[NT] INT's... How did YOU flirt today?

[ez78705]

I wish I could always skip the flirting part and get right down to business. My attempt to flirt turns out to be something very intense every time.

 

[Coriolis]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

^^ This.

I don't flirt, either; not sure I ever have. I do joke and banter from time to time, and occasionally indulge in the odd practical joke, but there is no sexual overtone to it, and it is not how I would approach someone I was interested in dating.

 

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

Genuinely, I don't see the point. It's a game for halfwits, cowards and fakes, as far as I can discern. Vacuous people. Not being skilled in flirtation is a sign of character, nothing to be ashamed of.
Flirts are boring at best, deceitful at worst, and irritating, mostly.

 

[Provoker]

I will offer advise that I read somewhere... huh don't flirt with people you are actually attracted to at first. Flirt with random store clerks...After we get better at this ridiculous nonsense, then we can set our sights on people we're attracted to.

 

[Neo.bahamut.r]

I love NTs, this thread is hilarious

For some reason I seem to be the kind of person who flirts indiscriminately without realizing it (perhaps it's that NF in me), that is until I find someone I'm really interested in. Either way, I do it to make people walk away smiling from any conversation they have with me.

If you're interested on working on flirting, perhaps you can set goals to flirt with complete strangers (little flirts). Practice spontaneously complimenting 3 separate people on something about them. If you keep that and possibly other little games up each day, it'll become habit and after that it's all down hill.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

You don't look that bad today. Gets'em everytime.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

You don't look that bad today. Gets'em everytime.

You silver-tongued devil, you!

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I mostly "flirt" according to the first definition. And if it becomes clear that someone is taking my interactions with them as flirting with intent, I clarify so that they aren't hurt or confused later on. If I'm interested in you, my flirting becomes more targeted. I will look at you differently, make more of an effort to focus on you. You will know it's not just me being generally flirty/friendly.

Could you give an example, please? I can't seem to make it over the hurdle of actually making my flirting attempts OBVIOUS. I feel... scared? Stupid? Assuming?? I don't even know what the word would be. I do know that I tend to treat everyone with that same "playful-banter-that-gets-annoying" kind of thing... but anything more overt I can't seem to manage. In fact, if anyone did wonder if I liked them, they'd think 'Well... but she does that with everyone...' or even worse, I start avoiding them altogether.

You don't look that bad today. Gets'em everytime.

LOL!

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

(I'm glad my actions are being positively reinforced.)

 

[copperfish17]

Today, I walked straight up to an INFJ dude I find adorable and gave him a HUG.

I'm going to blatantly ignore the fact that he seemed to be very, very taken aback.

HA! In your FACE!

 

[runvardh]

Today, I walked straight up to an INFJ dude I find adorable and gave him a HUG.

I'm going to blatantly ignore the fact that he seemed to be very, very taken aback.

HA! In your FACE!

You shocked him a little; it happens to INs, especially when they're not at all ready for such a thing to happen.

 

[Stevo]

I don't even know where to begin with flirting. Although maybe I should work on actually approaching new people before I start thinking about flirting with them. I am terrible at making the first move on anything.

 

[Tallulah]

Could you give an example, please? I can't seem to make it over the hurdle of actually making my flirting attempts OBVIOUS. I feel... scared? Stupid? Assuming?? I don't even know what the word would be. I do know that I tend to treat everyone with that same "playful-banter-that-gets-annoying" kind of thing... but anything more overt I can't seem to manage. In fact, if anyone did wonder if I liked them, they'd think 'Well... but she does that with everyone...' or even worse, I start avoiding them altogether.

Well, it has to be going well, and I have to be getting vibes from them. I can't turn a non-flirty situation into an outright flirty-obvious situation, because I start to get self-conscious. But I tend to sort of look at them slyly and smile, like I have a secret or something. I lean in to hear what they have to say more, sit closer than I would normally. It's not like wearing a sandwich board advertising my interest, but it's definitely enough for them to know they're the target of my flirtation, instead of the generic playful banter everyone else gets. And you kind of have to forget you're an NT for a moment, and just be a woman. B/c the NT in you will tell you you're being too obvious or making a fool of yourself. This doesn't mean become a vapid Sex & the City-bot. Just let loose more than you would in say, a laboratory.

 

[copperfish17]

You shocked him a little; it happens to INs, especially when they're not at all ready for such a thing to happen.

I'm going to relish in the fact that he hugged me back.



When I saw him later today though, he greeted me (as opposed to ignored me) with a smile and a hey. So... now what?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Good question... I hear you're suppose to say hi back, but I've never really tried it.

 

[copperfish17]

Good question... I hear you're suppose to say hi back, but I've never really tried it.

Me neither! What a coincidence! It must be fate!



I barely managed a facial contortion that will -hopefully- be construed as a smile by that INFJ.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Hmmmmm... try the hug again (if you can muster the courage) and THEN say hi... put'em together.

 

[Weber]

Yes, keep on huggin' until he caves in. Resistance is futile. He will be assimilated.

 

[Amargith]