I'm with you on this. Maybe that's the sx second talking?
For me, the "watch me endure pain" part doesn't fit with the "want to be seen as strong and resilient" part. If I let other people see that side of me, then it would be harder to appear stoic and unaffected.
Choosing to suffer doesn't strike me as virtuous, either. That could be another reason I don't like this part of the description. I keep my feelings to myself so I don't bother anyone, so I can't be humiliated for feeling that way, so they feel less urgent, and so I can be comfortable.
Self-containment is a priority for me. Descriptions that emphasize drama, expressiveness, and unrestrained aspects of 4 don't resonate with me for that reason. The profile you posted in
#5 is much closer to what I feel.
Do the 4 Sp folks relate to the above description?
A tiny bit. Sp-first makes the most sense to me, although I've wondered about Sx/sp for 4, 5, and 6. Sx seems to deal in intimacy, intensity, and connections in ways that I don't.
Why do sp 4 descriptions often ignore or flip the sp aspects, anyway? Comfort and security are incredibly important to me. I can easily see how the sp instinct manifests in my daily life, and that might be what drew me to 5.
do other sp 4s relate or is this really out there?
I don't think it's really out there. None of it clicks for me except for the Southern Kross quote. I might be misunderstanding some of it, especially the sections about annihilation anxiety and trying to trigger something "that makes us feel alive and reconnected."
I emotionally detach like a 5 so that the person I like cannot "read" me and possibly humiliate my intense emotions, leaving me to wallow in melodramatic suffering alone without reciprocation and the courage to open up.
This sounds familiar. It doesn't even have to be someone I like.