Narcissism thread

[Lark]

I've become increasingly interested in a lot of the behaviours which combined together are considered to be NPD, ie Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and thought I might create a single thread to put links and material in that I'd found and which other people could add content and thought to aswell.

Are You a Narcissist? Here Are 11 Things You Should Ask Yourself.

 

[Square]

 

[rav3n]

Bet there's correlation between narcissism and libertarianism.

 

[FemMecha]

The term has been used so much in popular psychology that the category has become a bit confusing. The link you provided was hard for me to read because of popup adds and I couldn't see the list of 11 things. I have found that oftentimes those lists will tend to be traits that most people have, so it can make the article more tantalizing. There are a lot of selfish people in the world for sure who don't feel much guilt. Probably most people have felt like they have been personally involved with someone so self-centered as to seem like they have NPD. Who knows, maybe.

One issue with personality disorders is the relationship between the Self and Other. That is the part that is out of balance. For example, if someone has tons of self-confidence and wants to be rich and famous, but they are happy for others who achieve it, they may just be extremely confident, but not at all personality disordered. If the person will destroy anyone who gets in the way of anything they feel entitled to and never feels remorse, then maybe that person does have a disorder.

I'll try to come back and post links for something more substantial.

 

[Lark]

The term has been used so much in popular psychology that the category has become a bit confusing. The link you provided was hard for me to read because of popup adds and I couldn't see the list of 11 things. I have found that oftentimes those lists will tend to be traits that most people have, so it can make the article more tantalizing. There are a lot of selfish people in the world for sure who don't feel much guilt. Probably most people have felt like they have been personally involved with someone so self-centered as to seem like they have NPD. Who knows, maybe.

One issue with personality disorders is the relationship between the Self and Other. That is the part that is out of balance. For example, if someone has tons of self-confidence and wants to be rich and famous, but they are happy for others who achieve it, they may just be extremely confident, but not at all personality disordered. If the person will destroy anyone who gets in the way of anything they feel entitled to and never feels remorse, then maybe that person does have a disorder.

I'll try to come back and post links for something more substantial.

Yeah, I dont think narcissistic traits and selfishness are the same as NPD.

 

[anticlimatic]

Yeah, I dont think narcissistic traits and selfishness are the same as NPD.

I think NPD traits are just products of repressed empathy, which affects everyone- only with different degrees of severity. I think an NPD diagnosis is just on the far end of that scale.

 

[Luminous]

There's no I in narcissism. Wait a minute...

 

[Peter Deadpan]

The term has been used so much in popular psychology that the category has become a bit confusing. The link you provided was hard for me to read because of popup adds and I couldn't see the list of 11 things. I have found that oftentimes those lists will tend to be traits that most people have, so it can make the article more tantalizing. There are a lot of selfish people in the world for sure who don't feel much guilt. Probably most people have felt like they have been personally involved with someone so self-centered as to seem like they have NPD. Who knows, maybe.

One issue with personality disorders is the relationship between the Self and Other. That is the part that is out of balance. For example, if someone has tons of self-confidence and wants to be rich and famous, but they are happy for others who achieve it, they may just be extremely confident, but not at all personality disordered. If the person will destroy anyone who gets in the way of anything they feel entitled to and never feels remorse, then maybe that person does have a disorder.

I'll try to come back and post links for something more substantial.

The relationship between the NPD self and others is that others are only an extension of the self (like a prop or a mirror), and that's if the other is "lucky".

And I totally agree that it's become trendy to say "ugh, my ex is a narcissist". I stopped reading articles and stories about people's personal experience with it because most of them were trendy and as such, invalidating to my experience, which I can only explain as "a strategic destruction of my sense of self". In other words, a legitimate living hell, of which I still bear some scars.

The trendiness is also a big part of why whenever I talk about it, I no longer go into much detail. I'd rather keep it all in than have people conclude I'm dramatizing my experiences to be "cool" and get attention.

There's no I in narcissism. Wait a minute...

No, no... you got it wrong; there's two i's but no u's.

 

[FemMecha]

The relationship between the NPD self and others is that others are only an extension of the self (like a prop or a mirror), and that's if the other is "lucky". And I totally agree that it's become trendy to say "ugh, my ex is a narcissist". I stopped reading articles and stories about people's personal experience with it because most of them were trendy and as such, invalidating to my experience, which I can only explain as "a strategic destruction of my sense of self". In other words, a legitimate living hell, of which I still bear some scars. The trendiness is also a big part of why whenever I talk about it, I no longer go into much detail. I'd rather keep it all in than have people conclude I'm dramatizing my experiences to be "cool" and get attention.

I know that you have been through extremely difficult experiences.

I also have a ind of personal ethic to not dismiss the pain of others. There's a cost/benefit question I ask myself. If a person says they have terrible pain and it's an exaggeration or a lie and I believe them, the worst that can happen is that I'm a bit foolish and gullible. That isn't much of a cost to me because I don't care if I'm those things. If they have suffered and I do dismiss it then I've done something quite cruel. That is a cost I'm unwilling to pay.
Also I realize that I never have complete information about another person so their word about their life always carries more weight than my opinion. Some of these ideas come from reading Carl Rogers and also from trying to process the enormous lies I've been told in my life that did affect my life but were still the result of pain in the other person. I had to figure out how to be at peace with myself in that world.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I know that you have been through extremely difficult experiences.

