[Traditional Enneagram] Instinctual Variants tard moments

[Mind Maverick]

There is a thread for MBTI sensotard moments and it's pretty fun but I wanted to make one for Ennneagram's IV's.

My IV-tard moment of the day is wanting to navigate certain group dynamics and climb but not knowing how. I prefer groups over 1 on 1 these days, depending on the group, but I can get insecure about my place within it if I don't see myself as being as well-liked as others. I'm not insecure about myself from it, just insecure about my position in it. It's stupid that I care so much and I will sometimes opt for the black sheep / lone wolf role, maintaining a certain aloof independence, just because it's my comfort zone. I'm not really accepting that from myself though, I'm forcing myself out of it and seeing it as a challenge.

Feel free to be silly or not as "vulnerable" as I was here (or most would call it vulnerable, I do not feel vulnerable). This is just an Enneagram version of this thread: Sensotard moments

 

[Pessimistic Hippie]

First thing that comes to mind is when one of my exes and I were in the car with a group of his friends some years back. I was a huge homebody back then and didn't realize that socializing meant finding a way to talk to the entire group. So I kept only pointing out things to him the whole time and wondered why he was being so short with me, completely unaware of what the people around us were doing.

Later on when I was worried I did something wrong and asked him why he was being so different, he explained. xD

 

[Klaus V.]

First thing that comes to mind is when one of my exes and I were in the car with a group of his friends some years back. I was a huge homebody back then and didn't realize that socializing meant finding a way to talk to the entire group. So I kept only pointing out things to him the whole time and wondered why he was being so short with me, completely unaware of what the people around us were doing.

Later on when I was worried I did something wrong and asked him why he was being so different, he explained. xD

I can relate a lot to this. My childhood friend once told me that sometimes when we are in social situations I act as if everyone else were NPCs except for him. Not something I'm particularly proud of, but most of the time I don't see the value in treating others just as I treat my friends/close ones. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to focus on that many people, and being in a group almost always stresses me out unless I'm familiar with everyone, but even then, I might not be fully comfortable.

 

[SirCanSir]

I used to have an issue with focusing too much to one person to the point i would miss the chance to get to know the rest of the group when i participated. I also find myself having issues to fit in the dynamics because of it. Ive always had a hard time at adapting to the group's "character" when i tried. That said I think i had awareness of the dynamics or atleast I grew to be very observant of those. So i usually can understand who is the mobilizing element of the group, i just hardly care enough to let it affect me. But because of that lack of interest in adapting to a group's mood my usual approach is either to ignore certain individuals by focusing on the more interesting ones or to change the pace myself to maintain interest. When in energetic mood i go for the second option, otherwise ill stick to what is the most comfortable to me - which is ignoring the group.

 

[SirCanSir]

i think the only alternative to my variants is Sx/sp but im probably too contained to type as that. Besides i definitely dont want to be the "teenage girl in love" type.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Besides i definitely dont want to be the "teenage girl in love" type.

Lmao, now I'm going to start typing you as this.

 

[SirCanSir]

Lmao, now I'm going to start typing you as this.

Time to plot murder.

 

[Mind Maverick]

There is a thread for MBTI sensotard moments and it's pretty fun but I wanted to make one for Ennneagram's IV's.

My IV-tard moment of the day is wanting to navigate certain group dynamics and climb but not knowing how. I prefer groups over 1 on 1 these days, depending on the group, but I can get insecure about my place within it if I don't see myself as being as well-liked as others. I'm not insecure about myself from it, just insecure about my position in it. It's stupid that I care so much and I will sometimes opt for the black sheep / lone wolf role, maintaining a certain aloof independence, just because it's my comfort zone. I'm not really accepting that from myself though, I'm forcing myself out of it and seeing it as a challenge.

Feel free to be silly or not as "vulnerable" as I was here (or most would call it vulnerable, I do not feel vulnerable). This is just an Enneagram version of this thread: Sensotard moments

I grow too fast. Already got over this.

 

[fatgurl]

There is a thread for MBTI sensotard moments and it's pretty fun but I wanted to make one for Ennneagram's IV's.

My IV-tard moment of the day is wanting to navigate certain group dynamics and climb but not knowing how. I prefer groups over 1 on 1 these days, depending on the group, but I can get insecure about my place within it if I don't see myself as being as well-liked as others. I'm not insecure about myself from it, just insecure about my position in it. It's stupid that I care so much and I will sometimes opt for the black sheep / lone wolf role, maintaining a certain aloof independence, just because it's my comfort zone. I'm not really accepting that from myself though, I'm forcing myself out of it and seeing it as a challenge.

Feel free to be silly or not as "vulnerable" as I was here (or most would call it vulnerable, I do not feel vulnerable). This is just an Enneagram version of this thread: Sensotard moments

Wow, the statements in bold are exactly what I'm like. What's your instinctual stacking? I'm confused about whether or not I could possibly be so blind since I'm socially anxious.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Wow, the statements in bold are exactly what I'm like. What's your instinctual stacking? I'm confused about whether or not I could possibly be so blind since I'm socially anxious.

Oi interesting, nice to meet someone who relates. I currently type as Sx/So. I used to type as Soc IV blind but it was mainly social anxiety I think. I don't really have social anxiety anymore and I consistently prefer groups over individuals and am very team oriented now. On Discord I'm like WAH, DON'T DM ME I prefer servers and stuff, and try to integrate others into my social circle when there are individuals I care about. I almost sound So/Sx from that, but I type as Sx first for other reasons. Maybe I am So/Sx tho.

 

[fatgurl]

Oi interesting, nice to meet someone who relates. I currently type as Sx/So. I used to type as Soc IV blind but it was mainly social anxiety I think. I don't really have social anxiety anymore and I consistently prefer groups over individuals and am very team oriented now. On Discord I'm like WAH, DON'T DM ME I prefer servers and stuff, and try to integrate others into my social circle when there are individuals I care about. I almost sound So/Sx from that, but I type as Sx first for other reasons. Maybe I am So/Sx tho.

For me, it's like the opposite. I'll find individuals in the social circle that I'm specifically interested in and try to get closer to them and try to get them alone, lol. I never used to count talking to people online as socializing but I realize I do it extremely often. It's like I use it as a substitute for real-life interactions. Also breaking away from the stereotype of introverts not being sx/so or so/sx.

 

[Mind Maverick]

For me, it's like the opposite. I'll find individuals in the social circle that I'm specifically interested in and try to get closer to them and try to get them alone, lol. I never used to count talking to people online as socializing but I realize I do it extremely often. It's like I use it as a substitute for real-life interactions. Also breaking away from the stereotype of introverts not being sx/so or so/sx.

Yeah, I don't think it's a good substitute for RL interactions but I don't socialize much in RL myself, mostly online, especially in voice chat. If I had local friends I'd probably do more of a combination but still spend most of my time alone.

I think it's perfectly possible for introverts to be Sx/So or So/Sx and I am introverted as hell myself. I just don't have the social energy to be a main entertainment source, talk a lot, or stick around forever in these situations. Sometimes I'm like "Ok I'm going to go listen to music, seeya" and I dip because my batteries are low. I'm also known for being quiet. I depend upon my more extroverted peers to do the talking and entertaining and I chime in as well as contribute to things behind the scenes more or less. Even this though is a case of extreme introversion and not every introvert will be like this, I just fall on that extreme side of the spectrum.