Mistyped TypeCentral Members

[Cloudpatrol]

It happens rarely but here it is: I am A N G R Y. Frustrated.

When I first came to this site I was puzzled why several member's who I highly respected did not want to discuss Typology ON A TYPOLOGY SITE?! Several would not even discuss or display their MBTI identification. It was Typing that brought me here so I was confused when they said "they had grown tired of debating typology but stayed because they truly felt affection for some member's".

I get it now.

I don't mind having my type questioned. I know a large number of people feel strongly I am certain types and that doesn't bother me. I've greatly appreciated the time and energy people have spent on my typing thread.

I will use [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] as an example of someone who I think does questioning right. (Hope you don't mind OA) She offered clear, well-reasoned points at things I might want to look at as alternate points of view. She revealed a wealth of her own research in her posts. She didn't presume to know me but asked questions and truly examined the answers. She didn't belabor the point but allowed me the dignity of processing what she wrote.

On the other hand (I am not going to name any specific user's) there are the people who will not let up. Either sending PM's, writing messages or making "mentions" in other posts. I FULLY GET that a lot of people disagree with my initial typing. I appreciated when [MENTION=7842]Z Buck McFate[/MENTION] acknowledged I might feel a bit 'hounded'. I was trying to keep an objective, cheery outlook but I do honestly feel it has gone into an area that is mostly unproductive.

Why do I stay? So far, because there are MANY people who I genuinely enjoy. Some of them are even the people who won't let the 'type thing' go.

Others who know me better (some IRL) have come forward saying their perception matches my own. But, they have been largely ignored or disbelieved, which entirely makes sense to me if my own perceptions are dismissed My desire to participate is dwindling.

If people don't have any confidence in my ability to know myself, why should I share? Why would I presume to offer perception on anyone else ever, in that case? Why should I push myself to participate fully when it is dismissed that this takes effort and people insist I am an extrovert and 'being social' comes easily to me?


I won't offer my viewpoints anymore in INFP related threads. Despite the recipients finding meaning in my words and being thankful, I continue to receive snarky messages that question why I am posting in those threads. I am not participating in threads offering advice to other members (save for impartial relationship questions...) because I would feel like a fraud. I don't think like those types and don't feel I have anything of value to offer.


So...I am left at a place where my first friend's revealed they were: not engaging in typology on a typology site.


I welcome correction if I am off on this. I truly have given it much thought and feel I have been exceedingly open to suggestion and patient with being questioned. I HATE turning off any potential possibilities for new understanding or thought so I will never be able to shut down discussion on my type. It goes contrary to my nature. I DON'T presume to know everything. I only wish there was a little more confidence in my abilities shown and that I was respectfully allowed to reject what I don't feel fits, without it continuing to be pushed on me.

Regardless of what others feel, I know myself more than anyone else. Despite months of this, and doing exhaustive research I still feel I have a genuine (albeit enhanced) understanding of who I am and where I am. I KNOW that having my type questioned and referred to without letup isn't servicing me in continued enjoyment of interacting here.

I HATE complaining and it pains me to write this. Especially when I think questioning one's own type and receiving helpful feedback is hugely valuable. I also don't want to downplay the encouragement and support that caring individuals have expressed. Saying they have faith that: ultimately I will know myself best, whether they agree or disagree with how I type.

To be perfectly clear:

I support questioning typing and offering advice and viewpoints.


I don't support 1) Persisting in chasing the person on the issue after they have considered the input 2) Making snide asides in messages or mentions that the person is clueless about who they are 3) The assumption that internet forum access allows us to know someone better than they know themselves.

Does any of this matter in the larger scheme of things? No.

Future dust, future rust...right [MENTION=29251]mystik_INFJ[/MENTION]?

 

[cascadeco]

People keep sending you PM's / belaboring the point, [MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION]? I'm sorry to hear that. That is probably stressful .

