[MBTI General] INFJ Compatibility - Why the INFJ/ENTP dynamic is hands down the best.

[Domino]

Ok now then here it comes: I'll never say at all that we have been a perfect match from the start. If you'ld assume a perfect match are two people who add to each other and harmonize that way, we were far from it when we met. We are so fundamentally different on approaching things and thats a think that has persisted until today.

Over 4 years of relation our love for each other did evolve on a long and stony path. We had huge fights and big arguements but we are both in love and that's what brought us together everytime a new. My girlfriend is an ingenius person, with a high intellect, a big heart and an ability to perceive the world in a way that is so colourful, imaginary, loving, daring and unique.

I've never met a person I could talk to in life without the need to explain myself and that is proof to me that our ways of thinking and feeling have evolved a similiar way. I can talk with her for hours, going off together with her on tangents, analyzing human behaviour in a deep and honest way making the whole world be a clockwork of relations interconnections, possibilities, dependancies and it creates a big picture that she with her optimistic and idealistic attitude lends a beautiful note.

I love her for her integrity, for her ability to be honest with herself and for her high demands she sets for people close to her. She is a challenge, a sister, a lover, an idiot, a strong-willed leader, a sensible woman and a dream.

All that I said here tho, took a long time of darkness before it evolved and its only thanks to our too sharing an equal perception of the world and her ability to empathise with other persons on the most highest level of accuracy + her ability to see when she is wrong and to talk about it like its the most natural thing on earth so we can both work on it for the future that this relationship is possible at all.

I could never, in every nanofiber of my cyborg rational mind sign the contract that deals entp and infjs as handsdown the best pairing on earth, cause as I said there are a million factors who come into the equation between two human beings to make it happen at all. I find it charming and fun if someone would say it, but to actual use it as a scientific tool of psychology or behaviour to create type pairings, I think is fail.

Thank you for sharing that, honey. That is precisely as a mutual bonding should go. Good and bad, up and down. Whatever it is about them that draws you to them and them to you is what makes the relationship, not a cold theory. I'm pleased that the two of you have found your penguins. (They mate for life, you know!)

Ahh, but is it the information that is the difference, or is it the approach? You always come out with fewer casualties when you take the flank.

So noted. *scribbles in Black Book* Aim for the ass... not the head...

Which you clearly could tell it did... but that's not your place to be. Everyone's got their parts of their psyche that are prohibited to the outside world.

My dear man, this thread is Emperor in his new clothes. He tricked himself into wearing nothing and this thread has on not a single stitch. I need not place myself into his psyche. It was naked and standing in the public square. I pass such things without comment until they become bullies. I use that word in the broadest sense of the word - aggressive, agreeing with only itself, answering only to itself, seeking it's power in seeing only it's own face in another's.

I wasn't being intrusive. He was. And I won't allow it to pass without *someone* saying, "This isn't healthy." Being pushy or even openly combative when people don't agree with you? Not cool. If you want 100% agreement, go to Walmart and buy a mirror.

The creator of this thread could take a page from Entropie. The best relationships have nothing to do with constant agreement. They have more to do with the ability to disagree and continue on.

The way we deal with the things that truly make us sad is the primary one of those for an xNTP. Strangely enough, we do that for others' benefit. If you've seen an xNTP when we're truly devastated, it's not a pretty picture, one bit.

I live with an Ne-dom, and have dated many. In fact, I dreamed about one of them last night. I hate it when that happens. I've dated both ENTPs and INTPs, and I've seen them gutted, truly gutted by things. I had one break down in tears on me and never in my life had I wanted to throw myself over someone to protect them until the moment of exposure had passed. I knew what it meant to him to come to me. I knew what it meant, and I held it sacred.

It's about reorienting yourself to where you have an internal locus of self-evaluation, rather than relying on the outside world to define who you are and what you're worth.

Ah. We're no longer talking about the creator of the thread. We're speaking of you - an interesting subject.

What becomes of you when your self-evaluation becomes the primary occupation, a closed loop, if you will, when it lives only to evaluate itself, over and over? When things don't "add up" for it the way it's expected? You get threads like this - black and white, right and wrong, the guillotine blade drops on every head that doesn't fit the "description" of perfection. It costs others, not the holder of the tenet. He's a god in his own right. Nothing can strike him down from his mountain - except himself. When you start throwing *yourself* out of your own possible heaven, you have a problem.

Clouds in torment also ruin people's days. Just remember, we do have a twinge of the Fe as well. We want to be useful. Just in our own way.

I have a sturdy umbrella.