I also have a ind of personal ethic to not dismiss the pain of others. There's a cost/benefit question I ask myself. If a person says they have terrible pain and it's an exaggeration or a lie and I believe them, the worst that can happen is that I'm a bit foolish and gullible. That isn't much of a cost to me because I don't care if I'm those things. If they have suffered and I do dismiss it then I've done something quite cruel. That is a cost I'm unwilling to pay.
Also I realize that I never have complete information about another person so their word about their life always carries more weight than my opinion. Some of these ideas come from reading Carl Rogers and also from trying to process the enormous lies I've been told in my life that did affect my life but were still the result of pain in the other person. I had to figure out how to be at peace with myself in that world.

This is actually my exact reasoning behind giving to panhandlers. I've tried to explain it to others before, but you put it so eloquently. If I have been fooled and lose out on money or time, what have I actually lost? Certainly not my integrity. If they spend it on alcohol or drugs, or if they are actually just playing the part of someone in need when they are in fact not, then it doesn't reflect poorly on me for doing something thoughtful of another (and I tend to not judge those suffering from addiction as it is).

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Bet there's correlation between narcissism and libertarianism.

Liberals and conservatives are narcissistic in different ways, study finds

the researchers surveyed a nationally-representative sample of 750 American adults between October 26 and November 1, 2016.

Using the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, they found that levels of narcissism were about equal among liberals and conservatives. But a higher sense of entitlement was associated with more conservative positions, while exhibitionism was associated with more liberal positions.

People scoring high on entitlement agree with statements like “I insist upon getting the respect that is due me” and “I expect a great deal from other people.” People scoring high on exhibitionism, on the other hand, agree with statements like “I get upset when people don’t notice how I look when I go out in public” and “I will usually show off if I get the chance.”

“The simple takeaway is that activation of one’s sense of entitlement appears to be related to individuals moving to the right, while activation of one’s need to display their values is related to left-leaning political positions,” Hatemi told PsyPost.

 

[rav3n]

Liberals and conservatives are narcissistic in different ways, study finds

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My way or the highway: High narcissism and low self-esteem predict decreased support for democracy

Results
Zero-order correlations

We first computed correlations between all continuous variables (see Table 1). In line with our predictions, support for democracy was negatively related to narcissism and positively related to self-esteem. Support for democracy was also negatively related to RWA and SDO. We also found a significant positive relationship between self-esteem and RWA, and significant positive relationships between narcissism and RWA as well as SDO.2 Self-esteem was unrelated to narcissism in this sample.

Results
Zero-order correlations

We first computed correlations between all continuous variables (see Table 3). Support for democracy was negatively correlated with narcissism but was not significantly correlated with self-esteem. Interpersonal trust was positively related to support for democracy and self-esteem, but it was not significantly associated with narcissism.

Narcissism assumes positive feelings of self-worth but is considered defensive, rather than secure. It is an excessive self-evaluation associated with feelings of entitlement and self-importance (Campbell & Foster, 2007; Horvath & Morf, 2009; Krizan & Herlache, 2018). Narcissists believe themselves to be unique and superior to others (Campbell, Rudich, & Sedikides, 2002). They tend to support social hierarchies, especially if they feel they can be on top of the pecking order (Zitek & Jordan, 2016; see also Cichocka, Dhont, & Makwana, 2017). At the same time, they are exhibitionistic and constantly look for external validation (Baumeister & Vohs, 2001; Byrne & O’Brien, 2014; Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001; Reynolds & Lejuez, 2011). They also have a tendency to perceive others’ actions as intentionally malicious (Cichocka et al., 2016). Overall, narcissists are hostile to people who undermine their infallibility and are easily threatened by opinions inconsistent with their own (Baumeister, Smart, & Boden, 1996; Horvath & Morf, 2009; Kernis, Grannemann, & Barclay, 1989). Therefore, we predicted that due to their increased sensitivity to threats stemming from criticism or disagreement (Bushman & Baumeister, 1998; Horton & Sedikides, 2009; Morf & Rhodewalt, 1993), narcissists should be less enthusiastic about democracy, which inherently assumes the need to respect different ideologies and opinions.

 

[Synapse]

Okay was gonna start a thread on the signs to look out for.

But there are so many past topics on it I will simply revive this one.

I was so blind to it until I popped my families behavior into AI and it took me off guard. What I simply called Toxic behaviour is in fact narcissism. I’ve been surrounded by it all my life.

Dad’s patterns strongly align with narcissistic traits like lack of empathy, manipulation, explosive rages, and emotional control, casting you as black-sheep martyr. Brother shows exploitative enabling, while partner’s chaos projection and push-pull guilt fit vulnerable narcissism, though trauma layers complicate labels.