They probably think they are helping or are locked in their own 'excitement' of trying to present their argument? That's one of the downsides of being immersed in typology -- it can start to consume one. (I've been there)


Maybe consider it an honor? lol. You are clearly liked. (I've never had my type questioned(though I'm positive people may privately disagree and that's fine), and I've typed as two types for long lengths of time). Btw I'm NOT asking people to question my type, ha, I just think it's a very interesting contrast. Perhaps it is because you have been so open and the thread you sought input on gave everyone free reign? Sounds like some people aren't quite ready to let it go but hopefully your post here will create a clear message to everyone to let it drop.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

People keep sending you PM's / belaboring the point, [MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION]? I'm sorry to hear that. That is probably stressful .

They probably think they are helping or are locked in their own 'excitement' of trying to present their argument? That's one of the downsides of being immersed in typology -- it can start to consume one. (I've been there)


Maybe consider it an honor? lol. You are clearly liked. (I've never had my type questioned(though I'm positive people may privately disagree and that's fine), and I've typed as two types for long lengths of time). Btw I'm NOT asking people to question my type, ha, I just think it's a very interesting contrast. Perhaps it is because you have been so open and the thread you sought input on gave everyone free reign? Sounds like some people aren't quite ready to let it go but hopefully your post here will create a clear message to everyone to let it drop.

You rock

You made me laugh which is the best possible thing

You are right. Typology IS super exciting. I think I had started to lose sight of that. It's part of the reason why I love the common interest most of us share. Only a small section of my IRL friend's understand 'automatically attempting to discern type' upon meeting someone new. That you can't "unsee" what you have learnt (smile). Everyone here get's that and I love digging into functions and the 'meat' of typing.

{I think it's why I have been so disappointed to feel like I better not participate if any 'typing credential' I had has been removed. And...maybe people don't feel that way and it's my own confidence that has been shaken and I need to address that myself instead of blaming externally}.

And, you are also right that I should change my perception and view it as a gift and be more grateful for how people have 'taken me in' since I came here. I also completely accept responsibility in that I opened the floor to discussion with my thread.

Your words also made me realize that I have been not openly communicating regarding how I have felt along the process. This is a weakness I have and it's helpful to have it illuminated so that I can 'see' it.

My most valued friends are the one's who help me see other sides (especially when I am upset) and who kindly take me down a notch. You did this beautifully while also acknowledging my feelings and not dismissing me. You are a good friend and this post has only increased my appreciation for you!

 

[cascadeco]

You rock

You made me laugh which is the best possible thing

You are right. Typology IS super exciting. I think I had started to lose sight of that. It's part of the reason why I love the common interest most of us share. Only a small section of my IRL friend's understand 'automatically attempting to discern type' upon meeting someone new. That you can't "unsee" what you have learnt (smile). Everyone here get's that and I love digging into functions and the 'meat' of typing.

{I think it's why I have been so disappointed to feel like I better not participate if any 'typing credential' I had has been removed. And...maybe people don't feel that way and it's my own confidence that has been shaken and I need to address that myself instead of blaming externally}.

And, you are also right that I should change my perception and view it as a gift and be more grateful for how people have 'taken me in' since I came here. I also completely accept responsibility in that I opened the floor to discussion with my thread.

Your words also made me realize that I have been not openly communicating regarding how I have felt along the process. This is a weakness I have and it's helpful to have it illuminated so that I can 'see' it.

My most valued friends are the one's who help me see other sides (especially when I am upset) and who kindly take me down a notch. You did this beautifully while also acknowledging my feelings and not dismissing me. You are a good friend and this post has only increased my appreciation for you!

That is awesome that my post helped. And thank you. (But to be honest I wasn't really even trying to achieve all of that... but I am glad the end result was that it was helpful and made you feel a bit better. )

 

[Dreamer]

Wait, [MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION], are some people STILL harassing you?? Because that's what it is. What you describe takes it far beyond type suggestions and into a realm that is honestly, disgusting. I never got it that bad, and even then, part of my struggle was my own interpretations of the typings and less so than what was objectively happening at the time. We don't need some typing police, but just some common decency here. Some members need to put themselves in the shoes of others at times, I swear.

