Are you being deliberately cryptic as an aggressive tactic?
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The idea of becoming more cryptic in conflict is unsettling and unnatural in my perspective. It is inefficient from an emotional standpoint because it is unlikely to resolve the conflict, but could work as a dominating tactic.
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I wonder if INFJs have a wider range of potential behaviors because of the whole Ni-dom part of their personality?
Good call.
There are two kinds of NF men, the ones who are comfortable with their feminine nature, and the ones who are not. The latter kind are given to neuroses and a defensive sort of aggression or passive-aggression.
I’m going to say the same thing about state that I said about Kalach: it’s my experience that Ni doms with advanced degrees in philosophy just sound cryptic. When you’re in an environment where articulating abstract concepts takes on the edge of being a competitive sport, it’s just what happens.
This seems like a pretty inflexible, not to say, elitist approach. It's also rather foolish (if one's goal really is clear communication) to employ that style outside of the appropriate domain and irrespective of audience. If we are to assume that we are not talking about foolish people here, what other motive might they have for purposeful obscurity?
I would propose that your friend still has much to learn about those "effective habits".
I don’t know, I was taken aback just now in reading the presumption that it could be a “dominating tacticâ€- just because I’ve been friends with state for a couple years now and I don’t see it (and I do find male entitlement repulsive, on top of being a total J- so if I’d noticed anything like that before in him I’d remember). Cryptic, yes. Possibly even a bit hot-headed. But I don’t think some of the insinuations being made are fair.
I note you're not similarly taken aback by the insinuations made about me. But then, you've already made your mind up after just two interactions. How fabulous to be so very sure of yourself!
Actually, his post didn't make me angry, despite how insulting and condescending it is. I like it when people express themselves in unconventional ways - even when they're way off-base.
Yours does. It fucking blows my mind.
Something to keep in mind is that Js (especially IJs) aren’t just reacting to what’s being said in the immediate moment, we tend to react to our entire experience of a person. I guess I can see how this looks like “prejudice†(especially if past experience of a person fades almost immediately for you- then you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to have that linger and color your present experience), but the term “prejudice†infers there’s something decidedly inaccurate and/or irrational about it.
It is both inaccurate AND irrational. It looks like prejudice because it IS prejudice. And here's how that happens: You get hold of the wrong idea based on a throwaway or impersonal remark which you wrongly interpret as personal criticism and which hurts your feelings. You're too aloof/proud/sure of yourself/ whatever to seek clarification, so you just fester in your misunderstanding. You've made your mind up about the person and from now on you will dismiss anything they say based on irrational personal dislike, rather than being able to examine it dispassionately, on its own merits. You will look for anything that backs up your prejudice and dismiss anything that doesn't, just to keep you secure in your judgement.
Reacting to your "entire experience of a person" when the sum total of that experience consists solely of your own / second-hand distorted perceptions and imaginings with absolutely no personal contact, IS prejudicial. You are allowing your preconceived ideas about that person's worth or integrity to colour your estimation of everything they say. You are actively closing yourself off from new information. You are preventing yourself from having an opportunity to revise your judgment or broaden your mind. It is the height of intellectual dishonesty and laziness. Not to mention, profoundly discourteous.
I’m pretty sure the “always play the villain†is more about cumulative experience of salome
How unlike you to be pretty sure of something you know fuck all about.
I have had almost nothing to do with this character, other than complimenting his posts in rep (when I can steel myself to read/parse them.) What could he possibly hope to achieve by responding in that way? Do you think he's genuinely interested in understanding me, or do you think he just didn't want to miss the opportunity for a condescending reprimand? Be honest now.
It’s totally available to think we’re annoying as hell (and to go on and on and on about how completely annoying we are)- but we’re Js and comments like that get filed and accumulate. [eta: it's worth mentioning that I do think it's unfortunate salome seems to hate us with the fire of a thousand burning suns, ]
What. The. Fuck? Are you insane or just vindictive?
I wonder why
this thread didn't manage to "get filed" in your book of reckoning? What's that? Because it didn't reinforce your prejudice? Ah, yes, of course.
FTR, INFJ women are the *only* group I have ever singled out for praise in that way. I still endorse those sentiments. However, you aren't perfect. And your judgments certainly are not, whatever you might want to believe. That's probably the biggest lesson for you to learn, and at least partially accounts for the range of differences fia observed.
Edit. In the "which type produces the best posts?" thread, I voted INFJ. Most, if not all the people I've nominated to be moderators on this forum are INFJ. I gush, endlessly, about how much I admire NFs, and from all this you glean that I "hate you with the fire of a thousand burning suns"?
That's one helluva persecution complex you have right there.
I don't hate any type, though I find myself least compatible with INTJs. By extension, I struggle with the J mindset, in general. This is not hatred, in fact I have often envied many of the attributes of Jness. But I can both admire something / one and not want to live with it, or even be around it for extended periods. Quite often, I find Js frustrating to deal with, it's an experience much like this:
(and they find me similarly frustrating) and so it's best that we don't get in each other's way too much.
It actually surprises me that this is not a common pattern, and that Ps and Js are frequently attracted to each other. I have the kind of brain that is always looking for patterns and trying to explain inconsistencies. In this thread, the most obvious pattern / inconsistency is that the Male INTP + Female INFJ combination is something of a hit, whereas the reverse is seldom so. All we have to speculate upon to explain this inconsistency are the complications of gender roles, which is why I have been so doing. Perhaps if you read my comments in this light you will understand what I am doing is promoting and refining a theory, rather than engaging in some mad hate campaign.
)
When someone behaves consistently quite untypically of their type, though...that makes me wonder.
