[INFJ] INFJ cried during sex

[JocktheMotie]

This would be nice actually, it'd probably buy me a couple extra minutes.

 

[Qre:us]

Slight thread topic derail...

...but I didn't want to start a new thread.

A question for male INFJs:

What do INFJs think of the act of sex? Say, for example, they (a dude) refused to put out for 1 year, and finally did.....what was the reason? What is their outlook re: the act of sex? And, expectations from their partner, in terms of how they wish/hope, their partner views sex?

 

[Wyst]

...but I didn't want to start a new thread.

A question for male INFJs:

What do INFJs think of the act of sex? Say, for example, they (a dude) refused to put out for 1 year, and finally did.....what was the reason? What is their outlook re: the act of sex? And, expectations from their partner, in terms of how they wish/hope, their partner views sex?

Would you like to talk about this over PMs?
Seriously.

 

[heart]

I'm telling you. INFJs are moody moody moody. Hold them too close and they'll push away - don't hold them close enough close enough and they'll start blaming themselves...

This is extremely unattractive and unstable.

It comes with the platter.

 

[Digital Ghost]

Doesn't the OP violate rule 7 in the TypologyCentral FAQ?!

 

[FemMecha]

I'm telling you. INFJs are moody moody moody. Hold them too close and they'll push away - don't hold them close enough close enough and they'll start blaming themselves.

I wonder for how many INFJs that applies. I don't think I qualify as moody, but feel things deeply and consistently. I can accept and understand a wide range of people, and I do not require others to walk on eggshells because I have ability to view communication from different perspectives. I look at the core of the communication and not the packaging. I work from the other person's perspective not mine so you can ignore me or become needy and more often than not, I'm the one who can adapt to it. The label of moodiness concerns me because I don't want others to think they have to handle me with kid gloves. Those who know me can attest to this.

My impression is that INFJs can have emotional tenacity, depth of feeling, and are not particularly fragile. This is why the comments about crying during sex imply depth of feeling and not something fragile or breakable.

 

[Tigerlily]

It's really not a big deal. You just blew her mind. I've cried after sex and it's not because I was sad. In fact just the opposite! I blame my husband.

That's a horrible idea. INFJs don't like to be cornered, especially by surprises, ESPECIALLY when they revolve around things they aren't ready/don't want to talk about.



This is also not that great of an idea.



Bingo.

I'm telling you. INFJs are moody moody moody. Hold them too close and they'll push away - don't hold them close enough close enough and they'll start blaming themselves.

With INFJs you have to roll with the punches. I don't understand why the hell people try to "read" INFJs and figure out what's going on. Half the time we don't understand what's going on in our own heads. That anyone could think they've got an INFJ figured out is ludicrous, unless they've been together for years.

well said.

 

[Sarcasticus]

I wonder for how many INFJs that applies. I don't think I qualify as moody, but feel things deeply and consistently.

I do think there's a lot of latitude in the INFJ type. Some are moody (i think this applies mostly to the E4s), whereas some are more peaceful and easygoing (E9s). I've known one of each and I really thought the more easygoing one was an INFP. But nope, she's pretty J in other areas.

I've had a few experiences where an INFJ cried during sex. And no it had nothing to do with my performance. Not sure about the laughter though. . .

Seriously though, in my experience it seems to come after a period of disconnectedness/dissonance in the relationship. There's all this bottled-up emotion, and it just suddenly gets released all at once; a catharsis.

 

[hommefatal]

I do not tend to cry but I find it amusing.

 

[amelie]

If she cries, just hold her and don't let go until she pushes away.

I agree with this, and with the poster who said sit down and ask her about it. I don't like to be cornered (meaning not forced) but it really impresses me when people notice my feelings and try to care for them. I love to be given the opportunity to talk about and process things in a supportive environment, and then if I say I'm not ready (which I'm capable of doing) then I like that to be respected. Showing deep caring and thoughtfulness is a sure way to impress me.

Signed, an INFJ.

 

[amelie]

And yet it's true for the majority of undeveloped INFJs.

Key word there being "underdeveloped."

 

[Thalassa]

Guilty? Why would you assume guilt?

Lots of people have cried during sex for one reason or another, mainly due to emotional intensity. It isn't usually a bad thing.

However, I guess a person could start crying because they don't want the other person to touch them, but I really don't think that would be the case here, especially since she said what she did afterward.

I wouldn't worry about it. Certain people are just more expressive than others.

 

[matmos]

A more interesting question. Have any INFJs laughed loudly during sex?

It certainly goes against type, but with the right joke or amusing story, coupled with a straight face, it can be done...

So I'm told.

 

[Totenkindly]

Doesn't the OP violate rule 7 in the TypologyCentral FAQ?!

Is she a member of the forum, and did she send her comment via forum PM?
(As much as I wish we could fix the whole world, alas -- we can only monitor stuff here. )

A more interesting question. Have any INFJs laughed loudly during sex?

As long as they don't fall asleep during it.

 

[ceecee]

I thought the thread title read "INTJ" AHAHA

I'd like to see that.

Now now, I've cried one time during sex. Yes I did.

 

[amelie]

A more interesting question. Have any INFJs laughed loudly during sex?

It certainly goes against type, but with the right joke or amusing story, coupled with a straight face, it can be done...

Yes; sex is fun - it happens.

 

[Wyst]

I wonder for how many INFJs that applies. I don't think I qualify as moody, but feel things deeply and consistently. I can accept and understand a wide range of people, and I do not require others to walk on eggshells because I have ability to view communication from different perspectives. I look at the core of the communication and not the packaging. I work from the other person's perspective not mine so you can ignore me or become needy and more often than not, I'm the one who can adapt to it. The label of moodiness concerns me because I don't want others to think they have to handle me with kid gloves. Those who know me can attest to this.

My impression is that INFJs can have emotional tenacity, depth of feeling, and are not particularly fragile. This is why the comments about crying during sex imply depth of feeling and not something fragile or breakable.

I think 'moody' covers quite a bit of ground and doesn't simply relate to being some kind of PMS-y emotional roller-coaster. I'm extremely moody. Some days I'll be cheerful, other days I'll be brooding about something. People ask me about what's wrong and they'll get a succinct answer.

I agree with you about the depth of feeling bit. It's precisely because of our depth of feeling that it's hard for some of us to open up to it and feel the full brunt of it because it involves other people and not just ourselves, increasing the level of vulnerability. I wouldn't say that 'fragile' is the best word for that though. Stubborn, on the other hand fits.

 

[amelie]

Stubborn, on the other hand fits.

Now that one, I also have to own.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Now that one, I also have to own.

That's my middle name. True story.

 

[Popsicle]

A more interesting question. Have any INFJs laughed loudly during sex?

It certainly goes against type, but with the right joke or amusing story, coupled with a straight face, it can be done...

So I'm told.

Of course...and frequently. I don't see how that goes against type (but maybe that's just me.)

Just a few weeks ago I laughed (until I cried, interestingly enough) when we inadvertently rolled off the bed onto the floor. I looked at him. He looked at me...and we both lost it. It still cracks me up thinking of it.