Why NFs care about others peoples feelings so much?
In my opinion, it's because we can put ourselves in other people's situations. I've heard my roommates (an ESTP and an ESFJ) call girls "dank." In that situation, I can imagine being called, which hurts because I think most people (or, at least, I do) want to be accepted and appreciated by others.
Of course, I'm not perfect. I've thought plenty of people are unattractive, and have probably been less than polite about expressing that. In which case, I remember how I would feel in that situation and feel guilty for the hypocrisy. Then, I begin to reflect on whether I can draw moral theme from the situation that can be universally applied.
Overall, I just want there to be harmony between people and for others (and myself) to feel inherently dignified.
To me it looks like that NFs can care so much about other peoples feelings that this skill can block their ability to operate normally during the day.
Is this because you are afraid of creating enemies or when you hurt someone, you hate yourself for the rest of the day.
I know it is both but I am interested in ratio.
I'd probably say it's 90% because you feel like you betrayed your value system and the other 10% comes from a desire for harmony, i.e. not wanting to offend others.
Do you think that all people are equally soft at core?
I suppose not, which is probably for the best.
Do you give empathy/simpathy to others(when they need it) in a way that you are aware of it or in a more spontaneous way?
For me, an unconscious feeling sort of just comes up in your gut. You can feel yourself getting warmer, your heart beat picks up and your mood just chances. Then I reflect on
why it might be justifiable for me to feel this way.
Also it looks to me that one of the greatest fears of NFs is that they will be in bad mood so that they will not notice that the person who they love is suffering and it needs their help and care.
Is this true?
This isn't something that I fear, but it's something of which I am aware. The other day, my mother (ISFP) and I were watching a television show about animal cruelty (yes, not an interpersonal subject, but one that demands engages values). While, I was certainly saddened, I wasn't quite
appalled like she was. I'm not exactly sure why that was, because there have many times that I've been absolutely vehement about defending animal rights.
Just as a side note. I don't think I reason out sympathy for animals the same way as with people, because I use a sense of empathy. Imagining a scenario when an owner beat his dog, I don't find myself putting myself in its place, exactly. My sympathy is just immediately engaged, and I try to justify it with statements such as, "all living creates deserve to be treated with dignity," or "that dog feels as equally as I do."
I think that probably all of this works for SFs also and I wouldn't mind to get their opinion on this as well.[/QUOTE]