Not at all. In fact, if anything, I feel a greater understanding of the person as a human being, and that really, I'm not so different from those people after all, just in a different time, place and situation. That's not nearly as mind-blowing as say, the fact that you have not a single molecule in your body that you did 10 years ago. Now THAT'S mysterious.

I tend to look at people - and time, more importantly- as a fluid that I'm sloshing around in. What was truly good centuries ago remains good. What was truly evil centuries ago remains evil. The intentions of souls past remains like a residue on everything. I can feel it rising from the ground. When I lived in Ireland, the whole place was alive with the dead. They have a saying that the dead die but they don't depart. It's true. I felt it for myself. I feel it every day living in the South. I've had many wishes over time of wanting to relate and MEET the people that have touched me deeply. I remember feeling a true sense of loss that time and corporeal death should separate me from Seneca, the Stoic philosopher. I found him fascinating and very human, esp in his letters to his mother.

I have a favorite actor/playwright who was born when my grandfather was (1905...) and was an old man already by the time I came to being. You have no idea how grieved and disappointed I was to know that I would never know the guy. He died when I was in grade school. I have one of his biographies around somewhere, and everything about him - from the brilliance of his words, his love for the nighttime and the moon, his wild streaks, his dark looks, his wicked sense of humor, his curiosity and confessional nature, his unhealthy attachments and self-destructive bents. I loved it all.

I remember reading something truly vivid and shocking about him, and being struck not with repulsion, but with silence and consideration. I felt even more drawn to him, knowing what he truly was and what he was capable of. It only made me admire him more.

I'm still profoundly hurt that I'll never know him as I know I'm violently in love the guy.

*presents you with a 10 year old bag of your own skin cells* TADA! I know, I know. Best gift, EVER.

Yup. I'm beginning to realize I'm in one of the higher percentiles for age on this board, and I'm only in my mid-20s.

I'm 32.

He wouldn't have even mentioned it otherwise. Too personal.

He's transparent.

Perhaps *you* would not have gone there, as I suspect you would not have. My ENTP was gregarious and confessional, but strongly self-controlled. What I mean was, when I found him in a vulnerable state, it was truly different from those moments when he *allowed* himself to be that way. I'd be gentle with him until he showed signs of coming out of that state and let him be the one to shift gears. I could not only tell from the general vibe, but when he'd pick me up and start flipping me around and tormenting me with a wolf's grin on his face. Back to business.

Very true. You can't help those that do not want to be help. The world is fundamentally unjust, and some people by their experiences are born to be damned. This is... ah shit, time to go meditate. Why do I feel like I'm becoming more of a Buddhist every day?

Would you, in your own words, explain the attraction to Buddhism? What does it mean to you?

True. It's like in the movie Better off Dead: "once you've had a taste of success, you'll find it suits you quite well"... not to mention the idiots who win the lottery and are penniless five years later.

You did NOT just quote one of my favorite movies at me.

"Go that way, fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

Eh, I just need to get laid. Then I need someone I can have a good conversation with. Then, if I'm really lucky, I'll find both!

An ENTP friend of mine recently said to me "Pink, it's not about the conquest. I could have any girl I want (in this case, it's true) but I want companionship. You know? Someone I can talk to and depend on? Why is that so hard to get? "

The whole typology world. I'm pretty sure not many people really notice me in daily life. Initially they might be interested, but the interest wanes pretty quickly because I'm neither extremely outgoing nor "fun." The type that the whole [real] world loves is ENFJ.

It's a different kind of discrimination. Everyone gets it.

I'm not that out-going either. I enjoy people and staying connected, but I spend a huge chunk of my time up in my head and by myself. I need space and someone who understands that need.

Also, why do other types always come in INFJ threads and try to bash/belittle anything pertaining to INFJs? The mere mention of INFJ tends to make other types, particularly other NFs, roll their eyes and begin "They're not that special" tirades.

That's not my purpose. I'm in pursuit of addressing Samvega's vagaries. It has naught to do with INFJs or any other type, expect for the weight he himself placed on it. My full statements here have including everything I love about INFJs and if I slag them, I'm essentially slagging myself.

Show me someone who behaves like that, and I will show you someone trying to cover up their own inferiority complex. It's that simple.
A secure person will always champion the gifts of others, and help push them along the path to their goal.

When diplomacy fails, just tell them to F.O.

Plain and simple. Anyone slagging you has got an agenda. Tell them where to jump.

of the 5 entps i know 3 of them are maybe mystical. it's still very earthy and pragmatic. it's just being inspired by the mysteries of the universe, and feeling deeply connected to them. one of them likes stargazing and just sent me a link about doshas, which immediately reminds me of the enneagram.

