[INTJ] INTJ Intimidation

[MonkeyGrass]

People misread my INTJ on a regular basis, thinking he's interested in what they're saying (when he's got his polite glazed facade going on, but inwardly would like to kill them for being so stupid), or thinking he wants to kill them when he's actually just thinking about what they're saying because it's intelligent. Or if he's hungry.

I've accused him of being heartless before, but that's just because I know he really isn't, and I was angry that he wasn't making a effort to express himself. I've never been intimidated. INTJs are more like an excellent challenge. In a good theoretical conversation, they can keep up (and usually then some). It's like flying. They just need someone to make them feel comfortable enough to participate, after you've convinced them you're not as dumb as a bag of hammers.

 

[WoodsWoman]

INTJs have what appears to me to be the ability to direct their attention sharply. Those of them who aren't aware of this can cause me to feel like a bug on a pin in about 20 seconds... some learn to default to glances, but even these have an edge to them. Sniper eyes when no emotional info leaks through at all - but can be incredibly persuasive when that tiny thread of laughter... or something warmer... is detected.

I have come to realize that it isn't intentional and that the gruffest exterior is usually a shell - it just that some shells take longer to win trust through than others.

 

[Kra]

INTJs have what appears to me to be the ability to direct their attention sharply. Those of them who aren't aware of this can cause me to feel like a bug on a pin in about 20 seconds... some learn to default to glances, but even these have an edge to them. Sniper eyes when no emotional info leaks through at all - but can be incredibly persuasive when that tiny thread of laughter... or something warmer... is detected.

I always figured it must be the standard NT "cold eyes" that intimidated people even in the midst of me trying to be friendly.

I've been told I have "dead eyes" on multiple occasions.

 

[Litvyak]

I've accused him of being heartless before, but that's just because I know he really isn't.

Awesome idea, I hope you've got the results I'd expect from an INTJ.

 

[SillySapienne]

I always figured it must be the standard NT "cold eyes" that intimidated people even in the midst of me trying to be friendly.

I've been told I have "dead eyes" on multiple occasions.

Hmmm, perhaps the people who've told you this have bad eyes, for it's been my experience that INTJs have intense eyes... really intense.

Hahahaha, seriously, it's like you guys have eyes that not only see, but also suck in souls.

Intelligent/deep people, regardless of their type, have multi-dimensional eyes, and transmit a level of insight and intensity that less intelligent/deep people do not.

 

[Jaguar]

Intelligent/deep people, regardless of their type, have multi-dimensional eyes, and transmit a level of insight and intensity that less intelligent/deep people do not.

I don't think it means we're intelligent. Deep, yes.
Someone once said, "Has anyone ever told you you don't look at people, you look through them?"

And he was right, actually. I don't look "at" people, which implies just the surface.
My eyes drill right to the core of a person because it's who I am.
I plumb the depths.

 

[Andy]

Ummm out of curiosity what do you usually look like? Those are pretty extreme responses...

I don't find INTJs intimidation, merely aloft for the most part. But then again, so am I, so I'm fine with that. I've interacted with many many INTJs though, all of them seem to be like that. So I'd say that's probably not typical judgment.

Examine at his picture, that's what he looks like.

I don't get quite such extreme reactions, but I have been refused entry to pubs and clubs in the past. I hardly ever go to such places, either. A co-worker once said I look like someone who might start trouble.

 

[Andy]

Hmmm, perhaps the people who've told you this have bad eyes, for it's been my experience that INTJs have intense eyes... really intense.

Hahahaha, seriously, it's like you guys have eyes that not only see, but also suck in souls.

Intelligent/deep people, regardless of their type, have multi-dimensional eyes, and transmit a level of insight and intensity that less intelligent/deep people do not.

I think intense is the correct word. I've noticed that my gaze can bother people. I think part of the problem is that so often we pay little attention to people, so when we suddenly snap to the other extreme it startles people. It draws a "Shit! What did I do?" response.

 

[tinkerbell]

I use to think that it was my dry humor and sarcasm, but I've had waitresses stop in their tracks on the way to the table and then say something to the extent of, "Why are you looking at me like you hate me," when all I did was glance in their direction. This hasn't been an issue in awhile really, but I still find it interesting.

That bolded bit made me laugh,

I do have symapthy for you. My Dad was an INTJ, and my best mate is an INTJ (woman)...

My dad was really not much of a socaliser, and my best mate can be quiet scary... She has been know to smack blokes if they get fresh with her.

I'd sa it's the emotional restraint that doesn't give other people a hook to latch onto you with. There is a book I read a few years back (correction, I flicted through), it was a bit hippy, all about silent power, that people who don't do the verbal drivel actually maintain the power of engagment - ie people are left wondering what is going on in your head... I'm guessing this can be intimidating and may feel manipulative (although the INTJs I know are not at all manipulative) - almost like if you can't figuroue out what is going in a persons head - they have to be up to no good.

I like that INTJs take time to warm to people, it makes them worthwhile to know

 

[Metamorphosis]

How random, I was just thinking about this thread yesterday and it gets bumped. So, myself and Hexis were at work the other day and we get a call from our boss (in California) informing us that maybe we have an "unfriendly attitude" and we're "scaring people away."