[ISTJ] My child is ISJ

[Moonstone3]

I recently loosley typed my son and he came up ISJ. He's just a toddler, so I'm not pigeonholing him or anything, but he has very strong preferences and personality traits. My other son is older and ENP; they seem very different. I don't know much about this type and am not familiar with behavioral habits and preferences. I am INTP, so I'm on the other side. Can anyone shed some light on your childhood such as what you were interested in and what felt comfortable? I read a little online and in a few of my books, but I'd like to hear firsthand.
Some things I have noticed about him:
He tells me when he is ready for bed.
He sympathizes with emotions in other people.
He notices detail in his environment.
He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset when plans change.
He is cuddly.
He doesn't care for strangers at all.
When kids are playing, he will observe for a while before participating.

I guess I just feel that I'm a very logical type and I want to be sure I am giving him what he needs. I see differences in us. At first he felt needy to me, but now I just want him to have to best possible environment growing up

 

[raz]

My childhood....let's see.

I wasn't a big fan of school, because it was just a lot of work, and half the classes I wasn't interested in. Music, art, creative writing and P.E., I tried to avoid like the plague. They asked me to call on skills that I just plain lack. Those classes asked for either a strong imagination or physical awareness.

In school, I made 1-2 friends and stuck with them. The rest of the student body just generally respected me. No one hated me and no one loved me. I also got into routines at home quickly, realizing when to go to bed, when dinner usually was, etc.

My father introduced me to computers in 1st grade because he's a computer programmer. He had one that I was mess around with when I wanted to. As I got older and learned more about them, I just spent more and more time browsing the internet, learning about my PC. It was something that just finally made sense to me. I was awful at socializing, I was awful at being creative, and the computer offered a way into something that felt more like me.

Being social wasn't the easiest thing for me and it still isn't at 23. I found myself not easily connecting with others, and trying to force myself into social situations. I just would rather find something to work on myself. If I met someone I liked to talk to and cared about, that was fine. I really feel the same about social situations at 23 as I did when I was 7.

 

[Cimarron]

I liked gathering facts, as much as possible. That part is true, about what they say. That happened mostly outside of school, too. But I would try to get a complete run-down of the stats and ins-and-outs of whatever topics interested me at the time.

So shy...Whenever my parents tried leaving me in a new social situation, I'd come running back to hide behind them.

 

[Anamalech]

Sounds nothing like an ISJ child.

 

[Havane]

While I wouldn't say that he sounds nothing like an ISJ child, he sounds like he could be IFP instead. Check out this page and see if the description resonates with you.

 

[Walking Tourist]

I was very much like that child. I didn't care for strangers at all. In fact, I wouldn't talk to them. I was very concerned about other people's feelings and I took everything to heart. Yes, I did observe other kids before participating. And then, I was still very shy. Also, I was very aware of details in my environment. I was very much an IFP child and I think that this boy may be IFP as well.

While I wouldn't say that he sounds nothing like an ISJ child, he sounds like he could be IFP instead. Check out this page and see if the description resonates with you.

 

[Randomnity]

Where does the J come from? Sounds more P. Though who knows really, with a toddler. Introversion can restrain the P so it's less noticeable.

 

[Moonstone3]

Well, he doesn't seem to be sensitive to getting in trouble at all, and doesn't really care if people are pleased or disappointed. He doesn't get his feelings hurt easily. He likes his toys put away and always cleans up when asked. He is quick to make up his mind about getting dressed and always is insistent on what to wear and what toys to take in the car. He's not a picky eater and tries new foods, but not new people. He's very full of energy and emotions. He's not afraid to speak up about his needs. He also wastes no time getting ready to go somewhere and is first to the door in our family of 3 NPs. Thanks for the help. It's not super urgent, and I realize it's early to tell, but I'm just curious. I took the test again, and got ISJ a second time.

 

[/DG/]

It sounds like you could argue him either way. In the first thread he sounds IFP, but the last is mostly ISJ.

 

[Oom]

He sounds like a wonderfully obedient and mature child for his age!

I remember being shy and quiet, but telling my parents when I was ready for bed? Never!

I don't really know how early you can gauge personality. It's probably best to wait until he's old enough to take the test on his own and see the results then.

 

[raz]

He sounds like a wonderfully obedient and mature child for his age!

I remember being shy and quiet, but telling my parents when I was ready for bed? Never!