 

[Poki]

You rock You made me laugh which is the best possible thing You are right. Typology IS super exciting. I think I had started to lose sight of that. It's part of the reason why I love the common interest most of us share. Only a small section of my IRL friend's understand 'automatically attempting to discern type' upon meeting someone new. That you can't "unsee" what you have learnt (smile). Everyone here get's that and I love digging into functions and the 'meat' of typing. {I think it's why I have been so disappointed to feel like I better not participate if any 'typing credential' I had has been removed. And...maybe people don't feel that way and it's my own confidence that has been shaken and I need to address that myself instead of blaming externally}. And, you are also right that I should change my perception and view it as a gift and be more grateful for how people have 'taken me in' since I came here. I also completely accept responsibility in that I opened the floor to discussion with my thread. Your words also made me realize that I have been not openly communicating regarding how I have felt along the process. This is a weakness I have and it's helpful to have it illuminated so that I can 'see' it. My most valued friends are the one's who help me see other sides (especially when I am upset) and who kindly take me down a notch. You did this beautifully while also acknowledging my feelings and not dismissing me. You are a good friend and this post has only increased my appreciation for you!

i woud venture to say most people cant see past shallow when it comes to people.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Wait, [MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION], are some people STILL harassing you?? Because that's what it is. What you describe takes it far beyond type suggestions and into a realm that is honestly, disgusting. I never got it that bad, and even then, part of my struggle was my own interpretations of the typings and less so than what was objectively happening at the time. We don't need some typing police, but just some common decency here. Some members need to put themselves in the shoes of others at times, I swear.

Thank you Dreamer. I didn't want to mention specific names of support I have received in case I forgot anyone but You have honestly helped me keep my sanity (sense of self) through some of this.

I think I was overwhelmed because I got back yesterday and read all of the messages, mentions and comments at one time. Usually, they trickle in slowly throughout the week...

I got increasingly frustrated as I got caught up: first a mention where I was described as confused...then a message that explained how I deceive myself...

My personal fave was a reply in a thread from an INFP who has been clear in stating I am not one. They literally crossed out where I had marked "INFP" and replaced it with 'human'. It actually made me laugh

They then posited that my carefully thought-out reasoning could be applied to every type of person. I started to respond that maybe they found my reasoning relevant because they ARE an INFP & specific examples of HOW other types would NOT necessarily relate... But honestly, I lost interest.


I agree we don't need typing police and I refuse to report things. I will handle my own s*it if it needs handling, as a mature adult. I'd only report if the situation was dire.


That all being said > I can only control my own behaviour. That's why I appreciated [MENTION=1206]cascadeco[/MENTION]'s feedback. I have fallen short in some communication and I also see area's where I can be more assertive and appreciative. Those are things I can work on. That makes me happy!


I agree with you that the world would be a different place if everyone thought about how what they said/did would affect other's. It's a good reminder for me as well!

 

[Cloudpatrol]

i woud venture to say most people cant see past shallow when it comes to people.

I have missed you Poki (grin). You have a way of saying things so 'simply and truthy'. Something this long-winded gal admires greatly

I came back to edit this because I was still thinking on it [MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION]. Maybe this is naive but I actually think a huge portion of the member's here are really perceptive. As much as we can glean about each other off of the internet. Other member's have less perception or intuition but are intelligent or devoted student's and have really capable observations.

I do have faith in people's ability to discern things.

The main thing for me is that there is a difference between offering a viewpoint or a conclusion. i.e. 1) "I think you are 'type' because..." and 2) "You are deluded and confused in not recognizing you are 'type'".

