[ISTP] ISTPs--Shy, Socially Anxious, Reserved?

[grendiecat]

Any of the above? Tend more toward being ______?

 

[6sticks]

Not shy or socially anxious. I'm not, anyway. Generally reserved. Sometimes very not reserved.

 

[wolfy]

Not shy, can be reserved. Socially anxious? Not really,unless I don't get the context.
Meeting someone unexpectedly often throws me.

 

[Hang]

My brother is an ISTP, I love him. He can be goofy around me, and never takes things seriously. But when going outside, he doesn't show any affection.

When a little child offered him a piece of candy, he took it without any remorse. When we were about to leave I saw that he sneaked the candy back to the child. I didn't know why he took it in the first place. But it shows me that he doesn't allow intamacy with anyone.

For all the years I've been with him, I havn't see him sharing any emotional bond with anything or anyone. But his motive, most of the times, was meant to do good.

 

[Sunshine]

My brother is an ISTP, I love him. He can be goofy around me, and never takes things seriously. But when going outside, he doesn't show any affection.

When a little child offered him a piece of candy, he took it without any remorse. When we were about to leave I saw that he sneaked the candy back to the child. I didn't know why he took it in the first place. But it shows me that he doesn't allow intamacy with anyone.

For all the years I've been with him, I havn't see him sharing any emotional bond with anything or anyone. But his motive, most of the times, was meant to do good.

What? Wow. My ISTP little brother definitely shares emotional bonds with people...cuz he shares one with me!

Those ISTPs are tricky creatures to read. I bet they got tons of stuff going on in their hearts all the time it's just that no one ever sees it.

 

[Colors]

Shy, Socially Anxious, or Reserved?

Sometimes all three! But usually just reserved. I try not to be though, cause then people sometimes think you're implicitly agreeing with them, or else read into silence in all sorts of other strange ways.

 

[alcea rosea]

My experience: reserved

 

[Randomnity]

I could see where introverts in general would tend towards all three, as I do, but I don't think shyness and social anxiety are confined to certain types. If anything I think ISTPs would be less prone to the first two than other introverted types, since they tend to worry less about what other people are thinking (I think).

 

[proteanmix]

My ISTP sister is quite the charmer, prankster and is always looking for the short route. I remember when she was trying to get her driver's license she kept failing the written part of the exam. After the third time, she snuck behind the desk somehow and got a hard copy of the exam, went back to take the exam and turned in that copy! I have so many more stories of her schemes.

It's hard for me to tell because she's my sister and is probably more open with me because I'm family but she doesn't seem shy. She's openly affectionate with us and her ISFJ boyfriend. I know a handful of ISTP women at my workplace and they seem quiet but not particularly shy.

 

["?"]

I am in agreement with most that I can be reserved. Not socially anxious at all. But this reminds me of something that I have read about INTJ, INFJ, ISTP and ISTJ who have all been described as introverts that are most misidentified as extraverts. I wonder whether the Chart the Course interaction style comes into play here? Maybe if Eric B picks up on this thread he can answer that since he seems to have a good grasp of Berens' system.

 

[alcea rosea]

But this reminds me of something that I have read about INTJ, INFJ, ISTP and ISTJ who have all been described as introverts that are most misidentified as extraverts.

I agree with this. In fact, I have been wondering the type of one introvert in the family for many years now. He is ISTP, ISTJ or INTJ. He is very unlikely INTP and very unlikely any F type. There is a huge difference between Ti, Si and Ni but I really cannot see his primary function. The secondary functions (Se, Te, Te) don't help either. Secondary is rather Te than Se but I still cannot see it. I have ruled other personality types mostly out of the picture. Introverted people can be soooooo difficult to understand.

 

["?"]

I agree with this. In fact, I have been wondering the type of one introvert in the family for many years now. He is ISTP, ISTJ or INTJ. He is very unlikely INTP and very unlikely any F type. There is a huge difference between Ti, Si and Ni but I really cannot see his primary function. The secondary functions (Se, Te, Te) don't help either. Secondary is rather Te than Se but I still cannot see it. I have ruled other personality types mostly out of the picture. Introverted people can be soooooo difficult to understand.

