Moving away from family + homesickness.

[Lia_kat]

A few questions for those of you that have moved away from home to a different state or different country:

-Why did you move? Do you see it as a negative or positive thing? How has it been for you? How long have you been seperated?
-Do you feel sad or guilty that you can't be there for birthdays, holidays, special events or emergencies?
-How do you keep in touch? Do they come and visit you? How often do you get homesick?
-Do you have children? What difficulties did you encounter while raising children away from family?
-Do you feel moving away has negatively affected your relationship with certain family members?
-Do you ever think of moving back? Why or why not?

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I am currently trying to move back closer to family after a decade of being far away. It is huge difference between living less than 400 miles from family (day trip at worst) to having most family over a thousand miles away (with the closest family 800 miles away).

My father has been out to visit twice in a decade. My mother once. My sisters once each. My brother never. My in laws once a year or so. So my kids rarely see relatives. It is always either a long road trip or a difficult and expensive flight (7 people).

If I could do it all over, I would not have moved here. Being this far away from family sucks.

We have no family support. If we do move where we hope to do so, we will have large numbers of extended family, as well as immediate family, on both sides.

I wouldn't move back to where I grew up. I don't have much family there anymore and it doesn't feel like home anymore.

I don't get homesick. I went to college the day after high school graduation. Just not my thing.

 

[nonsequitur]

I lived apart from my family for 9 years, moved back 3 years ago, moving away again this year.

-Why did you move? Do you see it as a negative or positive thing? How has it been for you? How long have you been seperated?
I needed to establish my identity as an 18 year old and wanted to experience different things/people. I used university as an excuse to move because my parents are over-protective.

It was overwhelmingly positive. I grew up a lot, got to learn and experience so many different things. I was away for a total of 9 years.

-Do you feel sad or guilty that you can't be there for birthdays, holidays, special events or emergencies?

In the moment when it happens, yes. For emergencies, I put my family above everything else so I come back to do whatever they need me to do.

-How do you keep in touch? Do they come and visit you? How often do you get homesick?

Mainly by texting, occasional phone calls. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with anyone. They visited a few times, and I did visit too. I was homesick the first night when I moved, but now I think of the place that I moved to as home. The place where I grew up no longer feels like home.

-Do you have children? What difficulties did you encounter while raising children away from family?

No children.

-Do you feel moving away has negatively affected your relationship with certain family members?

Not really. I think having space away allowed me to develop into who I am. There was a lot of conflict before, now the nature of our relationship has changed.

-Do you ever think of moving back? Why or why not?

I moved back because I felt quite a bit of guilt about having been away for so long. I've lived with my family for the last 3 years, and came to the realisation that it's never gonna work for me here. I feel stifled and limited by who people think I am, so I need to move on, and will be moving back to the city that I think of as home. Life is too short, I don't want to regret anything.