 

[Poki]

I have missed you Poki (grin). You have a way of saying things so 'simply and truthy'. Something this long-winded gal admires greatly I came back to edit this because I was still thinking on it [MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION]. Maybe this is naive but I actually think a huge portion of the member's here are really perceptive. As much as we can glean about each other off of the internet. Other member's have less perception or intuition but are intelligent or devoted student's and have really capable observations. I do have faith in people's ability to discern things. The main thing for me is that there is a difference between offering a viewpoint or a conclusion. i.e. 1) "I think you are 'type' because..." and 2) "You are deluded and confused in not recognizing you are 'type'".

perceptive and shallow are 2 different things completely. when i say shallow i am more referring to a person focusing on a persons action or whats obvious. i think to propery type someone function wise you have to get behind the shallow and obvious.

lets take an ENFP for example. i know ENFPs that are so driven that based on actions they would be deemed something else completely. ones who are so T they give a T a un for their money. for example...you do employ what would be considered very heavy Fe, but how much is driven from Fe, i could argue its Ti understanding or Fi caring or Se mimmicking. i see more categorization based on statistical anaysis of traits more then i see deep down dive. i personally dont ask questions to type. i talk to a person. they can say everything that leads up to ISTP, but they have a hard time faking the signature of how each types think and feel and talk. its a deeper pattern then just answer these questions. its like a personality signature.

you can see it in expressions as well....T vs N vs S vs F. but its again like a signature flow.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

perceptive and shallow are 2 different things completely. when i say shallow i am more referring to a person focusing on a persons action or whats obvious. i think to propery type someone function wise you have to get behind the shallow and obvious.

lets take an ENFP for example. i know ENFPs that are so driven that based on actions they would be deemed something else completely. ones who are so T they give a T a un for their money. for example...you do employ what would be considered very heavy Fe, but how much is driven from Fe, i could argue its Ti understanding or Fi caring or Se mimmicking. i see more categorization based on statistical anaysis of traits more then i see deep down dive. i personally dont ask questions to type. i talk to a person. they can say everything that leads up to ISTP, but they have a hard time faking the signature of how each types think and feel and talk. its a deeper pattern then just answer these questions. its like a personality signature.

you can see it in expressions as well....T vs N vs S vs F. but its again like a signature flow.

Yes, this exchange is a perfect example of why additional probing is often needed (beyond the 'shallows').

I understand clearly now what you mean, and agree. This is a matter of 'practicing what you preach' because I have always enjoyed that you listen more than you speak and generally ask a series of questions to attain better understanding (with politics...) and actually talk to someone to ascertain type.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

Wait, [MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION] are some people STILL harassing you?? Because that's what it is. What you describe takes it far beyond type suggestions and into a realm that is honestly, disgusting. I never got it that bad, and even then, part of my struggle was my own interpretations of the typings and less so than what was objectively happening at the time. We don't need some typing police, but just some common decency here. Some members need to put themselves in the shoes of others at times, I swear.

[MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION] I'm with ED on this. Low level psychological warfare at the minimum, trolling most likely or downright harassement at the worse. Time to slam the door on a few people, imo, or not. You decide when someone can bother you. Their power to bother you came from you. You gave them that power by 'valuing' what they say or think. Take it back.

Failing that, "Naked force has resolved more issues throughout history than any other factor. The contrary opinion, that violence never solves anything, is wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always pay."

I was going to suggest putting them on your Purge list, but hate is often just a waste of energy. Indifference is the way forward

 

[Cloudpatrol]

[MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION] You decide when someone can bother you. Their power to bother you came from you. You gave them that power by 'valuing' what they say or think. Take it back.

Failing that, "Naked force has resolved more issues throughout history than any other factor. The contrary opinion, that violence never solves anything, is wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always pay."

Ha! It's been too long since I've seen that movie. Naked force huh?

I was going to suggest putting them on your Purge list, but hate is often just a waste of energy. Indifference is the way forward

I can't hate. Have tried and it just doesn't work for me. I am also failing at indifference (clearly) but at least see the value of and WANT to adopt it. These &^%* feelings keep getting in the way. Teach me your indifferent ways Sensei.

 

[mystik_INFJ]

Future dust, future rust...right?

Ha, it does put things in a different perspective when thought of it that way, doesn't it?

For those who don't know what this is about, it's about this song here, which for me it means to not worry about the non-important as it will lose significance as time goes by. Like getting angry. Or like holding on to negative feelings. Lyrics available in the description.