Funny! An ENTP friend of mine is forever speaking with me on the subject of doshas and mysticism et al.

my entp friend is probably the best at immediately deactivating me and bringing out my absolute best in almost every conceivable situation. he needs no activation bc he's got all the life/social shit worked out far better than me, but what he needs help with also just so happens to be my expertise. plus it's difficult not to feel like geniuses when you communicate this well. thought is simply a communication process, and it can happen internally or externally. when it happens socially, you feel connected and part of something fucking brilliant, which is IN-spiring. Ne + Ni, when they're both supercharged and have great depth of vision, scale well, can see long-range abstraction as well, it's just a unique experience that feels very full, perfect, and complete. the Ti helps naturally absorb and focus these different layers.

i don't have the same communication quality, the overall balance and harmony with other types in quite the same way. by which i just mean that' it's not quite so natural and effortless. yet i find communication that absolutely works for me, is meaningful, informative, enjoyable, socially engaging, exciting, intellectually stimulating, inspiring, etc with other types. enfp, intj, intp, infp, enfj etc. i would like to know more entjs. and more infjs, now that i understand them.

Years ago, my ENFP sister had an INFJ that she spoke to on a daily basis. I knew in my heart that this person was in love with her. They both said how effortless it was, and while it's "real" it's also transcendental in nature. They talked for hours and looked forward to their conversations. The understanding between them was immediate. I can see why she's so attracted to INFJs. The dynamic is truly something to behold. She seems within her element with them.

 

[Synarch]

I have heard this many times from an ENTP, he says I have a calming effect, which makes me laugh as I don't feel particularly calm inside but it is something I must exude inadvertently. It comes from being patient, consistent, dealing with my emotions in-house and having mutual understanding as the goal.

I think it's that INFJ's take an active interest and seem to accept me.

I think INFJ and ENTP recoil from being openly vulnerable. So an INFJ will approach in the way we like to be approached - gently, so as not to spook. I don't know why but I do know in my bones that many of them need this just as I do.

It's just a very complimentary dynamic that goes very deep as both people gradually peel away their layers for each other. And the process, once set in motion becomes highly compelling. Falling into trust, it's a very beautiful feeling.

Falling into trust. I like that bit. People who are sensitive and afraid to be hurt often need to be soothed and approached like a skittish woodland creature.

 

[Domino]

What sort of woodland creature are we talking about here?

Beavers?

 

[Billy]

First off I need to add a caveat, I'm a single ENTP so maybe my intentions are to try and swoon one of you INFJs but what's wrong with that.

No really (well, additionally), I wrote this to get these thoughts out of my head and thought I would share because there does seem to be some confusion about how these functions work and just what it is to be an introvert or extrovert.

I will say there has to be a huge level of self awareness on the ENTP side, something I think is rare before 30 and I wouldn't trust a young ENTP myself so a word of caution to any heartbreak that may arise from pursuits of young ENTPs.

To fully explain this I need to go more in depth on MBTI itself so I'm sorry in advance if you already know this as well as for my inability to be terse. MBTI is not just 8 letters and being an INFJ for example doesn't mean only what the letters say at face value. As an example an ENFJ is not just the extroverted version of the INFJ, they are VERY different. The two middle letters are the main focus each with an extroverted or introverted possibility. So you can have Ne, Ni, Te, Ti, Fe, Fi, Se and Si in many different orders. To give an example, Se is very sensory based, an ESFP would lead with this function as their main way (or least energy) of processing the world and making choices. To stereo type, the ESFP is the classic sorority girl who will date a douche bag asshole based only on his looks. In the case of the ESFP this Se function is followed up with Fi which is about internal feelings, when used correctly this translates to a self aware person, when wrong very selfish. Also the reason the ESFP is all about "me" and what is everybody going to do for "me". What a messed up function (Se) to lead with right!

Now if you move on to a person with a dominant function of Ti such as with an INTP, you have the classic perfectionist engineer with tape on their glasses who doesn't even notice how messed up their hair is. Mainly because they lead Ti, Ne, Si and Fe leaving them with sensortardation (you and I have this as well) because we don't notice surroundings and do stupid things like walk into closed doors or forget we just brushed our teeth and brush them again, this is due to how in our own heads we are, always thinking. So again the INTP totally lacking the Se function would be oblivious to their appearance where as the ESFP would care only about their appearance.

