[MBTI General] Opposites attract?

[Immaculate Cloud]

Thanks beforehand to you all for your feedback. Still learning about type interactions.

 

[Lady_X]

i agree...that just doesn't feel fair to say it means less because we have more people generally that we're friends with...i think that bothers me quite a lot.

 

[disregard]

Ah.. yes they do.

I am attracted to the shy, sensitive sort of man with a solid core and a masculine center that comes out here and there...

And I am the outgoing, insensitive sort of gal with a vulnerable, feminine center.

 

[Jack Flak]

i agree...that just doesn't feel fair to say it means less because we have more people generally that we're friends with...i think that bothers me quite a lot.

It will always be the case that some will consider your care/affection worth less if you give it to 1,000 people instead of 5, them being one in both cases.

There are drawbacks to every method.

 

[Amargith]

It will always be the case that some will consider your care/affection worth less if you give it to 1,000 people instead of 5, them being one in both cases.

There are drawbacks to every method.

True, but it's sad that they cannot value the quality of the connection, instead of the quantity of people I know which is..sorry to say...none of their f*** business.

 

[disregard]

Some people just cannot relate to needing a lot of friends, and so a questioning of motives comes into play

 

[Jack Flak]

True, but it's sad that they cannot value the quality of the connection, instead of the quantity of people I know which is..sorry to say...none of their f*** business.

There's a certain logic to it. People want to be singled out and appreciated, and if they think you're not selective, they value it less.

 

[Amargith]

There's a certain logic to it. People want to be singled out and appreciated, and if they think you're not selective, they value it less.

I understand where they are coming from, but they would be wrong in their assumptions

 

[Lady_X]

i agree...they should just realize we operate differently.

 

[Moiety]

I understand where they are coming from, but they would be wrong in their assumptions

Yeah, I pride myself on being very democratic about it too. Don't leave people out.

 

[Jack Flak]

I understand where they are coming from, but they would be wrong in their assumptions

I can't complain. It takes someone who appreciates everyone to appreciate me.

 

[Amargith]

I can't complain. It takes someone who appreciates everyone to appreciate me.

You're an acquired taste, sweety

 

[EcK]

There's a certain logic to it. People want to be singled out and appreciated, and if they think you're not selective, they value it less.

Is that your only way to make friends or?

Maybe you should try to rely on your natural charm. Kidding.

 

[Wild horses]

See that's what I cannot figure out with the ENFP friend in my life. I have noticed that ENFPs have many friends and then there are those mass mails being sent to about 30 people at once and the title goes, 'To a special person' and it usually has those corny lines like; hey you, special person, someone who thinks you are special sent this to you, etc and thinks that you are great, etc.

And I am left there thinking, am I supposed to fill my name in the blanks? Or read in my name in this generic 'special friend' mail?

Is that how ENFP's show their affection? By showering the people in their e-mail list with little sweet nothings like these?

Like someone wrote on this forum, if everybody is special, who's special? Is that an E/I misunderstanding?

Yes... please don't hate me!

 

[Wild horses]

LOL... Ok reading the above... exactly Erina and Amargith have summed up my feelings exactly! Mr. Flak... can't take anything you say seriously with that avatar... so LOVE it though... anyway hope that helps as the gals have already said.. just cos it's everyone doesn't make you a no one... This is kind of the problems I experience with my INFJ friend.. and his need to be one of a few I find a little controlling cos he wants me to make him feel special by changing me into someone else!

 

[hopeseed]

I've had good, but short experiences with Ex types...I get exhausted. I like to have a few Ex friends however, sometimes I need that, but not in a romantic relationship. I love being with a fellow In. He has a healthy level of Ex and likes to be social sometimes like I do. The best thing is he understands needing time to onesself and so do I. when we spend time with friends, it's quality time you know. We have great conversations. It would be annoying if he were the kind of person that needs to be around a lot of people most of the time. Anyway, my point is, that the whole In. Ex. opposites attract theory never made since for me. It sounds good when I read it but not in real life. I like and need more ex. people in my life, but I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with one!

 

[Virtual ghost]

Everytime when I hear this question I say "About how big time scales we are talking about?"

 

[Immaculate Cloud]

Yes... please don't hate me!

No, Wild Horses I don't hate you...

I am asking these questions here to improve my friendship with my ENFP, and am grateful to get your POV. ENFP friends are great but one, just this one is enough for me IRL. I feel I cannot achieve authenticity by scattering my energy like an extrovert.

Knowing what cannot be changed and accepting it is also part of the growth process.

So then, fair enough. Here's the deal - I put up with the mass mails and this ENFP puts up with my intensity and seriousness.

 

[chris1207]

I see the most common dynamics to be like this, put abstractly. This doesn't take other type characteristics into account which are, IMO, just as important.

Introverts' psyches are are O shaped, and extroverts' are C shaped.

OO results in, as you can see, two separate units which may exist comfortably together, but do not fully engage.

CC (flip the second C around) results in each unit attempting to engage the other simultaneously, resulting in interference.

CO results in a solid fit, with O being peacefully engaged by C.

I like this, Jack. Nice imagery. Though it does seem like the extroverts are eating the introverts.

You mean like Pacman? Waca waca waca bitchiz!