[MBTI General] INFJ or INFP or another Type?

[zarc]

Perhaps it'll make it easier for people to understand if you go back to your first post and put down a summary of everything you've discussed. With a link to the relevant post so they can read more if they wanted to.

Yup, already done so! I just keep forgetting I should reference it at the bottom of a new post in case people just skip to the last page!

She didn't say confused, she said overwhelmed.

She's told me this before about Vicky Jo's site so I assumed it still was for her. And overwhelming implies confusion as one isn't able to process or overcome all of the info being given/read at the time or their physical/emotional sensations at the time, wouldn't it? From an earlier post of hers in my Thread:

As for Vicki Jo's website, I think it has a LOT of really good information, and I think you've brought up a lot of interesting and relevant discussion points.

[but as for me...reading Vicki Jo's website about half a year ago just confused me more, and even all of your posts....

Tada!

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All INFP and INFJ depictions that I've made are going to be consistently updated in the OP at the Bottom of the page until I feel my work is done. As well as my reponses to stereotypes mostly in regards against INFPs. :steam: and even unjustly praise for all INFJs (I know INFJs, it hurts to not think we're perfect or to let others know so but we aren't! We're kinda close, okay?! )

 

[cascadeco]

Actually I'd posted something right before this so that should be clearer.

 

[zarc]

Actually I'd posted something right before this so that should be clearer.

Ahhh, I missed it as I was writing my response! lol Okie, all clear now! Thanks for participating though, it really made me think of new ways in explaining how I view CP/Type and how I might better explain it for others when I try to do other Types next!

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All INFP and INFJ depictions that I've made are going to be consistently updated in the OP at the Bottom of the page until I feel my work is done. As well as my reponses to stereotypes mostly in regards against INFPs. :steam: and even unjustly praise for all INFJs (I know INFJs, it hurts to not think we're perfect or to let others know so but we aren't! We're kinda close, okay?! )

 

[ithurt]

DeliriousDisposition,
Growing up, my mother would be cross with me all the time, suddenly barking
that I do the dishes or mow the lawn, but with absolutely no question that I
can pick a convenient time, etc. It used to feel violent to me and so I had a lot
of trouble looking happy, then I got told OVER AND OVER that I was self-centered. It's a label that crushed me in many ways, because I was just
afraid of my Mum. I spend my time in fear of my being self-centered. Feel trapped.

 

[ithurt]

label of self-centered always painful cuz of negative connotations in christian

DeliriousDisposition,
Growing up, my mother would be cross with me all the time, suddenly barking
that I do the dishes or mow the lawn, but with absolutely no question that I
can pick a convenient time, etc. It used to feel violent to me and so I had a lot
of trouble looking happy, then I got told OVER AND OVER that I was self-centered. It's a label that crushed me in many ways, because I was just
afraid of my Mum. I spend my time in fear of my being self-centered. Feel trapped. To this day, I have trouble dealing with conflict with a tendency towards shutting down disfunctionally rather than addressing the person right there with me. In every such heated argument, I can hear my mother's words again.... "you're so self-centered" etc etc. Maybe I am. How are you supposed to have any self-respect if you are the way you are and you come to see how you are.
ithurt is online now Add to ithurt's Reputation Report Post Edit/Delete Message

 

[ithurt]

Delirious Disposition,
other example, when I failed grad school my mum
said, "Dad and I deserved better than this". In other words, a particular failure in my life had become theirs. I felt extremely wounded by this, but can still hear "you're so selfish" etc. i.e. selfish that i failed them, selfish that my feelings were hurt by them feeling so failed by my failures etc. etc. years of trying to learn
that my life is my own. by not learning that, i've been
doing exactly what i want. if i understood better my freedom i think i would care more what others want. it is hard to turn around years of the "self-centered" label.

 

[ithurt]

DeliriousDisposition

I am not hurt by you. I just want to say that I am a living proof that an INFP does not wish they were self-centered and can feel really bad about it and finds it hard to hear.

 

[ithurt]

DeliriousDisposition

Can you explain your introverted intution (under stress for example) and how does extraverted feeling support it?

 

[zarc]

DeliriousDisposition

I am not hurt by you. I just want to say that I am a living proof that an INFP does not wish they were self-centered and can feel really bad about it and finds it hard to hear.

I'm glad you're not hurt by me, though I wonder how I could possibly so much as hurt you as we don't know each other.. but I'm still glad! Did you read any of my posts specifically on INFPs? Did it relate to you if so?

I don't believe all INFPs self-centered at all. Did you think I was saying so? I'm also a bit confused as to what you're telling me in regards to my Thread.

But reading all you wrote, I get an INFP view of you so far.

DeliriousDisposition

Can you explain your introverted intution (under stress for example) and how does extraverted feeling support it?

You can't label the Cognitive Processes under "stress" per se, such as Ni (Introverted Intuition) or Fe (Extroverted Feeling). A person becomes under stress and whichever Type they are will likely display how they access those Cognitive Processes under stress. They'll also likely stick to their first two. INFPs will prefer to use Fi and Ne. INFJs will prefer to use Ni and Fe. If severely stressed, they both shut down to use only their first dominant one (Fi for INFPs and Ni for INFJs).