I don't really know how early you can gauge personality. It's probably best to wait until he's old enough to take the test on his own and see the results then.

I still don't trust even some adults to answer the questions on the test truthfully.

 

[Giggly]

I still don't trust even some adults to answer the questions on the test truthfully.

 

[Oom]

I still don't trust even some adults to answer the questions on the test truthfully.

Unless the person taking the test is honestly interested in their results, they probably wont take it too seriously.

 

[raz]

Unless the person taking the test is honestly interested in their results, they probably wont take it too seriously.

Genuine interest in the results isn't the only requirement. The test also requires a certain degree of self-awareness and introspection.

 

[Moonstone3]

I agree. I thought I was INTP forever until I went to counseling and started honestly asking my friends if I was emotionally aware. Turns out I'm not too good at all that.

 

[raz]

I agree. I thought I was INTP forever until I went to counseling and started honestly asking my friends if I was emotionally aware. Turns out I'm not too good at all that.

I wouldn't ask other people about my own emotional awareness.

 

[INTJ_Prodigy]

Hope this helps!

Well, he doesn't seem to be sensitive to getting in trouble at all, and doesn't really care if people are pleased or disappointed. He doesn't get his feelings hurt easily. He likes his toys put away and always cleans up when asked. He is quick to make up his mind about getting dressed and always is insistent on what to wear and what toys to take in the car. He's not a picky eater and tries new foods, but not new people. He's very full of energy and emotions. He's not afraid to speak up about his needs. He also wastes no time getting ready to go somewhere and is first to the door in our family of 3 NPs. Thanks for the help. It's not super urgent, and I realize it's early to tell, but I'm just curious. I took the test again, and got ISJ a second time.

I have an ISJ daughter, and I would say from everything you mentioned thus far, the only inconsistency would be the sensitivity to trouble or scolding. But, boys usually can be that way, as I was as a child.

As far as my daughter, well, she's very picky with anything new. One method that I use to coax her is to compare or give facts about a new food, person, or situation with something she's already comfortable with. For example, meat tastes like chicken (now everything is chicken), Sally has the same color hair as Annie, and this park has more toys than that park!! etc etc etc.

ISJ children are all extremely responsible, and needs rules clearly defined for them. A typical ISJ child will point out that rules aren't fair, aren't being followed, or are improperly applied. This goes in life as well -- A happy ISJ child's day-to-day will be dependable and static. Everything must be defined. Lunchtime is lunchtime, dinnertime is dinnertime, naptime is naptime. My daughter reminds me if I'm late for her lunch, every time.

ISJ children have an astounding memory for details, and my daughter is no exception in this case. They WILL remember that you promised something at 4pm if they understand concept of time. Even if time isn't well-defined for them, they will still remember you promised them. Breaking a promise with an ISJ child violates their high principle of rules and definitions, even if they deserved it (such as punishment). It is not wise to break many promises, or have too many constant life changes with this type of child, such as moving around a lot or last minute changes.

Some ISJ children can (and do) develop their intuition to become IN*J adults (as I did). This occurs usually during the teenage years, when intuition capacity and aptitude can analyzed by the self (though they don't know that's what happening) and they essentially "choose" a preference between sense and intuition. IN*J adults are extremely capable and intelligent in many fields, and usually assume leadership roles (with more clear definitions, now phrased as "goals")

Hope this helps! There is a ton of information out there, but the best knowledge can be gained simply by playing with the child, at least in my case

 

[RaptorWizard]

[MENTION=18025]INTJ_Prodigy[/MENTION] you have one freaking sick-nasty username! I used to be DragonProdigy93 on Personality Cage with a Bruce Lee avatar. Anyway, you must be a prodigiously skilled spirit of unprecedented power mwahahahaha! I hope to learn from the best, my friend.

 

[Such Irony]

He tells me when he is ready for bed.

Sounds like SJ

He sympathizes with emotions in other people.

F

He notices detail in his environment.

S, could be SP or SJ

He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset when plans change.

P. SJs are usually more rigid about plans.

He is cuddly.

F

He doesn't care for strangers at all.

Introvert


When kids are playing, he will observe for a while before participating.

Introvert



Most of these are not necessarily ISJ but could be attributable to some other type preference. I would say ISFP or maybe ISFJ but more likely ISFP.

 

[Nicki]

I love ISJ children.