[ISTP] ISTPs--Shy, Socially Anxious, Reserved?

[yugyug]

Socially Anxious? Only when having to make a public speech.
Shy? Not really. That's my sister (INFJ).
Reserved? Definitely.

I have the superpower of invisibility, too. Nice feature.

 

[FrisbeeLad]

Those ISTPs are tricky creatures to read. I bet they got tons of stuff going on in their hearts all the time it's just that no one ever sees it.

That is one of the best quotes regarding ISTPs and emotions that I've seen in awhile from a non-ISTP on this forum.

Except...I'd change "all the time" to "often". It's not like we're full of drama, but there can definitely be a serious depth of emotion dwelling (hiding) in there.

 

[millerm277]

Those ISTPs are tricky creatures to read. I bet they got tons of stuff going on in their hearts all the time it's just that no one ever sees it.

I'd missed this, but it's very true. Combining our distrust of our emotions/how rapidly they can change, with the "reserved" traits of ours, means that 99% of our emotions stay inside.

 

[ptgatsby]

He has a diagnosed case of Social Anxiety Disorder.

Very quiet, but a true barrel o' laffs. He watches a group he is in and slips in little clever quips and unless you're listening closely you'll miss the joke.

He has the power of invisibility and can enter and leave a room with no one noticing. When he was little, someone was always saying, "Hey! Where did Matt go?"

Edit: The family was once eating in a restaurant together and the waitress nearly sat in his lap to attract his attention. She eavesdropped and picked up his name so every time she came to the table, she'd adress him, doin' the eye thing and the whole nine yards.

We were all going, "Matt, Matt. Ask her for her phone number."

He said he couldn't tell whether she liked him or not!

Mom? Is that you?

All jokes aside, that's a page out of my life. I also have social anxiety. I don't have too many issues being open with those I care about - my wife, sometimes family... but my version of "open" is not other people's, including my wife. I have way worse stories than the waitress story above... I was shockingly dense about female interest in me

You know you have issues when your INTJ mate complains about you never opening up

What is really going on inside just never comes out. That's the only way I can put it. Only once I feel comfortable can I let anything out. This is strangely at odds with how people see me - generally uncaring what other people think. The only times I really become myself, rather than hold myself back, is when I'm in the moment. Tends to be when I'm competing at something, or designing... When competing, I tend to relax, let my guard down, live in the moment. When designing, I'm more like a kid. A really annoying kid

 

[INTJMom]

I have 2 ISTP makes in my family.
They are kind of shy and reserved unless they are with people they know well.
Once they're comfortable, they are funny and easy to be with.

 

[lane777]

That's SO true about me. Mind-reading, quite. I don't know though. People don't seem to like either me. I'm too aggressive or too quiet- nobody's fooled either way.

I've noticed this with my ISTP buddy... very bold and in my face some days - then other days, so quiet I have to beat words out of him. I like him either way ... When he's aggressive, I get attention When he's quiet... I blab (not something I'm known for). I guess I find it fascinating, that side he brings out in me. But then I end up saying too much which has never been a problem for me before. It's just that I'm so thrown by his reserve, I become fully focused on figuring him out, I lose my guard and... and... I let secrets slip :blushing:

 

[millerm277]

When he's quiet... I blab (not something I'm known for). I guess I find it fascinating, that side he brings out in me. But then I end up saying too much which has never been a problem for me before. It's just that I'm so thrown by his reserve, I become fully focused on figuring him out, I lose my guard and... and... I let secrets slip :blushing:

This is probably half-intentional. I've never failed so far at getting to know what I wanted and more from someone, without them even realizing it. The good news for you, is that we keep our mouths shut...we just like to know stuff, for our own knowledge.

Also, if you aren't giving up what we want to know, we're very patient and good with "innocent" questions that we add up to get the picture we were trying to figure out.

 

[lane777]

This is probably half-intentional. I've never failed so far at getting to know what I wanted and more from someone, without them even realizing it. The good news for you, is that we keep our mouths shut...we just like to know stuff, for our own knowledge.

Also, if you aren't giving up what we want to know, we're very patient and good with "innocent" questions that we add up to get the picture we were trying to figure out.

Yeees I discovered early on you ISTP's are quite crafty. Knowing that hasn't helped much. I catch myself mid sentence and quickly clam up... but he won't let me get away with it

And getting people to talk is MY thing ....having the tables turned is... well...

 

[phoenity]

I've noticed this with my ISTP buddy... very bold and in my face some days - then other days, so quiet I have to beat words out of him. I like him either way ... When he's aggressive, I get attention When he's quiet... I blab (not something I'm known for). I guess I find it fascinating, that side he brings out in me. But then I end up saying too much which has never been a problem for me before. It's just that I'm so thrown by his reserve, I become fully focused on figuring him out, I lose my guard and... and... I let secrets slip :blushing:

Good thing for you I have no use for your secrets

Other than my own curiosity of course...

 

[lane777]

Good thing for you I have no use for your secrets

Other than my own curiosity of course...

*runs away screaming*

 

[phoenity]

*runs away screaming*

Don't scare!

Honestly, over the course of my life a lot of people I get close to have confided secrets in me. I'm not sure exactly what compels people to do this, because I never reciprocate sharing to that level.

 

[luminous beam]

in response to the title, yes, yes and yes

 

[hommefatal]

I'd say ISFP are more likely to be like that. But ISTPs tend to extremely dislike overly emotional behaviour.

 

[Litvyak]

I love ISTPs. Strangely, it's my second favorite type after ENFP.
I think they're the type I meet the least often, ISTPs are a mystery for me.

 

[ViCyniC]

I'm all three, though I'm not sure the first two are intrinsic to ISTPs. And I really like some of the stories here about being oblivious to advances or flirting from the opposite sex. I can relate.

Oh, and hi.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

I'm all three, though I'm not sure the first two are intrinsic to ISTPs. And I really like some of the stories here about being oblivious to advances or flirting from the opposite sex. I can relate.

Oh, and hi.

Hi and welcome to the forum!
If you go to Welcomes and Introductions and say hi to everyone, there will probably be lots more responses.

 

[BlackCat]

Hasn't got much to do with type. Anyone can be any of those three traits.

 

[OrangeAppled]

The ISTPs I've known seemed very comfortable in their own skin and conversed easily. I find them to come off as friendly & warm in a controlled manner. I almost confused them with a feeling person, until it was clear they were not emotional, just "pleasant".

The difference between them and ESTPs was that they seemed much more concerned with their "projects", be it artistic or mechanical, to the point where they might neglect their relationships. They liked to discuss these projects or activities, not make chit chat. They talked about what they do, not who they know (whereas ESTPs like to namedrop it seems...). As an introvert, I could relate to the way so much info could be condensed into a short time, because they didn't want to waste their energy in talking about trivial things.

 

[syckkz]

I'm a very reserved person to pretty much everyone except my girlfriend, who figured out a way that got me to let her be completely.. 96%.. close to me.. I still don't know how she managed that.

Everyone says that I'm a very shy guy, I've always been that way since a child.. I just find social settings awkward and a very uncomfortable.. even with family members. So I'm usually quick to retreat somewhere to be away from everyone.

 

[ViCyniC]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

Hi.

If you go to Welcomes and Introductions and say hi to everyone, there will probably be lots more responses.

Done.