[INFP] INFPs and the "disappearance" syndrome

[Dwigie]

I've noticed this to be reccurent in my entire life (ok it's not been that long:rolli that I tend to dissolve in the background. I can literally stand between two people and listen to their private conversation and they won't notice, I don't even have to try. People never realize I'm there, it's magical. I must say I enjoy it most of the time but sometimes it's a pain in the butt. I also tend to completely detach from groups of people and dissapear to go "do my own thing" and be reported missing for 30 minutes until my classmates realize I was just taking a walk, talking to a friend..far away. I even randomly walked out of a classroom without permission and was never caught. do other infps sense this "dissolvement" in the background, being completely transparent to people?

 

[runvardh]

Yeah, it's help full when you don't want to be caught up in some kind of stupidity; but it sucks when trying to crack into a conversation or when you're getting bitched out for dissapearing.

 

[spirilis]

I'd say INTPs often have this phenomenon too, unless we're somehow the center of attention in the group (at which point others will mentally keep track of us).

 

[runvardh]

I'd say INTPs often have this phenomenon too, unless we're somehow the center of attention in the group (at which point others will mentally keep track of us).

I'm tempted to see this as an IN phenomenon.

 

[miked277]

I'd say INTPs often have this phenomenon too, unless we're somehow the center of attention in the group (at which point others will mentally keep track of us).

Agreed. Also agree with the fact that it's a pain in the ass sometimes though I suppose it's just human nature to ignore things that are less prominent than say, the ENTP over there with their arms flailing about telling their big story.

So what's the solution? Either be the center of attention by default like Spir said (i.e. be the group leader) or just somehow stay engaged in the conversation as best you can while adding little bits of your own. Still working on this myself but yeah.

 

[Dwigie]

I'm tempted to see this as an IN phenomenon.

Yes, you're probably right it's not just infps. En's have it easier in that department, my little sister is an enfp, people flock like birds to her but she tries to copy my "solitary attitude" it just doesn't suit her, it's not even "natural" for her, she's a social butterfly naturally, being a crank is not "cool" she should look up to better "social" examples and just have fun.She's just 12...
I'm sure all the INs out there don't like to "flail out their arms"..it's so awkward to ask for attention ...actually I hate constant attention but I like to be heard when I have something important to say..unfortunately it doesn't work out. I always ask the person next to me to ask a question for me in class, I rarely speak directly to teachers xD.Some of them thought I was mute...

 

[sleepless]

Haha, wow. This sounds a bit like me too... I'm an INFJ though, and I don't think there are many things like this which you can easily define as being for example an INFP-thing, exclusive for this or that four-letter type. After all, what with the INFP functions would make invisibility "INFP-ish"? Surely Introversion is important, but more than that? Or is it that you know of more people with this "syndrome", and they are all INFPs?

I have an odd feeling that I can make myself invisible at times, when almost running into someone I don't want to talk to and things like that. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't really shake it off... if it's not that, then it's because people are so extremely unaware of their surroundings to a point beyond my understanding... :rolli:

 

[Nonsensical]

Yes! It's as though I am blending into the backdrop of things..and I have a tendency of "skipping out" or just disappearing when no one is paying any attention.

 

[Dwigie]

Haha, wow. This sounds a bit like me too... I'm an INFJ though, and I don't think there are many things like this which you can easily define as being for example an INFP-thing, exclusive for this or that four-letter type. After all, what with the INFP functions would make invisibility "INFP-ish"? Surely Introversion is important, but more than that? Or is it that you know of more people with this "syndrome", and they are all INFPs?

I have an odd feeling that I can make myself invisible at times, when almost running into someone I don't want to talk to and things like that. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't really shake it off... if it's not that, then it's because people are so extremely unaware of their surroundings to a point beyond my understanding... :rolli:

Yes! That's exactly what I mean, I did kind of narrow it down to much to infps, it's just that I'm only learning now to differenciate types so it doesn't jump to me who's intp who's estj right away. I guess it's an "I" thing then?(how about the isfp for example?)

 

[sade]

This happens every now and then. It was actually amusing in school where I could freely set up my pranks and no one would notice. Which felt stupid since I was infront of the whole time. The same when walking into a group of people or near someone, doing my thing and then saying something, at what moment everyone has a heart attack over me suddenly appearing or 'sneaking around'.

 

[disregard]

Yeah, I have a hard time staying "with" a group of people. I will zone out or wander off, because I cannot handle all of the noise.

 

[Dwigie]

This happens every now and then. It was actually amusing in school where I could freely set up my pranks and no one would notice. Which felt stupid since I was infront of the whole time. The same when walking into a group of people or near someone, doing my thing and then saying something, at what moment everyone has a heart attack over me suddenly appearing or 'sneaking around'.

it makes me fuzzy inside to know you get that too. I'll change the name of the thread if possible though, it's clear now it's not an solely infp "symptom".

 

[Leysing]

Ha-ha, my friends often complain to me because of my tendency to disappear and leave them talking to themselves.

 

[Totenkindly]

I have to say I do the same thing.

I just knew how to be "invisible" and no one would notice me even if I was in the group. Even physically. Just avoid interaction and making eye contact and walk carefully and be casually unobtrusive and it is amazing what people won't notice. It's like "cloaking mode"... where you just pull back into yourself for a bit, feel out when people aren't looking, and then carefully go on your way or make it look like you're getting up to do one thing and instead you leave by the most unobtrusive route possible. (Or you get up to use the bathroom and just never come back.)

I would slip away if I got bored or emotionally drained, usually. Just being a group, sometimes I get restless and I need to go do something to find real stimulation for my brain.

I was wondering if the P helped.
Sleepless is INFJ, but everyone else here is P.

I think many J types (maybe not INFJ, but the others) don't mind as much making bold/obvious/strong actions and choices.
IxxPs might be much more likely to flex around quietly to what is happening and perceiving the right moment to make a departure as to cause the least amount of waves, without even thinking much of it.

 

[runvardh]

Suddenly the song "I dissapear" by Metallica enters my brain... lol

 

[Dwigie]

Suddenly the song "I dissapear" by Metallica enters my brain... lol

Not a fan of metal but I'll check it out

 

[sleepless]

I was wondering if the P helped.
Sleepless is INFJ, but everyone else here is P.

That's possible, I also was P before I was J. Does N help too? Everyone here's N... though most people who write here are Ns, so maybe that doesn't tell us anything.


Dwigie,

sorry if I "stepped on you" a little, I was answering to the first post, it seems now I just repeated what the others said. :rolli:

 

[Totenkindly]

That's possible, I also was P before I was J.

So you were for it before you were against it?

Does N help too? Everyone here's N... though most people who write here are Ns, so maybe that doesn't tell us anything.

I don't know. IS's tend to be earthier and more engaged in concrete ways that are observable. IN's tend to be more ethereal and internalized, so they put out less observable and tangible cues of their presence.

 

[Little Linguist]

*poof*

 

[sade]

That's possible, I also was P before I was J. Does N help too? Everyone here's N... though most people who write here are Ns, so maybe that doesn't tell us anything.

I think the intuition helps, we'll probably spot the moment to disappear without being noticed, easier. Like when some intuitives scan when it's okay to add comments to the conversation without interrupting. And like Jennifer said it's probably in some of the presence that we portray around ourselves, in the ethereal air.

Dwingie it makes me fuzzy inside to know that I'm not the only one.