With that said, the INFJ is Ni, Fe, Ti and lastly Se leaving them with a dominant (or no energy to use) function of Ni that generates endless possibilities in an internal world. This is the reason they can picture things clearly and in such detail when they read (almost as if they're watching a movie in their head), this is why they can be alone in their own mind for long amounts of time and never get bored. With a secondary function of Fe, this is what allows them such an amazing ability to read people and is also what makes them such an enigma, they generate all these possibilities yet follow them up with Fe, a function that's VERY people based. They feel SO amazingly deep because they can visualize what other people feel in an endless world with no boundaries or rules that they haven't given it.

To move on the ENTP is Ne, Ti, Fe and Si leaving them a dominant function of Ne, so they're as vivid as the INFJ except in the external world, their fantasies are about building things and with any and every thing they look at they wonder how it works and if they can make it better. They follow this up with Ti so they take all these possibilities and filter them with internal thinking. They can look at something very simple, imagine it 500 other ways and quickly think about what would work the best. It also affords them the luxury of being extremely quick witted and good at debates, because they can generate 50 possibilities and figure out what works best before most people can think of one. So if INFJs are the enigma having the Ni function followed by Fe (one being so internal the other being so people driven) ENTPs would be the paradox in that their first two functions are not people based and even though their dominant function is an extroverted one it's the extroverted function that doesn't need other people, leaving them the most introverted of all the extroverts. In fact with INFJs secondary function of Fe they're more extroverted than an ENTP although it doesn't look that way on the surface. Picture the INFJ as water dripping into a bucket, picture the ENTP when the bucket finally tips.

The ENTP/INFJ dynamic is so amazing because if you look at how we look at the world it's:

Ni Fe Ti Se
Ne Ti Fe Si

What that boils down to is picture a sock and somebody reaching in and pulling it inside out. ENTPs have the same depth INFJs do in a different way, ENTPs are the same as INFJs yet opposed in a way that is more reversed than opposite. The functions line up in a way that leaves both feeling totally understood yet with endless learning possibilities and total balance. They're like mental playgrounds for one another and it never gets old because both worlds are based in endless possibilities. This same dynamic holds true for the ENFP/INTJ.

Where the four dominant intuitives differer so much from other types (and why this dynamic is so interesting among the ENTP/INFJ) is our satisfaction (or mostly, lack of) in relationships due to our desire for a deep mental connection, both are looking for mind mates and both want the ideal relationship. Overall we (dominant intuitives) have the most consistent moral systems and are most likely to be disappointed if someone falls short of those moral standards. Both are very growth oriented, passionate, deep and unwilling to be in a relationship of routine that gets old and lazy in time. You do not "get", "capture", "confine", "own" or "cage" an ENTP, ENFP, INFJ or INTJ, those are the four types that pick you.

The issue with the difficulty in starting an ENTP/INFJ relationship isn't limited to one thing. First off, neither is used to being understood so there's this never ending clarification and "know what I'm saying", "if that makes sense" issue. Both are in dismay somebody else understands with such ease. However because we take different paths to the same place we'll ask things like "why'd you do that" just to understand, when explained the other person totally gets it but because we're so used to the same thing happening with a different outcome it preys on our frustration or issues of never feeling understood. Secondly the INFJ is hard to get out of their shell and the ENTP is quick to run back to theirs. The INFJ has this feeling initially that they'll never get the space they want because they see the ENTP extroverting and the ENTP swears you're not interested. The INFJ will have this constant push/pull I want it no I don't issue and have to fight to get the flood gate open. The ENTP will have this run while you still can issue and have a tough time keeping the flood gate from shutting. Both speak truly and honestly but have a tendency to try reading between the lines with the other when there's nothing there to be read. We apply our own motivations to the other persons actions which is never correct (different path to the same place) and this all takes some excellent and very open communication. These issues don't last long however so at least that's a plus. We're both a type that never really lets people in and we're both amazing at reading people so we're faced with an issue of holy shit this is going to hurt if it doesn't work so both need to want love more than the fear of having it. We're both so whole alone but together there's an overlapping of abilities that gives the other a peephole (I read that four times and kept thinking there was a missing p) into a whole different world. I can tell you right off the bat, if I (as an ENTP) had internal issues I was hiding I wouldn't even consider pursuing an INFJ until I had my head on right because I know it would be picked up on instantly.

There two things I would like to add while I'm thinking about them. I've compared the ENTP and INFJ to opposite sides of the same coin saying we're exactly the same yet totally different.

I would say the ENTP and INFJ are both the oddity of the MBTI world on the introverted and extroverted side. We don't really fit in anyplace and are the two types that most often feel quirky, misunderstood and like there is no way anybody will every accept much less understand and love how different we are.

