What is your favorite place on Earth? That place where you feel ok with yourself, where you've been, what happened to you, and now feeling a shimmer of real acceptance with oneself and that to start growing little by little.
What do you love to practice? ???
What questions do you often ask yourself? Stuff related to self growth perhaps. I can be pretty silleh too.

 

[INFtha14]

What are you an expert at? Being understanding of the natural nature of things and people . Though it's hard when it's your parents. So that takes some work, getting there.
How would an extra $1000 a month change your life? meh...
What things in life should always be free? Music!, People to congregate and meet together.
What is your favorite time of the year? So far it's still summer.
What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? Not sure precisely . Sure it's there just not sure atm.
What is the most recent dream you remember having while sleeping?
What confuses you? Life... xD
In what way are you your own worst enemy? Succuming to fear of seperation, fear in general.
When did you not speak up when you should have? not sure lol.
What is your favorite quote? Hold on that one. Got to find one...
What is your favorite fictional story? (novel, movie, fairytale, etc.) LOTR!!!
Where or who do you turn to when you need good advice? Good sensible people.
What artistic medium do you use to express yourself? Writing... music as in listening to it.
Who or what is the greatest enemy of mankind? Hmm... narrow mindedness/spiritual lazyness. Inauthenticity.
What’s something you wish you had done earlier in life? Doing pretty good...
What is the closest you have ever come to fearing for your life? being hit 3 weeks ago T Bone style.
How do you deal with isolation and loneliness? Working on it.
What do you know well enough to teach to others? To just let others live their own way?
What’s a quick decision you once made that changed your life? To just make a move or it would be made for me = latter being not what I wanted, what they wanted.
What have you lost interest in recently? Putting on a face... acting like I'm something I'm not. Lost interest in putting up with bs/manipulation tactics lol.
What makes life easier? Just letting go and knowing yourself.
What was the last thing you furiously argued about with someone? this week... . Broke this camel's back (camel being me).
What job would you never do no matter how much it paid? Anything that is serving inhumane interests. That has a solely money making motive.
What is the number one solution to healing the world? who know... .
What could society do without? Superficiality.
What stresses you out? Fast paced, career stepping world... expecting me to be louder **
Now that it’s behind you, what did you do last week that was memorable? I saw Adriana and Jack slutzky's sculpures in Leroy ny. Very meaningful/inspiring.
Where do you spend most of your time while you’re awake? Work, with good solid peeps.
What makes someone a hero? depends. Add on later if anything pops on in my brain.
When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping? Being told I have a learning disability. I just learn different, doesn't mean I can't.
When was the last time you felt lucky? Feel lucky most the time.
When did you first realize that life is short? When my father passed away from a two year battle with cancer at the age of 56.
What is the most insensitive thing a person can do? there's alot one can be insensitive about...
What can someone do to grab your attention? I don't know... talk to me xD.
What do you usually think about on your drive home from work? How it went... just getting home.
Being nervous alittle still with cars coming out from my side .
What’s one downside of the modern day world? That nature on a grand scale is not being respected as in the amazon with the shamans. Keep drilling there for oil and it's disrupting nature.
What simple fact do you wish more people understood? That not everyone thinks and perceived
as you do lol. Just be more understand and respectful of that space.
If you could do it all over again, would you change anything? no. That's silly, you can't.
How would you describe your future in three words? Empowering, Inner strength inducing xD. Challenging even more so. Not "Three" words but eh.