Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Instinctual Stacking and Love Language

[Mia.]

Just thought it would be fun to see if there is any correlation between one’s primary love language and primary instinctual variant.

Here’s the love language test: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

I’m sx and I always tie between quality time and words of affirmation, with physical touch a very close second (I guess as an sx I might be greedy in terms of these three? ) The other two are much farther down the line, but gifts is way above acts of service, which hardly registers at all.

Feel free to discuss.

Don't forget to vote.

 

[SoraMayhem]

I'm sp/sx and I'm tied with quality time and physical touch, acts of service being a close third.

 

[Phoenix]

Hmm .. I'm an sx/sp and my love language is: 1. Words of Affirmation, 2. Quality time, 3 Acts of servitude.

I'm also a 3w4 and therefore words of affirmation makes perfect sense with regards to why it's my highest. My need for validation is very high.

 

[1487610420]

sx/sp - QT, PHY, WOA.

 

[Mia.]

Don't forget to vote guys. We need it for research purposes and.... stuff.

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

sp/so - PHY, QT, WOA.

 

[SoraMayhem]

Funny that no sp types have acts of service in the lead, that would be my guess.
Sx, I would imagine to be physical touch, and so probably quality time.

 

[Winds of Thor]

I didn't vote but I'll put my things here.

I'm Sx dom.
Quality Time and Physical Touch are highest. Then Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation are very closely second, with WOA being one point less. Then Gifts almost insignificant with 1 point.

I didn't feel voting did the other areas enough service so I didn't vote.

 

[Totenkindly]

Sx or sx/sp, (1) quality time and (2) touch.

 

[Forever_Jung]

sp/sx: My top 3 were really close

1. Quality Time
2. Touch
3. Words of Affirmation

And the gift/practical categories were almost empty

I notice that sp subtypes have voted for my top three, but not for my bottom two. A pattern seems to be emerging, but it's too early to say.

 

[Trunks]

I'm sp/sx and I know what I want:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Physical touch

Words of affirmation is my priority..I dislike being in the position of uncertainty..

 

[Such Irony]

10 Words of Affirmation

10 Quality Time

3 Receiving Gifts

5 Acts of Service

2 Physical Touch

I think I'm either SP or SO variant.

 

[gromit]

I'm sp/sx and I know what I want:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Physical touch

Words of affirmation is my priority..I dislike being in the position of uncertainty..

Ah I think I am also sp/sx, and mine are similar. Quality Time, then Physical Touch, then Words of Affirmation. But really, I like all of the love languages.

 

[Kasper]

It's practically a 3-way tie for me between quality time, physical touch and receiving gifts, all of them to me can indicate love.

 

[Amargith]

Sx-so here. Physical Touch is vital to me, with Words of Affirmation as a close second and Quality time not far behind.

 

[CzeCze]

When I think "acts of service" it reminds me of 2 separate ISFJs (who don't really know each other at all) who took time to clean someone's oven as a show of love. In one case, it was a daughter who routinely does this for her mom when she visits. In another, it was a guy trying to win the affection of another guy. Personally, I didn't get this myself, as in acts of service are not really how I primarily show love. I would be more likely to pick up sweets or snacks that I know someone likes and are hard to get or agree to go to some show or event that I don't really want to go to. I remember an INFP I dated I think showed love this way too, but often would not necessarily state "this is a pain in the ass for me, but I'm doing it for you because I like you". I think this led to the problem later of her feeling like I was unappreciative, but honestly, I didn't know she was doing any of this stuff 'out of love'.

My results:

8 Words of Affirmation
9 Quality Time
2 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch

Funny thing is, "GIVING gifts" is a big one of mine to show life/affection/etc. Maybe it's Ne but if I see something and it reminds me of someone or I know "they'd love it" I want to buy it and give it. Not big expensive gives, but thoughtful, heck "cute" gifts that will be appreciated and will resonate with that person. Physical touch from friends and family is not so needed, but absolutely from a partner. I guess all my physical touch needs are fulfilled by a partner...and pets. And yes, I do acts of service for others too. I see those more as a duty thing and those things don't/shouldn't call attention/require thanks. It's my Asian upbringing.

Quality Time to me is giving the best of yourself fully to someone/some people/a period in time. It is the way I primarily enjoy showing and being shown loyalty, commitment, and affection from friends and lovers. Along with 'words of affirmation'. I guess I assumed that was most people though, as "hanging out" and "chatting" are the two main ways people become friends and lovers??

so/sx

 

[Coriolis]

I'm sp/sx and prefer quality time first, acts of service second.

 

[Reverie]

You need a multiple choice poll.
sx/ so

Your Scores
8 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch

 

[cascadeco]

sp-dom

1.Quality Time
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation

(physical and words are probably a close tie, but since over the years I've found words can be cheap and lack of words doesn't imply lack of feeling, I'm not sure where I stand on it anymore)

 

[Randomnity]

sp-dom, probably sp/sx.

Physical touch is probably a few points over quality time, but both are absolutely essential. Acts of service is probably next, then the rest.