Right. Back to the subject. Do people actually send you messages to tell you you're not an INFP? Wow. Those must be some shitty people. I can't imagine a situation where I can be shit bothered to actually write a message to basically say "OH MAH GOD, YOU ARE AN INFP POSER, NOW FEEL BAD!".

I had spoken previously around here why I believe you're an INFP. Now, I know, and it's important to remember, that people may not know you as well as those closest to you would. Some people may be also be mistyped themselves and would think that all other people that are not like them are not part of that type. Ironic if you think about it. Also, one last thing to remember, life experiences may have changed some of the "standard" behavior of the personality you belong to. You may become more extroverted because loneliness may have taken it's toll. Pain is a strong motivator of change. No reason why an INFP may not become more "Judging" if this is part of a lesson that was learned somewhere in the past. You will, at your core always revert to you default behavior, but your newly learned abilities will be used everytime you need that extra "umph" that the INFP core values may lack. I'm an INFJ that used to have a terrible time connecting with people. I also hated to talk over the phone. I had a job in a support call center and I no longer have any fear left of talking on the phone. The dread of talking on the phone is still there, but the anxiety is gone. I also used to have a big thing with telling people how I really feel (Fe used to suck the life out of me). Now I don't give a shit about telling it how it is. You have seen what I post. You could say that I've gone full Fi-tard (I mean that in a playful way, especially because I appreciate Fi a lot). Plenty of other INFJs I'm sure they frown at my direct way of speaking, sometimes disregarding feelings for the sake of the truth. Fe is good, but I found that it is better to emanate Fe than let Fe become a passive absorbing thing. Does this mean I'm no longer an INFJ? I'd say I'm a much more developed INFJ than I used to be. I'm currently working at that Ti function like crazy and I'm happy with the results so far. Logic is actually adding more and is enhancing my views on the world in a correct and meaningful way). Keep working at what's important for you and move beyond the "standard" limits of your type.

One more important thing, before I end this, this thread worries me that you may be entering a Fi-Si loop. I say this because I see you seek, in a way, some kind of validation. That's a Fe thing. Don't worry about such trivial things. In the end you need to be able to live with yourself. Would you be able to live in a group if the price of being accepted means not being the way you feel like? Acceptance gets you only so far. Fe sucks because of this. Better to die for something, than live for nothing, comes to mind. Don't slip down the vicious Fi-Si loop because it's a shitty place to be. INFPs have a hard time with depression as it is and it's best to walk a safer path than come close to the that. I think that disconnecting from this "You're not a true INFP" thing is the best thing you can do. Are you familiar with the no true scotsman fallacy?

No true Scotsman is an informal fallacy, an ad hoc attempt to retain an unreasoned assertion. When faced with a counterexample to a universal claim ("no Scotsman would do such a thing"), rather than denying the counterexample or rejecting the original claim, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule ("no true Scotsman would do such a thing"; i.e., those who perform that action are not part of our group and thus criticism of that action is not criticism of the group).

Person A: "No Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge."
Person B: "But my uncle Angus likes sugar with his porridge."
Person A: "Ah yes, but no true Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge."

On a happier and serious note, you have to play Life Is Strange, and tell me how you think about Max. You will understand why I say this and how I think it relates to you in many ways. I think it will make you think more cleared about oneself, once you survive the process of your feelings getting kicked around like a football, taking some serious hits to your feels. I'm a guy and it hit me right in the feels*. MAH FEELS!

*#toxicmasculinity CONFIRMED. Illuminati confirmed. Half Life 3 confirmed.

 

[Jaguar]

On the other hand (I am not going to name any specific user's) there are the people who will not let up. Either sending PM's, writing messages or making "mentions" in other posts. I FULLY GET that a lot of people disagree with my initial typing.

I won't offer my viewpoints anymore in INFP related threads. Despite the recipients finding meaning in my words and being thankful, I continue to receive snarky messages that question why I am posting in those threads. I am not participating in threads offering advice to other members (save for impartial relationship questions...) because I would feel like a fraud. I don't think like those types and don't feel I have anything of value to offer.

