HiddenAutumn
New member
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2011
- Messages
- 66
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
Speaking of chick flicks, whenever I've known guys who don't seem embarrassed to watch or like a chick flick, it makes me think they're very confident and self assured.
Speaking of chick flicks, whenever I've known guys who don't seem embarrassed to watch or like a chick flick, it makes me think they're very confident and self assured.
I can see what you're saying Arclight. I think maybe that's why I'm only emotional when I'm alone. When I'm by myself I never keep my emotions in check, which can often lead to depression. When I'm around other people, I'm almost too good at controlling my emotions. Even my best friends have hardly ever seen me cry, which I actually do quite often, but no one would ever know.
I guess that kind of goes along with what animenagai was saying about having to present a tougher side of himself so he doesn't feel vulnerable. I'm the same way in a sense. So maybe it's not a guy thing, it's just human nature...or NF nature more likely.
Speaking of chick flicks, whenever I've known guys who don't seem embarrassed to watch or like a chick flick, it makes me think they're very confident and self assured.
Embarrassment is never the issue. Most chick flicks are kind of predictable and boring
(Nice Eye candy though)
Being vulnerable is the key. It would seem opposite at first sight, but that's only your defenses speaking. I've noticed that the more I am vulnerable, the more joy there is. So, it's not that people often see me hurt, I'm usually too happy for that. Of course, being vulnerable in this sense means also letting my intuitions (not the MBTI definition of intuition) guide me. So, it doesn't turn out like I go into difficult situations just to feel vulnerable.
I guess that kind of makes sense because when you're more willing to be vulnerable you are able to share yourself with others more openly and then relationships can grow stronger and emotional connections can be made
and you're probably willing to take more chances and so your goals are realized more often.
And that is definitely where I'm lacking. I am constantly trying to protect myself. I wish I could allow myself to be more vulnerable, but I don't know how. It's terrifying. Even on here sometimes.
Hmm... Yeah, that's probably true. But part of it is to be open to the possibility that the goal might not be attainable.
Many things we want come with such a price tag that it would be stubborn to continue on the same path.
What are you protecting yourself from? If you go through the logic behind protecting yourself, you'll probably see that it's a bad strategy.
Interesting thread! I'm not an NF, but T is my weakest function and I find myself somewhat relating to this. I don't cry much, but once in a while when something hits me inside, it really hits me - and it's like I can't hold it back. Later this year, I'm walking my sister down the aisle (in place of my father) and, yeah, that's the kind of situation that can cause me to get a little emotional - just the meaning behind it, the memories, etc. I recently got into this huge argument with an ESFJ family member of mine who went out of their way to say, "You can't get emotional at the wedding. You know that right?" I was like, "Huh? What are you talking about?" ESFJ says, "It's your sister's wedding - it's not your place to be emotional. It's her big day, not yours. Don't ruin it for her. If you feel like you need to cry, hold it back. Be strong for her." I was so freakin' dumbfounded by this it just blew up. I said, "First of all, I probably won't cry. Second of all, if the beauty of the moment hits me a certain way, I won't even be able to hold it back. It's like sneezing for me - I can't just 'not cry'. I could try - but there'd probably be a lot of snot involved - which would be even worse." It's not like I can just choose when I want to cry and when I don't. I understand the idea of being under control, composing yourself, etc. - but what is this obsession that society has with "not letting people see what you're really feeling/thinking"?
Like I said, I don't cry much, but when I need to - I need to. It's just something that wells up in me and has to come out. It is what it is, why should I fake it or try to hold it in and end up blowing snot bubbles? I don't know - the idea that you have to purposely suppress this stuff troubles me. Only when I suppress it am I being inauthentic. Know what I mean?
I guess I'm protecting myself from being misunderstood or judged by others. I know I'm different; I don't necessarily do things the way the average person would do them, or think the way the average person thinks, and while that's really not good or bad, when people have told you that you're strange enough times or implied that there's something wrong with you, you start to think there must be some truth to it. So the only way I can feel safe from other people's judgements is to not let them see the parts of me they wouldn't understand.
What do you mean by that? Like the price is sometimes too high to pay, so we should be willing to change our path if that's the case?
I myself think that my lonely time helped me about it ironically; not being constantly around people outside of family and internet contacts gave me enough time to think about things, regenerate energy and self-confidence and growing more comfortable with my real self.
this is an odd topic really because it all depends on how you measure masculinity...the last two nf men that i have been really close to have a really beautiful empathetic heart...there's a softness there but outwardly both are very masculine people....in stance and stature...mannerisms...presence...i don't know what words to use but definitely masculine.
Takeru, I'm now up to date with Kimi ni Todoke . So sweet! I can't get the confession scene out of my head.
Kazehaya's scene or
Or Chizuru's bittersweet moment?