[Traditional Enneagram] Love is Just a Wing Away

[Typh0n]

It's deeper than that...it really is.... I worked the whole thing out in my head last in night over a bowl of popcorn, but then I went to sleep and may have lost all my clarity on it.

It has to do with them being the cornerstone of the basic fixations all the others stem from, etc, etc, etc, and so they see themselves a lot in other types, plus descriptions fail to capture their variety (I hold these to be the most populous types, whatever stats say).

Right, because many people of these types mistype as other types anyways, you mean? Seems like these types are rather common, however I tend to be skeptical of making judgements like this without stats anyways, but you could be right.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Right, because many people of these types mistype as other types anyways, you mean? Seems like these types are rather common, however I tend to be skeptical of making judgements like this without stats anyways, but you could be right.

Yes.

 

[Starry]

Well, at least I am not sandwiched by bad boy types (get your mind our of the gutter). cp6s & 8s....eeeehh...
I think I like "good guys", but I am too temperamental for them (sometimes a love/hate with 1s & 2s, for example). 3s and 5s are sort of "morally neutral" people. I observe 4s more often paired with 5s, and otherwise 6s or 9s, and not so much with 3s.

haha I love this. bad boy sandwich!

 

[Redbone]

Hmm...I've been with a few 6s and while quite drawn to them, we just don't get along in the end.

Really nuts about a 3 once but yeah, just no. He may have been a 7w8...I don't know. I don't think I can keep up with or be what a 3 would want. I do get why how they are though.

Seeing a 5w4 now (sorry for typing you!) and we understand each other a great deal. I dated a 5w6 (INTJ) long ago and with both, they do tend to be...maybe like Iceland. Heat and cold all at once.

 

[Starry]

I mean, it would have to be a very independent 4w5 or a very calm/especially stable 6. Certain fictional 6s: possibly more than any other fictional type (eg Peter from Fringe, Martin Freeman's Watson, some others that aren't immediately coming to mind). And on paper, the 6 description can look pretty damn good, with the valuing loyalty and trust and whatnot. But my experience with 6s has been very different from what those fictional characters suggest it would be. (Not all, mind you, but the of the ones I've gotten relatively close to- it gets exhausting to constantly be on trial. Could be my experience has been disproportionately unfortunate.) And with 4s- again, I can get exhausted rather quickly if they need a lot of attention. I tend to do best with people who want the space/freedom to follow their own interests *and* who can give that same space/freedom to me without resenting me for it. There need to be interests in common, of course, in an organic/authentic way, for there to be a relationship- but beyond that, I need more space/freedom than the average bear.

For the record, not sure if I'm really more 5w4 or 5w6. But I'm fairly confident I'm 5.

This is such a great post.


One of the things that's super fun about being me is I want to be left to do my own thang (freedom from restraint 7, 8) all while being obsessed over for the goddess I am (4) and provided ongoing reassurance that I'm deeply loved and cherished (6). So cool.


This post also opens up doors for me in I wasn't considering actors and fictional characters (in this case 6s and 8s.) One of my favorite pastimes.


edit: Jason Momoa or however you spell is hot last name is hot. Oh he's 8w7 edit2 and wow that's a really big pic. didn't know that would be like that.

 

[Starry]

I would first have to be way surer of my Enneatype than I actually am to answer this question. Also to actually go on dates with people. I've thus far dated one person who might be a 9? (I haven't exactly gotten to know her well enough to figure out her enneagram honestly.). Plus was briefly a 2(w1?)'s cuddle buddy before she got dissatisfied with my "undying love"/pretension for someone else. I liked her a lot actually, probably would've gone really well if I bothered to pay attention.


I did briefly sort of date a self-typed 8w9 so/sx and it didn't go well at all after a brief period. She basically didn't like my tendency to need to question the things she said, and I didn't like that about her.

And lastly, there was the person I had a roughly week-long affair with. She seemed either reactive or 7 to me, but that might've been the Se. I didn't get to know her terribly well.

For you for this theory...8w9 and 1w2

 

[Starry]

I actually don't feel this connection at all.