I KNOW that having my type questioned and referred to without letup isn't servicing me in continued enjoyment of interacting here.

Is this shit still going on? I have zero patience for stalkers. Type stalkers. Sex stalkers. How-dare-you-unfriend-me stalkers. Any kind of stalker. I don't give a rat's ass what your type is. It's your call. Period.

 

[Bush]

stuff.

Feel free to report any of that stuff btw

It sounds like some of it borders on harassment

We don't want anyone to be discouraged from the site on account of that bullshit

 

[Norrsken]

[MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION]: You have my deepest sympathy. The entire typology subject is supposed to be a light hearted hobby, much like astrology and numerology, but its extremists who always ruin the fun for everybody else. If I ever mentioned in passing that I thought of you as an extravert, please let me know, I have a terrible memory and can hardly remember the color of my underwear that I put on in the morning. ;p Your Fe is clearly present in your posts, but that doesn't have to mean that you are a Fe-dom. You can always be an introvert with a strong Fe. I really do think this.

 

[Dreamer]

[MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION]: You have my deepest sympathy. The entire typology subject is supposed to be a light hearted hobby, much like astrology and numerology, but its extremists who always ruin the fun for everybody else. If I ever mentioned in passing that I thought of you as an extravert, please let me know, I have a terrible memory and can hardly remember the color of my underwear that I put on in the morning. ;p Your Fe is clearly present in your posts, but that doesn't have to mean that you are a Fe-dom. You can always be an introvert with a strong Fe. I really do think this.

I think that's what some people get caught up in and forget, that just because someone displays this function or that, does not automatically make them a dominant level of that function. Oh shoot me should I ever display Fe or Si, the typology police will come out to play. I'm under the belief that everyone uses all the functions to varying degrees. It's what you default to is what your type should follow.

There is also a tendency I've noticed that once someone makes up their mind about you, it can be very difficult to steer them otherwise, because from that point on, ALL they will see are signs of the function(s) they see in you, and will totally negate any other signs that would suggest some other type.

 

[Kierva]

I can't hate. Have tried and it just doesn't work for me. I am also failing at indifference (clearly) but at least see the value of and WANT to adopt it. These &^%* feelings keep getting in the way. Teach me your indifferent ways Sensei.

You poor, innocent soul.

 

[Norrsken]

There is also a tendency I've noticed that once someone makes up their mind about you, it can be very difficult to steer them otherwise, because from that point on, ALL they will see are signs of the function(s) they see in you, and will totally negate any other signs that would suggest some other type.

First impressions count on this site, unfortunately. :/

 

[Cloudpatrol]

[MENTION=29251]mystik_INFJ[/MENTION]

Appreciated all you said! I am realizing that 'typing tired' is virtually the same as 'driving drunk' for me. I don't regret writing what I did, because I have now learnt how many others have also been harassed and that matters. But, yes I was a hot mess about it.

First, I was in full Fi+Te mode. Lost my sense of humour, was decisive and judgemental. Felt good. Till it didn’t.

Then I slipped into a Fi+Si loop and got even more serious, fixated, and obsessed with solving the problem, not being resistant to criticism and figuring out my mistakes.

I knew I had lost perspective and balance but also was overreacting. Always fun for everyone!

Everyone's support helped. I should have been able to decide it didn't matter on my own, but in this case I did need reinforcements. Then I was finally able to realize: I needed rest and to stimulate my Ne

[MENTION=195]Jaguar[/MENTION]

I always value when you add your 2 cents.

[MENTION=22264]Bush Did 9/11[/MENTION]

I have always felt like reporting is "telling on someone" instead of handling your own stuff. But, now I see that maybe silence somewhat allows that kind of thing to flourish. I will take what you say into consideration Thank you sincerely.


[MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION]

Oh I would never want you to apologize for making a suggestion (and I can't remember specifics of all we have talked about either). I don't mind people expressing their views and giving suggestions or impressions. It's more when I let the person know it doesn't fit and they INSIST their perception is the correct one that I am frustrated. HUG!

I agree it's supposed to be FUN! (grin)