Anja
New member
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 2,967
- MBTI Type
- INFP
Hey, heart. You've changed your type. Congratulations! You sure didn't seem like a Jay to me.
Lookit that. Sumpin popped out of my subconscious!
You can write this one off.
Hey, heart. You've changed your type. Congratulations! You sure didn't seem like a Jay to me.
Emotionally? Yes, though if something still needs to be done I'm better off with out having the emotions in the way. You would say I almost function better in those situations. Things seem clearer...
This is something I can relate to as being something that happens to me more than the average person. It has come up in relationships and caused confusion because whenever things start getting emotional, I retreat into detachment from my own feelings. Anyone who has lived with me can verify that I don't argue. That is a side effect of what I am talking about. Being able to distance myself from emotions when they could affect my choices and experience has been my best survival strategy for many years. I developed it as a teenager many years ago. It developed as a counterbalance to pain that threatened to overwhelm. When I would slip into deep depression, I would start analyzing a pattern on the wall, or the movement of an insect, or anything. I would still feel the pain, but in tandem with a certain calm. When I see someone else slipping into emotional trauma, I try to help them find that same place of calm and detachment, but a couple times it really backfired. In the end it worked because I had the presence of mind to hear what they were feeling rather than saying and was able to respond in a reassuring way to calm them down as well. In a word, the detachment makes the communication worse until it can switch focus back to the other person's feelings and communicate on that level which I am still working on improving. My mistake comes when I make a concerted effort to communicate more precisely at those times when the emotional person needs absolution and reassurance which imply much broader sweeping statements that everything is alright without being too precise about the breakdown of the ideas.
I often find words aren't enough in that situation. Unfortunately for me I have a real aversion to touching people, unless they are close to me personally, and even then it's difficult for me. It pains me at times when I know a hug would speak volumes, how ever that is only ever reserved for people who would register the significance, inspite of how awkard a hug it may be.
This is something I can relate to as being something that happens to me more than the average person. It has come up in relationships and caused confusion because whenever things start getting emotional, I retreat into detachment from my own feelings. Anyone who has lived with me can verify that I don't argue. That is a side effect of what I am talking about. Being able to distance myself from emotions when they could affect my choices and experience has been my best survival strategy for many years.
Do you detach emotionally in moments of crisis?