Good grief, you actually know how we work!
*BEAMS* It feels really good when I make sense to others!
I really feel invested in the INFP 'vs' INFJ because SO MANY have put INFPs down as this weak/jealous/lonely stereotype and overly praise INFJs as this "mystical" "allseeing + allknowing" stereotype. Both Types, as all Types are, BEAUTIFUL!
(and UGLY!
)
I mean, jeez, people throw out one stereo(type) in order to buy the next big "it" stereo(type). Sometimes it works for them and helps them look good, sometimes it sucks and they hate it and think people who like it are really stupid! IMHO, though, if people would
just change the few stations that
they're only listening to, then they can see the stereo for what it is...a tool in seeing/hearing of the differences of others through the various stations/voices coming out to them On Air.
(Think I'm corny with the stereo analogy, I even created Trees and Forests, so wait for it, it'sa cominnnng!
)
It's good to know how to better understand your friends and potential friends in the future!
And...it's good to know your enemy and the potential enemy if they so become the enemy!
That's Ni
paranoia both rounds, for ya, people. Think I'm bad? You should see my INTJ sis!
I think I'd originally written a post saying almost exactly what you were saying, but decided not to post for one reason or another. But yes, that is it, exactly. We need TIME, huge amounts of time to process things. If the other party is not patient enough, they will interpret this time as us being passive-aggressive. Nope, we don't even think about trying to punish you - our internal state is far, far more interesting to think about! You don't even come into it! I actually believe passive-aggression is Fe being misused. Fi doesn't bother with the other.
I think it's the opposite with the passive-aggression and aggression. It would be misconstrued as passive-aggression for an INFP or when Fi is being dished out but mishandled for any other Type. Because the INFP will look so "quiet" and if angered suddenly "dishes" it out, it looks as though it was just being hidden in order to attack! So, passive-aggression. People forget how
nicely passive the INFP was because the INFP was happily listening to them and figuring out their problem or finding a way to give advice so people think "Yea, that's why they are so quiet, they were just judging us on the inside!" and taken that way by the person who's upset at the INFP.
It would likely be misconstrued as
aggression by an INFJ (being so directdirectgettothepointdirectfocus!) or when Fe is being dished out but mishandled by any other Type. Since INFJs are normally direct with what they ask and what they want to know from you to get input, if they become tyrannical about it or refuse to listen to another's input, they look fiercely aggressive and people think "Oh, yea, they are SO bossy! They always tell me what to do!" and forget all the
nicely directed advice/ideas that were given and taken by the person who's upset at the INFJ.
I'm going to point out next on what I've viewed in Pride & Prejudice on, what I thought, were a potential INFP and INFJ (Can you guess which?). People made a Thread on it RIGHT when I was re-watching the movie and seeing the series for the first time. I hadn't joined then (I was obseving the forum a tiny bit). I didn't feel comfortable partaking in it and there were other Threads of interests I pursued. I figured I'd do it on my own so now I shall!
The time frame is important. Fi-Ne is slow, glacially slow, for the things that really matter to it. It wants to be correct. A similar thing happens for Ti-Ne - it is fast for things that don't matter (hence wisecracks etc), but if tasked with something more important, then Ti-Ne will spend lots of time cogitating until the correct answer is achieved.
YES! Ne aborbs everything for Fi so that, at Fi's command, Fi will pick at that information so as to be
fair and not have bias! For INFJs it works that Fe goes out to find all the info and relay it back to Ni so that the Ni can work to focus and come to a fair conclusion. Both Types make conclusions, it's the
how is it done,
why is it done and
for whom is it done and from
where is it taken from or to. An INFP in a rut will forget Ne and just be fixated on Fi. An INFJ in a rut will forget Fe and just focus on Ni. Fi can be an INFPs slave-driver under stress! And Ni can be an INFJs slave drivers under stress! That's where the biases are formed and from previous experiences w/ people + situations. If given time to process it, both types can find a way of overcoming their original analysis which may have been
right beforehand because they worked hard in figuring it out or may have been right with their assumptions (again, figured it out) in relation to the person/s
beforehand. That's when we learn to accept the changes of situations/places + people. People can change, for sure, of all Types, and sometimes they don't or never will but it's maintaing an open mind and
not being a slave to your Dominant Processes for INFPs' Fi + Ne and INFJs' Ni + Fe which will help you out in the long run
and short run (yea, sometimes it's gotta be a short analysis, sorry INFPs/INFJs!, it happens!
