[INFP] INFP and their feelings

[Earl Grey]

I. How emotions affect you:
When you do things, do you have to really consider it important to yourself?
Do you have to feel it as a pull, an emotion, and does it create a sense of purpose of some kind? Some kind of meaning?
Do you think that the feelings you have about something gives that something more meaning? If so, why or how?

II. How you utilize your emotions:
How easily do you detach from your emotions when solving problems, and how much do you value it?
Do you think that detaching from emotions and your subjective perceptions of an issue helps or harms your endeavour?
If you do this, do you do so selectively or as a standard procedure you apply to everything?

III. Are you an INFP who wants to say something?
Do you think I'm missing something?
Feel free to add more questions/information aside from the questions above ^^^.


Feel free to ask clarifying questions if mine were unclear.

 

[Luminous]

Before I answer... I think you mean feelings/emotions as in pure feeling and not as in F vs T, where F is also taken to mean value judgment?

 

[Earl Grey]

Before I answer... I think you mean feelings/emotions as in pure feeling and not as in F vs T, where F is also taken to mean value judgment?

Yes, but feel free to answer as you see fit, too.
Actually that would be better, since people might be mistyped/might be mistaken in their understanding of functions.

 

[mgbradsh]

I would like to help you with this but I really have to dig deep to give you the answers you’re looking for. It might take a while.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Just commenting to remind myself to come back to this.

 

[Dreamer]

Just commenting to remind myself to come back to this.

Trust me, that strategy doesn’t work, it’s failed me the last...how many threads have I forgotten to return to, including my own threads, despite leaving comments behind, even telling others to come and lasso me in when I’ve run out to pasture for too long. But I do applaud your efforts. Hopefully YOU will be the successful one. All it takes is one sperm to make it into the egg for hope to remain in humanity, or at least provide one tasty breakfast.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Trust me, that strategy doesn’t work, it’s failed me the last...how many threads have I forgotten to return to, including my own threads, despite leaving comments behind, even telling others to come and lasso me in when I’ve run out to pasture for too long. But I do applaud your efforts. Hopefully YOU will be the successful one. All it takes is one sperm to make it into the egg for hope to remain in humanity, or at least provide one tasty breakfast.

I actually knew I was lying to myself when I wrote it, but I still "commit" to self-improvement.

 

[Earl Grey]

[ casually sprinkles you guys with more J-ness ] Good luck.

I'll be waiting.

 

[Luminous]

When you do things, do you have to really consider it important to yourself?

I was about to write that if it's small, no, but the more I think about it, the more it really seems that in some way, whatever I do is important to me in some way. I don't like doing dishes, but they'll get done because I don't want to waste paper and use paper plates instead. But there isn't consideration put into the decision prior to every time I do dishes. The amount of consideration about importance depends on how big the thing is-how big the impact is, whether I'm the only one affected; how much I have to put into it-time, effort, emotion, stress, etc.

It's about priorities. Some things are far more important than others. Those things sometimes take much more stalling reflection or sometimes those more important things are so instinctively right, they don't require any more consideration because deep down, I've already decided.

Do you have to feel it as a pull, an emotion, and does it create a sense of purpose of some kind? Some kind of meaning?

For small things, no. For big things, pretty much yes. For example, I could have majored in some kind of engineering where I would have been guaranteed to make a lot of money. But the idea of that did not pull at me, it wasn't meaningful, so I didn't.

Do you think that the feelings you have about something gives that something more meaning? If so, why or how?

Interesting question. Sometimes, yes, definitely. For example, the house I grew up in-it's just a building, but it has meaning to me because of the feelings I have regarding it and what it represents. Or in relationships, the feelings I have for other people and feelings I have in response to who they are and what they do, can make those relationships far more meaningful. But, I have been able to put aside some of my tendencies to save objects that represented some person, place, event-some feeling-because those objects, though meaningful, are not the feeling, the feeling is not forgotten or disrespected or necessarily pushed aside if they are lost. Things that happened in the past may be more meaningful to me personally than to others because of how they affected me, because the emotions they brought about, and because those emotions may have changed me in some way, made me realize something about myself or life.

How easily do you detach from your emotions when solving problems, and how much do you value it?

It depends on the nature of the problem. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. If it's something like buying an appliance, I try to be logical-I do research, make notes, compare prices, etc. If it's something like whether to move to a different area or marry, of course emotions are going to play a much bigger role because the decision has to feel right and I value happiness, though I still try to balance those decisions with my head, with logic.

Do you think that detaching from emotions and your subjective perceptions of an issue helps or harms your endeavour?