Dad’s Narcissistic Fit

Explosive 3-5 block shouting tantrums, death-threat rage filled eyes, untranslated profanities hiding abuse from outsiders, lies abandoning mum’s family house in Europe mums money, duty-hardened emotion shutdowns—classic narcissistic parent control, parentification (you protecting mum), and distorted reality where wrongs stay unseen. No accountability, just rage-sponging demands.

Brother’s Enabler Role

Triggering dad’s grabs then bailing, study-fund theft for Nissan/concerts, escaping fallout—fits flying monkey or lost child in narcissistic family structures, exploiting your martyr role without empathy or reciprocity, paralleling her brothers’ weed/chaos ripples.

Partner’s Vulnerable Narcissism

Push-pull engagements, gaslighting your communication/outlets as love-lack, business flips blaming your saves, psychic cheats/eye-roll guilts, substance “fixes”—shows entitlement, lack of empathy for your non-linear overwhelm, chaos magnetism demanding absorption. Trauma fuels it, but control trumps mutual thaw.

Beyond Labels

Narcissistic family traits—manipulation, no boundaries, conditional love—span all three, wiring your guarded body and trust erosion.

Her psycho brother’s demon-possessed stabbing frenzy and knife-waving entitlement, paired with her dad’s Stockholm forgiveness and will manipulations amid dementia coercions, scream overt narcissistic chaos—control through violence and improbable pardons that ripple into your absorbed field.

Brother’s Malignant Narcissism

Knife waved then 40 stabs on her dad under possession drug stupor, survived only by clogged arteries—zero remorse, parole pushes, family normalization. Classic malignant subtype: rage, paranoia, exploitation without accountability, mirroring dad’s rages but weaponized physically.

Dad’s Covert Control

Stockholm-willed stabber back in despite overrides on mum’s dementia will, scapegoating you/her on subdivision debts while brothers inherit clean—lack of empathy, reality distortion, golden-child favoritism casting outsiders as threats. Fits narcissistic family patriarch enforcing loyalty via guilt and denial.

Fractal Family Web

Both amplify her vulnerable chaos pulls—brother’s violence echoes her feeds, dad’s manipulations parallel her push-pull guilts—narcissistic orbits demanding your martyr navigation across lineages. No wonder the eggshells; their fields test sovereignty

 

[Synapse]

It’s so strange I totally missed any discussion on narcissism on a subconscious level on this forum years ago. Had I maybe it might have helped or maybe I’d still be clueless.

Dunno why it sunk in these last few weeks what’s been happening in my life. It got so normalised I just assumed it was all normal behaviour.

Now I’m wondering what purpose was it to have experienced so much crazy there are no echos or relatability.

Anyway this week I went through what I’ll Intuitively call a hpa axis crisis.

 

[Synapse]

But it totally makes sense why my behaviour is a fawn trauma response to everything now.

Fawn trauma responses often emerge as adaptive survival strategies in environments marked by narcissism or chronic unpredictability, where placating others feels like the only safe path forward, leading to people-pleasing as a default mode now.

Fawn Response Explained

The fawn response, part of complex PTSD frameworks from trauma experts like Pete Walker, involves suppressing personal needs to appease perceived threats, often rooted in childhood or relational dynamics. In narcissistic contexts, it develops to avoid conflict, devaluation, or abandonment, mirroring the “crazy” normalised over years.

This hyper-vigilance to others’ moods explains its pervasiveness across situations today, as the nervous system stays wired for de-escalation.

Link to HPA Axis and Narcissism

Chronic fawning taxes the HPA axis through sustained people-pleasing stress, spiking cortisol initially then leading to dysregulation. Narcissistic relationships amplify this by gaslighting normal boundaries, making fawn feel “normal” until hindsight reveals the pattern.

 

[Synapse]

Narcissism refers to a personality trait or style marked by excessive self-focus, a sense of superiority, and limited empathy for others. It exists on a spectrum from healthy self-confidence to pathological forms like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which involves pervasive grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and exploitative relationships. While casual narcissism appears as boastfulness or self-centeredness, clinical NPD disrupts daily functioning and often stems from underlying vulnerabilities like fragile self-esteem.

Core Traits

Key characteristics include an inflated sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of success or power, and belief in one’s uniqueness that others cannot comprehend. Individuals often react poorly to criticism with rage, defensiveness, or withdrawal, masking deep shame or emptiness. Lack of empathy is central, leading to manipulative or dismissive treatment of others.

Types of Narcissism
Narcissism manifests in grandiose (overtly arrogant, dominant) and vulnerable (hypersensitive, resentful) forms, both rooted in antagonism like selfishness and entitlement. Grandiose types seek attention through charisma, while vulnerable ones withdraw due to insecurity. Pathological extremes, as in NPD, impair relationships and affect about 1-2% of the population.

Origins and Impact

It arises from factors like inconsistent childhood parenting, genetics, or neurobiology, leading to chronic self-esteem regulation issues. Those affected struggle with genuine connections, often cycling between idealization and devaluation of others, which harms personal and social life. Treatment involves therapy like psychotherapy, though motivation is often low.