An INFJ under stress might begin to only concentrate on the "long-term" goal (using Ni) instead of on the short-term goal or vision what they can think of happening w/o regard to the present reality around them. They may try to focus on others (using Fe) more than themselves or try to tell people they're doing fine.

An INFP under stress might begin to focus on how they feel about it (using Fi = Introverted Feeling), and what's the cause of it, in order to understand their situation better. They may try to take the info of others (using Ne = Extroverted Intuition) and just absorb it all, quietly, so they can come to their conclusions on what they might need to do. People might be confused or believe the INFP is being selfish by keeping to themselves or not "opening up" but the INFP is just being careful in figuring out what needs to be understood to them before they try to explain it to others (and it may be hard for them to do, especially if they don't trust the person well enough or there was some hurt by that trusted or should be trusted person, such as family members).

Just two simple examples. Did it help?

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All INFP and INFJ depictions that I've made are going to be consistently updated in the OP at the Bottom of the page until I feel my work is done. As well as my reponses to stereotypes mostly in regards against INFPs. :steam: and even unjustly praise for all INFJs (I know INFJs, it hurts to not think we're perfect or to let others know so but we aren't! We're kinda close, okay?! )

 

[ithurt]

Thank you for your reply Delirious.

How exactly would you describe what is going on in your head
when you use introverted intuition, stressed out or not? It's hard
for me to imagine although it's probably something common to all
of us.

 

[ithurt]

DeliriousDepression,
I apologize for my earlier entry. Some of what I wrote was not really relevant to the thread. I bristle at the adjective self-centered because of negative connotations it has. It doesn't sound like a good attribute even if applied to the functions only. So even though you were not calling INFPs self-centered, if anything, debunking that notion, I reacted badly.
In answer to your question, I read all posts by you in this thread and enjoyed
reading them. Actually I am not certain I am an INFP, I actually score INFJ,
But I think I might be INFP as some of your descriptions of INFPs were
relevant to me, especially about needing lots and lots of time. I wonder if
going through a rough time can make an INFJ appear a lot like an INFP.
Even though I score INFJ, it's not clear to me what introverted intuition is.

 

[zarc]

Thank you for your reply Delirious.

How exactly would you describe what is going on in your head
when you use introverted intuition, stressed out or not? It's hard
for me to imagine although it's probably something common to all
of us.

There are numerous sites dedicated to explaining all of the Cognitive Processes or the differences b/w Types. Here is one for Ni and you can read the other CPs on the site as well as other great info regarding MBTI and Type theories.

 

[zarc]

DeliriousDepression,

Delirious Depression?! That's a first! Though it certaintly can apply!

I apologize for my earlier entry. Some of what I wrote was not really relevant to the thread. I bristle at the adjective self-centered because of negative connotations it has. It doesn't sound like a good attribute even if applied to the functions only. So even though you were not calling INFPs self-centered, if anything, debunking that notion, I reacted badly.
In answer to your question, I read all posts by you in this thread and enjoyed
reading them. Actually I am not certain I am an INFP, I actually score INFJ,
But I think I might be INFP as some of your descriptions of INFPs were
relevant to me, especially about needing lots and lots of time. I wonder if
going through a rough time can make an INFJ appear a lot like an INFP.
Even though I score INFJ, it's not clear to me what introverted intuition is.

S'ok! I figured you weren't mad at me. It was just a bit confusing.

Well, I don't entirely trust online tests as some questions are vague or biased to make "NFs" so touchy-feely illogical or "NTs" so coldly rational they can't recognise their own pulse etc-- A good bet is in trying to see based on the tests (taken a few times, perhaps spread out), reading up on all of the Types to see which you feel best represents you (but be weary that some sites are either biased or have old, outdated info--) and try learning about Cognitive Processes to see which best matches yours. I like this INTJ page on Cognitive Processes. You just pick the CPs from whichever Type at the bottom you feel is yours, and then compare it through the original descriptions for INTJs but just imagine it as INFP (or whatever) instead.

Also, both INFPs and INFJs need lots of time but for different reasons. An INFP might not seem as outgoing or talkative as an INFJ. An INFP is not likely to interfere with people as they feel that people should have the freedom in learning from their own problems or sorting it out-- they do so with the best of intentions. The only exceptions is if they know the person well enough that they'll do it as they can "feel more confident and comfortable" telling them.

An INFJ is more likely to interfere with people as they feel that they should help the person in realising what they see as the problem and as the INFJ feels that they've already figured out what needs to be corrected, they're more likely to tell you what "you should do" to fix it.-- they do so with the best of intentions. An INFJ may tell just about anyone what they feel the person should do, but may hold back a bit with new people (or may not, if they feel comfortable or absolutely certian they should tell them.)

And an INFJ is not going to turn into an INFP any more than the reverse happening. If you feel that you are going into your worst state of being resulting from severe/continual stresses, you'll likely look like a negative version of your Shadow Type. The Shadow Type of INFPs is ESTJs and for INFJs is ESTP.

