[NT] INT's... How did YOU flirt today?

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

Wait... Does the OP mean for us to flirt in real life? I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. I'm going to stick to Internet ladies until I die.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

Wait... Does the OP mean for us to flirt in real life? I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. I'm going to stick to Internet ladies until I die.

 

[Amargith]

Wait... Does the OP mean for us to flirt in real life? I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. I'm going to stick to Internet ladies until I die.

Lol...Don't lose hope..I'm living proof that it is possible to find your lady online

 

[Neobick]

Wait... Does the OP mean for us to flirt in real life? I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. I'm going to stick to Internet ladies until I die.

Haha I wish I could flirt on the net even. The closest thing to that was when I was about 14-15 when I wrote semi-depressing poems on a swedish message-board with my msn as signature, talk about being sexually frustrated.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I found it's easier to flirt online. It gives you a chance to realize what works for you, what parts of you are most attractive. Then it's more comfortable to try to do it in real life.

 

[Tallulah]

I found it's easier to flirt online. It gives you a chance to realize what works for you, what parts of you are most attractive. Then it's more comfortable to try to do it in real life.

Very true. And it helps nerds connect with each other.

 

[Salomé]

Was that your daily flirting?

I don't flirt.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Stop it, Morgan! You're killin' me.

 

[ZPowers]

I don't flirt.

Succinct, this.

I also do not flirt. I converse regularly. I've few enough more-than-a-few-minutes-long conversations where the other party and I are both really enjoying it (and they aren't my longtime friend. Or male. And are in roughly my age group. Etc) for those alone provide a good starting point.

Probably not too effective a method, really, but that's alright.

 

[Salomé]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

 

[Moiety]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

I knew I was awesome.

 

[strawberries]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

your words. make me. want to. flirt. with you. sooo much. :hi:

 

[ragashree]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

You have no idea how much better that makes me feel

Stuff it?

At least buy me dinner first!

But, but I thought you rejected all these tired old social conventions and playing of roles?


Very well, how about if I said it was not a double, but a triple entendre, intended to query both the acceptance of the prior making of dinner (which can be assumed to be something that requires stuffing) and subsequent activity with the greatest possible conciseness? I think that if INTs can arrive at a mutually acceptable definition of terms used, this could represent a new paradigm in INT <---> INT goal oriented flirtational communication. Ultimate efficiency has been achieved!

 

[Tallulah]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

I think you do flirt, though. You may not call it flirting, but your banter (even when it shuts people down) could definitely be perceived as a form of flirting. I think it's a large part of why you are liked on the boards--the way you engage people. Your wit is your brand of flirtation, though you may not be flirting with any sort of intent. *shrugs* Now there are many NTs who are incapable of flirting. They only have the mode where they talk about their interests, bordering on lecturing people. Those are the non-flirters.

I don't care for the usual flirting--flattering each other, giggling, whatever. And there are many who take banter too far, and it becomes tiresome after a while. But for me, it's an absolute non-starter to try anything romantic with a fellow NT if they don't have some semblance of a flirt mode. It doesn't have to be the typical flirt mode. It can be kind of a goofy, playful, NTish flirting, or a biting, sarcastic flirting. But it has to show some personality and some interest in the other person. I got lots of mind-buddies. You gotta show me something else.

 

[ragashree]

Your wit is your brand of flirtation, though you may not be flirting with any sort of intent.

But would you say that wit - intent == flirtation? I thought the whole point of flirtation was that it did have intent in the form of sexually encouraging or alluring connotations, even if there was no expectation that the intent would be acted on (as is generally the case). Isn't humorous banter without this intent simply humorous banter? I'm sure that it can be taken as alluring too if it's coming from someone you're otherwise inclined to be attracted to, but if the intent to attract is not truly behind it, it seems hard to make the label of flirting stick.

 

[thescientist]

I feel guilty when I flirt with someone I don't really like

 

[Lady_X]

your words. make me. want to. flirt. with you. sooo much. :hi:

funny...i was about to make a flirty comment to it just to be ridiculous.

 

[Tallulah]

But would you say that wit - intent == flirtation? I thought the whole point of flirtation was that it did have intent in the form of sexually encouraging or alluring connotations, even if there was no expectation that the intent would be acted on (as is generally the case). Isn't humorous banter without this intent simply humorous banter? I'm sure that it can be taken as alluring too if it's coming from someone you're otherwise inclined to be attracted to, but if the intent to attract is not truly behind it, it seems hard to make the label of flirting stick.

I definitely see your point, and probably would have said the same thing in the past. I think there's sort of general flirting, engaging people, bantering back and forth for sport/fun. And then there's sexual flirting with intent. I'm not saying that people who flirt under the first definition should be held accountable for how others take their style of interaction (this is something ENFPs live with all the time). But I think it's still a form of flirtation--to me, people who outright don't flirt are usually incapable of engaging others in a playful manner.

I mostly "flirt" according to the first definition. And if it becomes clear that someone is taking my interactions with them as flirting with intent, I clarify so that they aren't hurt or confused later on. If I'm interested in you, my flirting becomes more targeted. I will look at you differently, make more of an effort to focus on you. You will know it's not just me being generally flirty/friendly.

A good example of an expert flirter according to the first definition is Pink. She has the ability to engage people in a fun and playful way, winning them over with her charm and wit. But she's not leading anyone to believe she's interested in them in the second way. I think that's a really positive example of flirting--not banal or trite. Sharing one's personality and bringing out the best in others.

 

[kelric]

Now there are many NTs who are incapable of flirting. They only have the mode where they talk about their interests, bordering on lecturing people. Those are the non-flirters.

*shamefacedly raises hand*

This (sadly) is me. I mean, I might have inadvertently flirted a few times (like on the fingers of one hand -- all with the same person... 20 years ago), but now? Just not something I have the... (combination of) opportunity/inclination/ability/feel for circumstances to do. I just tend to assume that anything I say that isn't "on topic" (not just online ) is inappropriate and will be considered intrusive.

I'm not a complete zombie when it comes to social niceties with strangers -- I say hi to employees of stores I go to, smile and nod to folks coming down the hall at work, say hi to fellow daily-train-commuters, etc. I talk to people at work, and occasionally with friends. But flirting? Hrmm... just doesn't happen.

So, roundabout way of getting on topic... I guess I *didn't* flirt this day (or year or decade).

 

[musicheck]

Does discussing math with a cute girl count as flirting?