)
DD I am very impressed! Especially with your recognition of healthy vs unhealthy members of any type, or mature vs immature members of any type. I have been irritated in the past by negative stereotypes that people are using - and they are based on having met one or two clearly unhealthy examples of what they have guessed is a particular type. I guess that's Ne talking - asking why people aren't more open to the possibility that they are wrong in their assumptions?
Yea, the Healthy vs Unhealthy is very important to me AS WELL as everything inbetween. That's how I approach people when I learn of them, how were they? Why are they acting this way now? What changed? Where're they going? What do they want to do or get back to? I know this is more than personal for me when it comes to MBTI types because in my life I've been stereotyped based off incorrect assumptions of my ethnicity since very young! "Is your mommy White and your daddy Black?" (mostly said that way). Now it's more "Are you Blasian?" or anything inbetween. (I'm like a lightskinned-yellowishbrownish thing, I don't know! lol I'd freak out as a kid and run to my parents asking if I was adopted. I recall these incidents well, if not all the faces as 99% are strangers who just blurt it to me w/o warning lol (used to get SO MIFFED as an older kid, now it's AMUSING to toy with the "possibiltites" before I narrow it and say "I'm ____ from _____ and only ____". (Some people fight me on it---insinuate my mom cheated or something). Nvm the stereotype that I'm more "intelligent" than "____" peoples or "You're Blasian, right? Got that Asian Smarts in you!" BS or "Is your hair weave? No?
Are you sure? It's too long to be real for your kind of people!" I try to then direct the convo on how to "not be stereotypical" or ask "Where are you from? Really? Isn't that where ___ + ___ is? It is? And ___?" to deflect the rudeness and 'gather my peace from my hurt(if hurt)' so as not to appear rude and make a better impression...That can sometimes work against an INFJ b/c they can be so fix(at)ing when trying to "help people". INFPs might not, wisely or not, bother to care. My ISTP bestfriend really showed me that SOMETIMES you just gotta NOT explain OR CARE and just "leave them ALONE with their ignorance" She sometimes just toys with people's ignorance, sometimes explaining better if she cares to or likes them, or just mindf*cks them for fun and then pisses them off for insulting her (she's evolved a bit now, guess who made her?
)
She taught me by telling and example to: Be brief and curt if necessary. Leave if it's not working for them. Don't be afraid to be The Bitch/Bastard. Don't let it bother you for not being listened to, don't let it frustrate you if your misunderstood. So, I suppose, on the flip side, it might be for INFPs as this: Explain more or express more if necessary. Stay to get it working for them. Don't be afraid to be The Bitch/Bastard. Don't let it bother you for not being listened to, don't let it frustrate you if your misunderstood.
To BOTH INFPs and INFJs, DON'T FEEL THE GUILT for failing someone or yourselves or being thought to have failed yourself or others. Accept your error or the error of others' misperceptions. Realise it wasn't your fault
if it wasn't your fault and
if it was your fault, it's A(ware to be).O.K.
I'm enjoying reading about INFJs as well - I sometimes go into directive mode with a friend who's having problems because Ne wants more information, but I do it very gently, and use it with huge amounts of patience - I let (what I perceive as) their Fi have its say first. I will also ask other sources instead of the person involved, simply to get a different perspective.
I enjoy reading about INFJs too! I meant INFPs!
I've learned to be less directive (not that I'm a tyrant, peoples, I'm not, really
). My ISTP b/friend can have BLOW UPS about people and I know she needs space and not to so much as 'touch her'. She'll 'touch me' when she wants physical attention or advice. But she's better at hearing me out if it's in relation to other's b/c she's learned to trust me. The very few times throughout our entire lives that we've 'come to blows', both or one of us to the other, has taught me not to desperately try to "Fe" her into "talking it out with me" and she's learned to "let me in a bit quicker". We do argue a bit on our differing POVs but it's fun always winning!
devil
K. Almost.
And it's really good to get to other outside sources in order to gain perspective. Doesn't mean we have to trust it entirely, but we can nitpick and learn to discern the difference b/w sincere advice being shown nicely or told nicely.
Edit:Minor edit on being more 'clear'.
sciski + heart + ppl I've forgotten to name = 
