351Stang: Yea, adrenaline helps me to get myself going too. Actually, it's probably one of the things that are most effective. I usually have problems with starting things, but when I start, then there's no problem. So yes, adrenaline helps with getting me going when I'm down (mentally of physically). What kinds of extreme sports have you done?
Sarah: I wrote the topic and I thought afterwards that it's probably too vague.
I don't know how to really explain it. I've just been thinking about some things lately (well "lately" is the last 3 years

), and I just feel like I am wasting my time. I know this sounds kind of depressive, but I'm not depressed. It's just that there are so many things I want to do and need to do. If, you know, I'd die tomorrow, my life would've been a waste. I put off doing things that I really want to do because in reality, I'm scared shitless and have all these stupid insecurities. I am not living. I want to really live, and feel things and experience things. I read these stupid books to fool myself, and dream all these dreams to comfort myself. Anyway, I just don't want to waste my life. I don't want to be an old, regretful lady, wishing she'd done this and that. I have high standards for myself. I dunno if they're too high, should I lower them, or should I keep them as they are and still try to accomplish them? I don't want to be a president or anyting like that, but I just want to do these specific things. I just don't know how to get over myself.
So, basically, this thread is kind of pointless because I'm searching for something outside of me to inspire me.
I know it's Christmas and New Year's and all. But it's not because of the holidays I'm writing this. It's just been on my mind on and off for a long time. I don't know what to do with myself
Probably tomorrow Ill tell myself wtf did you write that for

, and think that these kinds of thoughts are silly. Just live your life as it is and that's all. But all this still stays in the back of my head. It's like I have both this hard-core dreamer and an ultimate cynic in me.
Anyway, I don't want to be depressive. I'm not depressive at all. I am full of joy and energy, actually. I guess I'm just scared and don't believe in myself enough.

I'm probably not coming back to this board