If anything, I look at 9w8 and 2w3 and am both fascinated and repulsed by them. Not repulsed as in disgusted, but as in driven away. Like I can't get too close. Not sure why exactly.

You must be mistyped then haha. Isn't that love though EJCC? Being fascinated and repulsed at the same time? haha (actually I do think they say that successful relationships merely means you are both fascinated and repulsed with each other at the same time )

 

[Starry]

5w4 sounds good. 7w6, I don't think would be the right fit for me.

I like you.

 

[HongDou]

A person most compatible with me would either be a 3w2 or 2w1... I can see myself with a 3w2, but 2w1...? Nah, I think I would get on their nerves. I haven't been in a relationship with anyone of these types.

looking at what starry said in the OP, i think it's supposed to be 3w4 or 1w2 for you

 

[cascadeco]

You must be mistyped then haha. Isn't that love though EJCC? Being fascinated and repulsed at the same time? haha (actually I do think they say that successful relationships merely means you are both fascinated and repulsed with each other at the same time )

Haha, maybe this is true. Same as love/hate....you're certainly not neutral or 'meh' about the person!

 

[Starry]

Haha, maybe this is true. Same as love/hate....you're certainly not neutral or 'meh' about the person!

I don't think I got that phrased right but I'm so glad that you understand what I'm saying.


I understand the desire for peaceful relationships but I think you of all people will understand my desire for something real. We are not all pretty pictures. I want someone that will be repulsed by my ugly haha.

 

[Redbone]

I don't think I got that phrased right but I'm so glad that you understand what I'm saying.


I understand the desire for peaceful relationships but I think you of all people will understand my desire for something real. We are not all pretty pictures. I want someone that will be repulsed by my ugly haha.

Yeah definitely. And they see the ugly and give you a squeeze anyway!

 

[cascadeco]

I don't think I got that phrased right but I'm so glad that you understand what I'm saying.


I understand the desire for peaceful relationships but I think you of all people will understand my desire for something real. We are not all pretty pictures. I want someone that will be repulsed by my ugly haha.

hahaha! I will say, more turbulence and conflict/disagreements/misunderstandings cause me a fair amount of stress, but otoh a relationship that is 'flat' and completely predictable and routine is also very undesirable to me. It would be nice if the positives of passion and intensity and bonding could be present without the negatives of severe clashing or confusion/upset/who-are-you!!??. Ah, relationships.

 

[Starry]

Yeah definitely. And they see the ugly and give you a squeeze anyway!

Exactly. I should have added "But Starry...your ugly is the prettiest of all uglies"

 

[Starry]

hahaha! I will say, more turbulence and conflict/disagreements/misunderstandings cause me a fair amount of stress, but otoh a relationship that is 'flat' and completely predictable and routine is also very undesirable to me. It would be nice if the positives of passion and intensity and bonding could be present without the negatives of severe clashing or confusion/upset/who-are-you!!??. Ah, relationships.

Totally. I don't want to be on Jerry Springer. But I want to grow. I want to become the best person I can possibly become.

 

[Starry]

5w6 and 3w2? No. Like cascadeco, 5s are particularly frustrating for me.

For the most part, 678 is my happy place. Particular soft spot for 7w6s.

You would totally date Nico which tells me this theory is dead-on if Nico was a 5w6.

 

[Starry]

for me.

678 is my happy place. Particular soft spot for 7w6s.

Oh and this is the happiest of places though.

 

[Merced]

looking at what starry said in the OP, i think it's supposed to be 3w4 or 1w2 for you

Yuck, those both sound draining.

 

[Typh0n]

I get it Starry wants me to be 6w5.

 

[Duffy]

One of the things that's super fun about being me is I want to be left to do my own thang (freedom from restraint 7, 8) all while being obsessed over for the goddess I am (4) and provided ongoing reassurance that I'm deeply loved and cherished (6). So cool.

On the topic of mistypes, have you ever considered something other than 7w6? I have you @ 6w7cp-2w3/3w2-1w2. I could be wrong. The desire for freedom is a generic head triad problem.