Notes on the Depressed

[Giggly]

Sometimes I observe depressed people and it seems like they are just people who have not received enough (enough, meaning the right amount of) love and attention from the people they want it from, or they have seen others not receive enough love and attention from the people they want it from.

And sometimes I observe depressed people and it seems like they are people who have failed to achieve a goal they have set for themselves in life. Because they have failed, they are disappointed in themselves and the only fix for their depression is to live up to that standard and achieve that goal or a similar goal that they have set for themselves.

I have fallen into the first group before but not the second.

 

[Elisius]

Good analysis.
I think I neatly fall into the second group, I'm loved by everyone but myself.
The issue is mainly just that when you fail some arbitrary standard you begin to ignore all your positive features, I'm liked, I have a loving family and I can write and debate. But I got a D on that one test, so it doesn't matter, I've failed.
Sort of an emotional tunnel vision.

 

[Giggly]

Thank you for your comment, Elisius.

 

[iwakar]

My depressions have been spurred by both groups you speak of. The former used to be the predominant reason, but now it is the latter. If I'm feeling especially sorry for myself, it is both at once, but this a rut I recognize that I need to yank myself out of quickly before the quicksand pulls me under.

I have had some close calls in my time. Good observations Giggly.

 

[Giggly]

Thank you, Iwakar. Yes, it is like quicksand. You are strong though. I know you will feel better soon.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Consider this; one could experience the second kind of depression as a product of the first kind. One's goal may be getting love from someone.

I have the compounded depression. I have both forms and they make each other.

 

[Giggly]

Magic, I had not considered that. I guess you're right, one can bleed into and/or cause the other.

 

[MayaBroman]

Thanks for posting this, I think this is so true. I've suffered loads from not attaining what I set for myself because they were such crazy and far-fetched goals. I think the remedy for this is to find out what you REALLY want to do and then go for it, instead of setting yourself all these standards and targets that, deep down, you don't really want to accomplish but you're doing it for praise or attention, which are forms of, surprise surprise- love. So yeah the two are very much related. If the goals aren't truly for yourself then they're for obtaining some kind of love or connection that you didn't get somewhere down the line.. that's the way I see it..

 

[Giggly]

MayaBroman, thank you for your comment. Now that you say that, I think I have set a goal once or twice in my life just to please or win the approval of (love) of someone else. Of course that never worked well because I didn't really want that goal for myself, but I can't say I felt disappointed in myself for not achieving that goal, I mostly felt depressed about not getting someone in particulars approval. And that was probably because the goal I was working on never really meant much to me anyway, it was just the approval I wanted. LOL Strange how we operate sometimes.

 

[iwakar]

Thank you, Iwakar. Yes, it is like quicksand. You are strong though. I know you will feel better soon.

I'm fine at present. I'm speaking of past occurrences.

 

[Giggly]

I'm fine at present. I'm speaking of past occurrences.

Oh okay. Good.

 

[UniqueMixture]

Hmm this post really got me thinking and feeling. For me depression comes from wanting to be two opposites at once. Isn't that the challenge of being human? For me this includes tensions between freedom and connectedness, morality (?) and success, and love vs. invulnerability

 

[Giggly]

Yes, good observation, especially about the conflict between wanting opposite things.

Thanks for adding your thoughts.