I like this thought Alcea, which goes along with my thoughts that contrary to theory the functions are not that easy to determine. As for the ISTP-ITJ family member, Berens says that Ni/Ti, and Se/Te are look-a-like functions. In my earlier thread, I was alluding to Berens' interaction style. Since all fore types mentioned are of that style, the reason for the extraverted appearance may lie with it.

 

[Algora J]

I haven't met an ISTP I didn't like.

They're warm, congenial, very smart people who can intuit what needs to be done before you even ask!

I adore ISTPs. They're also creative, very technically oriented and problem solve really easily. Working with them is easy. I wish more people were ISTPs.

ISFPs, on the other hand are very different. They always seem cold and unfeeling at first, mainly because society has taught them to hide their feelings, and to act more "rational". ISTPs in comparison are very communicative about their feelings and don't hold back on the analysis.

 

[Eric B]

I am in agreement with most that I can be reserved. Not socially anxious at all. But this reminds me of something that I have read about INTJ, INFJ, ISTP and ISTJ who have all been described as introverts that are most misidentified as extraverts. I wonder whether the Chart the Course interaction style comes into play here? Maybe if Eric B picks up on this thread he can answer that since he seems to have a good grasp of Berens' system.

I had just been in a discussion on another board with an ISFP talking about appearing extroverted. That type, along with the ISTP and INTJ you mentioned, are Pragmatic, which I had pointed out would add a measure of "expressiveness", and thus possibly appear extroverted. (Pragmatic or utilitarian is defined as "do what works", as opposed to "do what's right", so they would be quicker to do things, and then ask permission later).

Chart the Course is defined as "introverted" (along with "directing"), so you would expect the to be more reserved. But then, it is sometimes pointed out that "introversion" (as defined by having a dominant inward-turened cognitive function) does not always mean "shy" or "quiet". It simply means they are energized by the inner world. Berens' basic descriptions in her book on the Interaction Styles does not even specifically mention stuff like "quietness" or "shyness". (The portrait does mention being "private"). Yet, the inner focus usually does play out in them being more reserved.
Now, why the INFJ and ISTJ (who are cooperative) are included in that list (as well as it leaving off ISFP, along with INTP), I'm not sure.

So really, anybody of any type can appear extroverted, for whatever reason. Perhaps with the IJ's, it's more reactive. Like my father seems to be ISTJ, and to me growing up, he seemed pretty "extroverted". But that's because I was under his care, and basically on his turf. Now, he definitely fits the typical portrait of an "introvert". So perhaps it could be the aux. Te for the ITJ's. With the INFJ, it could be the Fe, but then that would also mean the INFJ. Perhaps the Ni has something to do with it as well?

 

[Grayscale]

i can definitely be reserved, although most of the time it's that i dont have anything to say or no reason to say it. the only social awkwardness tends to exist in others, especially when im intensely quiet (i suspect this makes especially extroverted people uncomfortable). lastly, im far from shy, although ive been incorrectly described as such a handful of times.

 

[millerm277]

In formal settings (school, work) or with a group of people I don't know well, I am very reserved, mostly because I have nothing to say. I am definitely not socially anxious or shy, as I have no problem with public speaking or talking to new people....it's just not something I go out of my way to do.

 

[alcea rosea]

They're warm, congenial, very smart people who can intuit what needs to be done before you even ask!

I don't get the warm feeling from ISTP's. I would call ESFJ or ENFJ a warm person.

 

["?"]

Thanks for your insights Eric. I will have to digest your thoughts and respond later. I do agree that extraverts can appear introverted and vice-versa, which is why dichotomies are so misleading. I did notice that no one has mentioned a word that Jung used quite often in describing introverts; tactiturn (which loosely connoted I guess may be parallel to being reserved).

 

[alicia91]

Shy - not really.

Social Anxiety - depends on the situation. If I'm going to be forced to socialize in a large crowd, with strangers, schmoozing, around a lot of extraverts then I may have some of that.

Reserved - definately though once I know people WELL, then I will open up to some extent. I've been trying to explore why I'm so reserved because it's really hindering my ability to make friends, and feel that I'm part of something. I tend to feel like an outsider much of the time but I know it's my fault because I can't take the next step and connect with people.

 

[istpunk]

I'm gonna say reserved, everything else is a lie as any type can be shy or socially anxious.

My dick is hard.