joyful

[INTJMom]

I'm feeling pretty awesome right now. Just thought I would say so. I've been enjoying the Christmas music on the radio. The sun is shining. I earned money this week.

Every time I hear an ad on the radio about Christmas shopping, I am delighted with the fact that I'm already done. I'm just waiting for the stuff to be delivered so I can wrap it. I had 15 people on my list - well 25 really, but 10 of them we sent cash to, so they can buy whatever they want. Last year I spent over $50 just shipping stuff to them. That seems too inefficient and wasteful to me.

I had a good day at my job since my boss wasn't there. It always seems like it's 4 times more hectic when she's there. I guess it's because I develop a plan of attack, and she keeps interrupting me with things to do. It messes up my whole priority/urgency thing. I was really disturbed by a disgusting sexual spam that got through AOL's filter today.Sick people. Of course I didn't open it. The subject was sick.

When I left the office, I wished I felt like I had actually finished something today. But that's impossible. It's all about keeping plates spinning on tops of sticks. There's never anything finished... or worse... when my boss does something, she does it whether it's ready to be done or not. Finished or not, it's out the door. So it can be wrong immediately upon receipt. I hate that. I'm glad I'm not staying long at this job. It's not what I wanted at all. Besides my boss uses the f-word sometimes and swears now and then. It doesn't technically bother me, but I'll be glad when I'm not around it anymore.

So anyway. I have a lot to be thankful for. We have our health, a roof over our heads, food in the cupboards, money in the bank, clothes on our backs, DSL and a big screen tv. Life is complete.

I'm looking forward to music practice tonight, too. I hope it goes well. Unfortunately, I'm the best musician tonight, because the real best musician on the team isn't playing on Sunday. It puts a lot of pressure on my shoulders. My playing isn't that clean or precise. And I'm not the type that normally cares about presentation, so I don't care if it sounds plain, but the bar has been set higher than that, so there is pressure involved when I'm the lead instrument. Still I enjoy the chance to play with other musicians. I like the camaraderie. It's actually something I wanted throughout my life and always enjoyed when I had it.

 

[Salomé]

What instrument do you play?

 

[INTJMom]

I've been playing a 12-string guitar for over 30 years.
My mom bought it for me when I was 17.
It's an Alvarez Yairi which was handmade in Japan.
It's vintage now.

I play rhythm, no lead, and I sing.

I play mostly folk and country type music,
but I do a little 60's rock and roll also.
My audience is mostly silver-haired little old ladies.

My favorite music to listen to is pop music from the late 60's and early 70's.
I also love the crooners from the 40's and 50's.


I write songs, too.
I should post my Christmas song on youtube.

 

[Salomé]

You should - and post the link.
I'm sorry you feel you don't belong. But I guess if you've taken all you can take from this experience, then it may be time to move on.
I'm surprised I've stayed this long, but as you say - it is habit-forming.
Maybe you'll feel differently in the new year.

 

[INTJMom]

Argh!
I have been fussing with windows movie maker for over an hour
only to find out it doesn't actually save a slide show in a format youtube can use.
I'm done fighting with it now.
The recording isn't that great anyway.

I don't know what to say.
I don't feel free to post my true feelings.
I'm afraid people might ridicule me.
I guess they can just be glad they're not me.

I feel like staying away for the same reason I don't watch the news:
It's too depressing.
It's only depressing to me, not to anybody else.
And I don't feel like being depressed!

I'm sure I'll be lurking around.