It depends. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It can help when I know I am likely to have my emotions cloud my judgment, though it can be difficult to detach in those situations. In other situations, turning off emotions could lead to decisions that look good on paper, but not in reality, like whether to take a job even if the people just didn't click with me.

If you do this, do you do so selectively or as a standard procedure you apply to everything?

Selectively, though not generally consciously. The exception in whether it's conscious for me is that when it's something that triggers my anxiety/OCD, I know that I am likely to need to put extra effort in not letting the unreasonably negative emotions affect decisions.

Feel free to ask clarifying questions if mine were unclear.

I hope I understood what you were asking?

 

[Earl Grey]

I would like to help you with this but I really have to dig deep to give you the answers you’re looking for. It might take a while.

Just commenting to remind myself to come back to this.

Is it okay if I @/mention you guys here after a while to remind (only if you need it)?
I'd love to hear you guys' input.

And [MENTION=25763]Dreamer[/MENTION], you too.
I know you're typing as ESFP now but I'd also love to hear your input, if you would not mind.

 

[Earl Grey]

I hope I understood what you were asking?

Yes! And your answers are lovely. Thank you so much for going into as much detail as you have.

I'm reading, re-reading, re-re-reading your reply, there might be things I do not understand yet;
I might ask more in another post or just in discord, where we can speak more fluidly (provided both of us have time available), if that is alright with you?
I'd prefer a more dynamic platform to exchange information more easily rather than litter this thread with short sentences.

 

[mgbradsh]

Is it okay if I @/mention you guys here after a while to remind (only if you need it)?
I'd love to hear you guys' input.

I’m going to go ahead and speak for [MENTION=31348]Peter Deadpan[/MENTION] here when I say that if you do that I will verbally stab you on every other part of the forum. I am a force of nature you do not want to mess with.

(I’m totally kidding, it’s fine, I’ll probably have an answer today though, it’s a really good set of questions)

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Lol

Yeah, that's fine. The thing is that I have to be in the mood to write at the time of tagging, otherwise I'll "remind myself" to do it later and forget anyway. I'm just super forgetful/distractible.

 

[mgbradsh]

I.

Famous INFP Bruce Lee (I can’t back that up) once said, “Be like water.” I find that it does somewhat apply to how I make decisions. Water, always flows downhill and takes the path of least resistance. Resistance can mean a lot of things, workload, conflicting interests, feelings of others, personal feelings, it can be a long list. Like gravity, the pull is always the same, and like a river or stream, the path is rarely ever straight. It’s not always immediately clear why there is a bend in a river, but you know it’s there nonetheless.

So I guess I would say that once a question has been put forward it’s going to result in a cascade of decision making that will determine how and if it’s answered. It can be important to me, but also to someone else. I guess I would say that the sense of purpose around the decision means there will be a decision, the interesting part about an INFP is how we get to the decision.

I feel like I’m not explaining that well.

II

I would say that’s like asking an INTP if they turn off their thinking when they are trying to come up with an answer. You don’t, you can’t and shouldn’t, it’s the core of the process.

Ignoring feeling in decision making would be like ignoring any of your functions, the outcome would be pretty unhealthy.

III

A better way to describe the feeling function in decision making decisions is value. That gets tricky though because how do you solve a math problem with your “values”. It’s values that got you to a place where you could solve the problem. That probably meant at an early age seeing value in listening to your parents and teachers and learning how to do math. I wouldn’t mistake that process for a lack of intelligence, I’d say the two things are complimentary.

 

[Dreamer]

I. How emotions affect you:
When you do things, do you have to really consider it important to yourself?
Do you have to feel it as a pull, an emotion, and does it create a sense of purpose of some kind? Some kind of meaning?
Do you think that the feelings you have about something gives that something more meaning? If so, why or how?

II. How you utilize your emotions:
How easily do you detach from your emotions when solving problems, and how much do you value it?
Do you think that detaching from emotions and your subjective perceptions of an issue helps or harms your endeavour?
If you do this, do you do so selectively or as a standard procedure you apply to everything?

III. Are you an INFP who wants to say something?
Do you think I'm missing something?
Feel free to add more questions/information aside from the questions above ^^^.


Feel free to ask clarifying questions if mine were unclear.

I was at first going to answer question by question, but eh really, it all ties in together. At least for me, there is no start nor end, of where or how my emotions effect me or my decisions, and to a greater extent, my outlook on the world. As far as “detaching” from my emotions, I might say that I do here and there, or get into some heartless faux ESTJ madness while at work, but the reality is, my emotions are still very much intertwined, it’s just that the emotional bit is in play a bit less, and ugh...ok, so let’s try this, there is the “emotional” aspect of a situation where it doesn’t involve emotion but more my personal investment in something, and then there’s the actual emotional bit of the situation...