Also, the Communication Styles of INFPs and INFJs are different. INFPs have an Informing style whereas INFJs have a Directing style.

As you've read, you must know that I've raved quite a few times about Vicky Jo's website on helping discern the differences of INFJs and INFPs. Try it out and see which applies to you, if either.


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All INFP and INFJ depictions that I've made are going to be consistently updated in the OP at the Bottom of the page until I feel my work is done. As well as my reponses to stereotypes mostly in regards against INFPs. :steam: and even unjustly praise for all INFJs (I know INFJs, it hurts to not think we're perfect or to let others know so but we aren't! We're kinda close, okay?! )

 

[ithurt]

DeliriousTypo, :rolli:
I read the descriptions of the cognitive processes. It was helpful because as I couldn't relate well to introverted intuition, I decided I must be an INFP.
I have scored INFJ, strong N, strong J.
Introverted intuition is a process we all engage in, but I cannot really think
of examples of the process being used, it strikes me as something that would
be almost impossible to observe in a person. I'm really curious about it, and how it operates differently in INFJs versus INTJs.
What you said about a willingness in INFJs to tell someone what to do rang true. I know an INFJ (well at least that was her score, it was mine too) who after knowing me not that long told me what to do about something I felt was my business and
I remember thinking that in the same situation I would have to know that the advice is welcomed before offering it. It looked like there was an assumption that advice is good, and it actually felt to me like maybe she thinks I can't think for myself, although she would probably be surprised to hear it, as if I'm keeping my reactions secret. In fact, the advice was felt by me as added pressure, because I felt obligated to take it into account now and change the decision I had already come to, because I would only offer unsolicited advice myself if I felt a really strong need to have my input considered, so it's hard for me not to think it's her case too. Reversing the roles, it was hard for me to conceive of telling her what to do in the same situation. This is only one particular situation, but I remember thinking, there is a difference here between us.

 

[ithurt]

I wonder, what are all of your thoughts on this,

What clues do you think a sad INFJ would reveal about his sadness, to close friends, family, strangers?

 

[ithurt]

Delirious,
I too have a younger INTJ sister. She is 9 years younger.

 

[ithurt]

Delirious, I love your ISTJ smilie choice:

Very funny.

My mother is ISTJ. I can only picture the types in reference to people that I know intimately, and I can attest to the ISTJ's tendency to cut off others, leaving them feeling very:

 

[ithurt]

query,

Under stress, if I start start seeing dark motives for people's actions etc. is this runaway introverted intuition? Or runaway extraverted thinking?

 

[zarc]

Introverted intuition is a process we all engage in, but I cannot really think
of examples of the process being used, it strikes me as something that would
be almost impossible to observe in a person. I'm really curious about it, and how it operates differently in INFJs versus INTJs.

Ni and all of the other CPs are not so easy to observe in a person unless they have a better grasp of how people function psychologically/emotionally/physically, have good access to people they think/know well enough to guess at, and knowing how the CPs work would help too. I've made posts where I repeatedly say that INFJs and INTJs are mirror-cousins in Type with near exact CPs except with F vs T. They have similar thinking-patterns but their conclusions may differ. An INFPs mirro-cousin in Type is INTP, same thing but reverse the F vs T. You'll find plenty of different Threads based on understanding differences b/w the Types or the relationships b/w them. Here's a page vaguely explaining the r/ship pair titles b/w the Types. Here's the page on INFPs and at the bottom you can see their view of which Type relates to an INFP (and so on with each specific page on w/e Type).

I wonder, what are all of your thoughts on this,

What clues do you think a sad INFJ would reveal about his sadness, to close friends, family, strangers?

I refer you to this post. Basically, an INFJ will not tell someone, anymore than an INFP would unless they are the closest of confidants. The difference, as I've said, is that an INFJ might tell people that they're doing "fine" if asked and dissociate within themselves whereas an INFP might not tell someone anything or "appear" broody (even if not so!, it's just assumed by others) as they dissociate from others too.

query,

Under stress, if I start start seeing dark motives for people's actions etc. is this runaway introverted intuition? Or runaway extraverted thinking?

No. It'd be your Fi at work. Whenever under stress, or if a person isn't evolved enough to begin with, we rely on our 1st CP (for you Fi) or rely on both 1st and 2nd CP (for you Ne). If you're still confused on how the CPs work such as Te or Ni, and if you trust in CPs, then you should read a bit more about them. It took me quite some time before I felt the need to learn about them as it also took some time before I thoroughly felt that I knew them.


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All INFP and INFJ depictions that I've made are going to be consistently updated in the OP at the Bottom of the page until I feel my work is done. As well as my reponses to stereotypes mostly in regards against INFPs. :steam: and even unjustly praise for all INFJs (I know INFJs, it hurts to not think we're perfect or to let others know so but we aren't! We're kinda close, okay?! )

 

[ithurt]

I tell people I'm fine even when I'm not. I share stories of abuse with strangers or people I don't know well.