Asdlax
New member
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2016
- Messages
- 8
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2
Well, for starters, I'm a 1w2 INFJ. I long for deep, meaningful relationships. I'm often disappointed at how shallow and bland many people are. Sometimes I feel like I wasn't meant for this world because it doesn't appear to have what I am looking for. I yearn for a friend, someone like myself, who can speak to me on the same wavelength, who can inspire me, who can show me that the world isn't only full of trashy people. I want to feel understood, unalone, reciprocated. Is that too much? I just want to feel like I belong, around people of my own kind. I'm tired of being let down. The more relationships I form, the more intense my loneliness becomes. It only highlights how I really don't belong here. Yes, I have tried talking to other INFJs but we somehow always manage to drift apart maybe because we "bore" each other out with our striking similarities? Honestly makes me sad how I'm ironically more attracted to people who are different than me in several major aspects, then get hurt.
I'm worried my loneliness and pain will only continue to grow as time passes by. I've been battling with depression and bipolar2 ever since a very young age due to dysfunctional family, narcissistic mother and history of abuse, as well as bullying. All in all, I truly feel like a bird in a world of foxes.. yet tries to make the world a better place. And I hate how I cannot make a significant contribution. (I know there are other INFJs who probably also feel the same way considering how uncommon inspiring humans are in the world and how prone we are to emotional distress).. Sometimes I wish I could turn off my emotions, they're just too much. I want the pain gone, I wish I could be more detached and aloof like my INTP friend. The world is just turning all of my strength points into weakness. The thought sometimes cross my mind to become the monsters that hurt me if that means I won't have to suffer anymore. But at the same time, that is against my strong values. I don't really want to change myself. I respect who I am and I actually love myself. For five years now, my non-existence has become my salvation. I long for the day I no longer feel pain, no longer overthink, no longer feel unrequited, and achieve eternal peace, the seemingly ultimate happiness. Why does it have to be so hard just being? It's tough enough being an INFJ and I'm also a type 1w2 at the same time (anyone else?).. sorry. I'd probably regret creating this thread soon. Ah. *facepalm*
I really appreciate it if anybody read until the end and I apologise if this seems very out of place. I have noticed how most discussions are over the theories and functions of 16 personalities and here I am with my sentimental concerns..
I'm worried my loneliness and pain will only continue to grow as time passes by. I've been battling with depression and bipolar2 ever since a very young age due to dysfunctional family, narcissistic mother and history of abuse, as well as bullying. All in all, I truly feel like a bird in a world of foxes.. yet tries to make the world a better place. And I hate how I cannot make a significant contribution. (I know there are other INFJs who probably also feel the same way considering how uncommon inspiring humans are in the world and how prone we are to emotional distress).. Sometimes I wish I could turn off my emotions, they're just too much. I want the pain gone, I wish I could be more detached and aloof like my INTP friend. The world is just turning all of my strength points into weakness. The thought sometimes cross my mind to become the monsters that hurt me if that means I won't have to suffer anymore. But at the same time, that is against my strong values. I don't really want to change myself. I respect who I am and I actually love myself. For five years now, my non-existence has become my salvation. I long for the day I no longer feel pain, no longer overthink, no longer feel unrequited, and achieve eternal peace, the seemingly ultimate happiness. Why does it have to be so hard just being? It's tough enough being an INFJ and I'm also a type 1w2 at the same time (anyone else?).. sorry. I'd probably regret creating this thread soon. Ah. *facepalm*
I really appreciate it if anybody read until the end and I apologise if this seems very out of place. I have noticed how most discussions are over the theories and functions of 16 personalities and here I am with my sentimental concerns..