No, F! I’m sorry bud, I will have to edit this horrible post of mine when I’m not so distracted with other thoughts at the minute

Essentially, it’s all a continuim or spectrum and when there isn’t an emotional attachment in something, there still is because anything and everything I do, even if absolutely miniscule, DOES involve a bit of “me” in it, that personal and emotional part that I’ve invested in it, but if that personal investment is relatively low on a given task or whatever, then it only means something else has filled in to compensate. Ya...I’ll have to return to fix up this post. I’m so absurd right now.

 

[Coriolis]

[ casually sprinkles you guys with more J-ness ] Good luck.

If only it were that easy. (The reverse is even harder, though.)

And [MENTION=25763]Dreamer[/MENTION], you too.
I know you're typing as ESFP now

I don't believe it for a minute.

there is the “emotional” aspect of a situation where it doesn’t involve emotion but more my personal investment in something, and then there’s the actual emotional bit of the situation...

What is the nature of this personal investment, if it is not emotion?

 

[Metis]

there is the “emotional” aspect of a situation where it doesn’t involve emotion but more my personal investment in something, and then there’s the actual emotional bit of the situation...

What is the nature of this personal investment, if it is not emotion?

I was wondering this too, but if the sense of personal investment is considered emotion, it seems like it's of a different category than happy, sad, etc. emotions.

 

[mgbradsh]

I feel like there needs to be some examples to kind of anchor some of these ideas and concepts.

I would take “personal investment” to mean something like “fabric of my being”.

Maybe this will help. I had an acquaintance attacking a really good friend on Twitter once. You could go as far as bullying. My friend had enough and asked me to step in. I did. I wasn’t emotional, but I pretty methodically ensured the bully wouldn’t attack my friend again. There were repercussions to everyone’s behaviour, including mine, I knew there would be, but it had to be done for a number of reasons, including helping my friend.

Emotionally, the whole event was devoid of joy and/or sadness (or anything else), at least on my part, it had to be. I took no gratification in what happened. However, I know what I did was right and how I did it was right and that it was necessary for it to happen and that I had to be the one to do it. Those decisions came from a place deep inside and were a reflection of the core of my being.

Does that distinction make sense?

 

[Metis]

I feel like there needs to be some examples to kind of anchor some of these ideas and concepts.

I would take “personal investment” to mean something like “fabric of my being”.

Maybe this will help. I had an acquaintance attacking a really good friend on Twitter once. You could go as far as bullying. My friend had enough and asked me to step in. I did. I wasn’t emotional, but I pretty methodically ensured the bully wouldn’t attack my friend again. There were repercussions to everyone’s behaviour, including mine, I knew there would be, but it had to be done for a number of reasons, including helping my friend.

Emotionally, the whole event was devoid of joy and/or sadness (or anything else), at least on my part, it had to be. I took no gratification in what happened. However, I know what I did was right and how I did it was right and that it was necessary for it to happen and that I had to be the one to do it. Those decisions came from a place deep inside and were a reflection of the core of my being.

Does that distinction make sense?

Interesting that you read something totally different from "personal investment in something" than I did. I was thinking of a situation in which I've invested time, attention, and personal effort into an endeavor and feel invested in the outcome because I don't want my contributions to go to waste. You thought of a situation in which you didn't get bogged down by emotion but instead acted to deal with the situation, right?

There are situations I've been in that are like that, although it's a different kind of investment from what I imagined when I read [MENTION=25763]Dreamer[/MENTION]'s statement.

Maybe he's being vague deliberately to get us to make him into a subject of literary interpretation.

 

[mgbradsh]

Interesting that you read something totally different from "personal investment in something" than I did. I was thinking of a situation in which I've invested time, attention, and personal effort into an endeavor and feel invested in the outcome because I don't want my contributions to go to waste. You thought of a situation in which you didn't get bogged down by emotion but instead acted to deal with the situation, right?

There are situations I've been in that are like that, although it's a different kind of investment from what I imagined when I read [MENTION=25763]Dreamer[/MENTION]'s statement.

Maybe he's being vague deliberately to get us to make him into a subject of literary interpretation.

We should beat [MENTION=25763]Dreamer[/MENTION] up until we get a clear answer.

I suppose my investment in this case was in a few things. Friendships, an overarching cause, but almost more than that, standing up to a bully which was one of those fabric of being things for me.