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[MBTI General] Opposites attract?

Lady_X

Active member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,205
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i agree...that just doesn't feel fair to say it means less because we have more people generally that we're friends with...i think that bothers me quite a lot.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
Ah.. yes they do.

I am attracted to the shy, sensitive sort of man with a solid core and a masculine center that comes out here and there...

And I am the outgoing, insensitive sort of gal with a vulnerable, feminine center.
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Jul 17, 2008
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type
i agree...that just doesn't feel fair to say it means less because we have more people generally that we're friends with...i think that bothers me quite a lot.
It will always be the case that some will consider your care/affection worth less if you give it to 1,000 people instead of 5, them being one in both cases.

There are drawbacks to every method.
 

Cassandra

Its time.
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,711
It will always be the case that some will consider your care/affection worth less if you give it to 1,000 people instead of 5, them being one in both cases.

There are drawbacks to every method.

True, but it's sad that they cannot value the quality of the connection, instead of the quantity of people I know which is..sorry to say...none of their f*** business.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
Some people just cannot relate to needing a lot of friends, and so a questioning of motives comes into play
 

Jack Flak

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type
True, but it's sad that they cannot value the quality of the connection, instead of the quantity of people I know which is..sorry to say...none of their f*** business.
There's a certain logic to it. People want to be singled out and appreciated, and if they think you're not selective, they value it less.
 

Cassandra

Its time.
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,711
There's a certain logic to it. People want to be singled out and appreciated, and if they think you're not selective, they value it less.

I understand where they are coming from, but they would be wrong in their assumptions :)
 

Lady_X

Active member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,205
MBTI Type
ENFP
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Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i agree...they should just realize we operate differently.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,689
MBTI Type
ENTP
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There's a certain logic to it. People want to be singled out and appreciated, and if they think you're not selective, they value it less.
Is that your only way to make friends or?

Maybe you should try to rely on your natural charm. Kidding.
 

Wild horses

New member
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Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
See that's what I cannot figure out with the ENFP friend in my life. I have noticed that ENFPs have many friends and then there are those mass mails being sent to about 30 people at once and the title goes, 'To a special person' and it usually has those corny lines like; hey you, special person, someone who thinks you are special sent this to you, etc and thinks that you are great, etc.

And I am left there thinking, am I supposed to fill my name in the blanks? Or read in my name in this generic 'special friend' mail?

Is that how ENFP's show their affection? By showering the people in their e-mail list with little sweet nothings like these?

Like someone wrote on this forum, if everybody is special, who's special? Is that an E/I misunderstanding?


Yes... please don't hate me!
 

Wild horses

New member
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Oct 25, 2008
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ENFP
LOL... Ok reading the above... exactly Erina and Amargith have summed up my feelings exactly! Mr. Flak... can't take anything you say seriously with that avatar... so LOVE it though... anyway hope that helps as the gals have already said.. just cos it's everyone doesn't make you a no one... This is kind of the problems I experience with my INFJ friend.. and his need to be one of a few I find a little controlling cos he wants me to make him feel special by changing me into someone else!
 

hopeseed

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INF~
Enneagram
4 w5
I've had good, but short experiences with Ex types...I get exhausted. I like to have a few Ex friends however, sometimes I need that, but not in a romantic relationship. I love being with a fellow In. He has a healthy level of Ex and likes to be social sometimes like I do. The best thing is he understands needing time to onesself and so do I. when we spend time with friends, it's quality time you know. We have great conversations. It would be annoying if he were the kind of person that needs to be around a lot of people most of the time. Anyway, my point is, that the whole In. Ex. opposites attract theory never made since for me. It sounds good when I read it but not in real life. I like and need more ex. people in my life, but I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with one!
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
15,879
Everytime when I hear this question I say "About how big time scales we are talking about?"
 

Immaculate Cloud

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
143
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yes... please don't hate me!

No, Wild Horses I don't hate you...:hug:

I am asking these questions here to improve my friendship with my ENFP, and am grateful to get your POV. ENFP friends are great but one, just this one is enough for me IRL. I feel I cannot achieve authenticity by scattering my energy like an extrovert.

Knowing what cannot be changed and accepting it is also part of the growth process.

So then, fair enough. Here's the deal - I put up with the mass mails and this ENFP puts up with my intensity and seriousness.:cheese:
 

chris1207

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
467
MBTI Type
XNXX
Enneagram
3w2
I see the most common dynamics to be like this, put abstractly. This doesn't take other type characteristics into account which are, IMO, just as important.

Introverts' psyches are are O shaped, and extroverts' are C shaped.

OO results in, as you can see, two separate units which may exist comfortably together, but do not fully engage.

CC (flip the second C around) results in each unit attempting to engage the other simultaneously, resulting in interference.

CO results in a solid fit, with O being peacefully engaged by C.

I like this, Jack. Nice imagery. Though it does seem like the extroverts are eating the introverts.


You mean like Pacman? Waca waca waca bitchiz! :D
 
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