I definitely get it. Ever since I was little, I gave myself away, emotionally, to everybody and anybody who never deserved it. My heart and hope was shattered more times than I can count; it was mostly my hope in the person that would get dashed whenever they decide to debase themselves to otherwise selfish, hedonistic, or philistinism set of actions when I knew they were much more than that. Unfortunately, people are going to decide what they want to do at the end of the day, and I can't stop them no matter how hard I tried. My perfectionism has blinded me, and it still does today, that my relationships with others won't always be rosy even though my deepest desire is to find a friendship with someone that is so deep and so pure, that this sort of thing won't happen to me.
Tell you what, you have such a big heart, that it should go to people and the places that are more than happy to take your kindness: volunteering. It could pay you some money, it may not pay you anything, but it will give you major emotional and spiritual rewards for being there. Go volunteer at the soup kitchen. Sign up to become a suicide hotline assistant. Pay a part of your income to charities you strongly believe in. Visit the animal shelter and ask, "What can I do to help?". INFJ people are usually found in these hospitable careers and activities that exercise their vast sympathy for mankind, and its for a good reason! It is just as you said.. we have so much love to give that it physically hurts to keep it all in. We have to let that go somewhere, but in a way that is healthy and won't reject or hurt you in return.
I hope I helped some.
So I have been told, volunteer work could enrich my life. They're just not common here where I live. There isn't a community in my area that offers free service, I'd have to do it on my own which raises suspicion and distrust. I help people online for some time now, I do free art, talk to depressed people, stuff like that. I need to make earnings sooner or later, so if things go well, I will continue my studies and go from there. You did help, feels nice talking to a person who knows what you're going through.
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So many thinking patterns of young INFJs in your posts. You won't know all of your mistakes, just as you feel alone in yourself right now, believe you give 100% and others only give 50%, think that others aren't living up to their potential ... you don't recognize those as patterns yet either, patterns in your beliefs that are at best unhelpful. Read some threads here, start to see how you're not so isolated in your thinking, and how typical and common your patterns are. That will help you see how you are like other people, after all.
Allow me to emphasise this: It's not about never making mistakes. I simply accept the wrongs I have done. And grow from there. I introspect a lot, I consider various possibilities from different perspectives. It's a little outstretched to say "impossible/always", but more often than not I realise my mistakes without having them pointed out, and I try to fix without needing to be told. That was the message I'm trying to get across as /someone/ had made a wrong assumption about me simply because I identified as INFJ, and I felt the need to defend myself.
I said it earlier, and if you actually read my posts before commenting, you would know that this thread ISN'T about [the *only* suffering INFJ in the world]. I know there are people in out there (scattered all over the world) who feel the same way. and that doesn't make it all better like a magic cure MY loneliness, nor invalidate it.
It's never about originality nor being special, it's about authenticity. I really do feel this way and I'm trying to reach out to people. Please don't make me repeat myself. You seem to have misunderstood the intent and the nature of my thread which I have previously clarified.
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What's preventing you from making a significant contribution?
And if you're using personality type as a means of screening people's ability to satisfy you in a relationship...maybe STPs are the way to go? They're your dual in Socionics and I think a little bit more connected to the world in general, because they seek out life experiences rather than just staying home.
Could maybe try NTJs as well, but I'm not sure if that would work the same way.
Of course, I'm not sure that's the method you
ought to be using, but you're one person and if it works, it works. What did you like about your ENTP SO?
Let's be real, we'd have to be famous/rich to make a SIGNIFICANT difference on a huge scale. 'Changing the world?' more like realistically 'Endless self-improvement'. We cannot change other people, we only have control over ourselves. But I'm a child and to some extent, my parents have control over me and they abuse their authority.. Sadly that's how the world works, you need power, you need money, you need recognition to be something.
I have made a difference in several people's lives, this is true, but I'm not quite satisfied with that. I'd like to be a psychiatrist and help people but hey, I can't do that if I don't go to college. And hey I cannot go to college if my parents say no. And hey I cannot apply for a job if I didn't even finish highschool (not free here, you pay for education). Pathetic. I don't like how I'm playing right into my parent's game. As much I want to break free, they can throw me out to the streets if they want to. And oh trust me, it's awful being a homeless here in the country I'm in.
No I am not screening people's personality type to satisfy myself in a relationship. I have not the slightest idea she was an ENTP until we dated. "
Maybe STPs are the way to go" you said? Aren't you the one using people's personality as a screening criteria? Gotta love the irony!!!
I don't have method whatsoever. I follow my heart and stay with whoever I feel comfortable with. If I must describe, the ENTP happened to have appreciated my 'weirdness', we share the same sense of humour, speak in the same wavelength, she was able to finish my sentences before I did. It felt like home being with her, it felt like we've known each other for a very long time.
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Many people put out their points and some are fairly good, but I guess as what you see and feel resonates with me, I can put this one up here.
Be the first one to love anybody, but do not give more than you need to give, because the pocket of others who aren't deep enough are not going to be able to recieve it anyways. However, so long as you desire, and maybe that is good for an introvert too, that it would at least speaking by my own experience, that reading something decent from the web can ease the situation a little
I hope I helped. Just never give up.
Noted. Been doing that, will do more of it, TY!
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yeah but Earth definitely needs more people like us.
I'm a 37 yr old male INFJ enneagram 1. I hear you. I like you. Don't give in. And yeah, find yourself a buddy.
Thank you for the words of encouragement
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I am bipolar 2, also 1w2, and felt similar to you when I was younger. Things will change and get easier with time. You need to try and not be so resolute and think you introspect perfectly and know everything. You don't, NO ONE does. It will block you from improving and getting better. As MDP2525 said (who gave solid advice too) go on meds. You NEED to be on them. BPII is a very serious matter and I have yet to meet someone who can truly manage not being on meds without numerous ill effects. I recongize the kind of thinking that can plauge people who have it, and you are displaying them. You will continue to get worse over time. Take it from someone who wasn't on meds for a while and utterly tanked because of it. I might not be here if I didn't find working ones.
I wrote something about that above here if you care to read. My mistake if that was taken wrongly, I only meant to underline that I introspect more than /someone/ here thinks. - who made a big assumption about me and honestly? I was mildly offended. It's similar to getting preached over how dangerous people on the internet can be as though I'm a very naive person who doesn't know better when I already said that I am a type 1w2: which definitely does NOT make me a flawless person but at least more disciplined than the average people. See what I mean? That raises the question: Do you even process what you know about me and take the information given into consideration? It would be nice if people give more thought into what they say/do.
My parents aren't well-aware of the existence and danger of mental illnesses. I'll try to summarise this. Simply put, they're abusive, stubborn and they don't care. For the third time, it
IS ALREADY my plan to go back to my medication, so you needn't worry nor repeat yourselves. Stop talking about a problem that doesn't exist. You needn't try to convince me because I am already convinced before I came here. You stated that you recognise the kind of thinking that can plague people who have it; I have no idea what you have in mind, but it may or may not apply to me. Thanks for you concern, please read before commenting from now on.