Anyway, what dawned on me is the false low score we often get on our E function. My dominant Ne function is very high yet I will sometimes only score 54% E and on occasion I will test as INTP. This is because depending on the test I will answer all questions like "you feel comfortable in a crowd" with a yes (standard extrovert answer) yet also answer all questions like "you require a lot of alone time" with a yes, standard introvert answer. This conflict is due to leading Ne, an extroverted function that doesn't need people at all.

By contrast and backing up everything else I've said. INFJs often falsely test as INFPs, because while the ENTP is the most introverted extrovert the INFJ is the least orderly J. With MBTI these are the only two anomalies like this I'm aware of.

I have never probed enough on this topic to explain why this is the case with INFJs and that J function but I do find it interesting and in line with everything else I've said.

Also, ENTPs are the slowest to mature and the INFJ is of course the quickest so I think a 5 to 10 year age difference with the ENTP being older is ideal if not essential. The downside for the INFJ maturing so quickly is because you already feel so different and alone (the ENTP does as well but being the extrovert with an over sized ego they haven't noticed it yet and is enjoying still thinking they're better than everybody else) you also don't feel like you fit in with other people your age so by the time the ENTP has matured the INFJ is feeling jaded, frustrated and starting to let go of that ideal picture of love they've always had and can find in the ENTP.

Damn this was long, sorry, only a saint or INFJ (same thing I guess less the dark humor) would read all of this.

I read halfway through then it gone long winded... I don't know if its just me, but I haven't had good experiences with too many ENTPs then again I haven't met any female ones so maybe that's why. I think I would find thier NT'ness off-putting though I *THINK*... Great for friendship and such but not so much for a gf, but again I haven't ever been with one to my knowledge, so I really shouldn't say that with any certainty. A lot of differnt INFJs told me they really like NT's so... I guess I should keep looking.

 

[Synarch]

What sort of woodland creature are we talking about here?

Beavers?

Naked molerats.

 

[Domino]

Naked molerats.

Sexy. (And freakishly long-lived.)

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Even when I'm in INFJ mode, I still feel P's drive me crazy because they don't make a definitive decision. I've dated perceivers, and their lack of punctuality drove me absolutely bonkers. I think to myself "there's a thing called a clock, follow it!" I like guys that are independently minded and are punctual.

 

[Kasper]

I think to myself "there's a thing called a clock, follow it!"

Time is so irrelevant, life is about enjoying the experiences and doesn't give a rats about punctuality

 

[Domino]

Time is so irrelevant, life is about enjoying the experiences and doesn't give a rats about punctuality

I'd hit that.

 

[Samvega]

I love the smell of frantic "my way or the highway" verbose propaganda in the morning. You ruffle their feathers and the talons come out.

The real world doesn't exist. Ne has decreed it. Nothing else works except ENTP/INFJ. Please be sure to explain that to all the INFJs I know who have happily found love with ISTPs, ENFPs, INFPs, ISFPs, ESTPs, etc because they're truly mistaken little sheep and should be gently guided back onto the straight and narrow-minded. INFJs are strong-willed and can think for themselves. Happiness can come in any form for them. Stop trying to ram it down their throats.

Only one form of happiness is surely a monochrome world. Good luck with that.

As to my post count -- I've been mortally ill for some time, and have not been strong enough to go out much. That's why I'm pathetic.

Oh sure, totally agree, anybody can get along, all that can happen will, including the day an ESTP takes care of an INFJs emotional needs in a way that the INFJ feels totally safe and understood. Or the day an INFP and INFJ can offer each other total balance. Some things however need to be taken for granted for the world to spin, I know if I knock a glass off a table gravity will cause it to fall and so on. I also know if you take the definition of an INFJ and ENTP they would be better suited for each other than either with any other type. Sprinkle in an ENTP with their guard up and an INFJ that's bitter from taking care of everybody else for so long they've failed to care for their own emotional health and sure things change, ideal partners change, all changes. My post however wasn't meant to rule out any and all other things, simple to point out many of the inaccuracies I see people saying about how an ENTP is sooo extroverted and so on.

Life is a mortally ill condition, for some shorter than others. I'm not entirely sure why it is you're sharing that with me here however if you would like to (or have) started a post about this on typec I would be happy to respond in a thread where it can be given the attention and compassion it deserves.

Dude, below the belt, and reeking of self-righteousness. I admire your passion and the fact that you obviously feel strongly about this, but curb the lashing out to those that happen to disagree, will ya, especially if you pretty much asked for that reaction with your original post.

Dom, how is it you like these guys, seriously?

Below the belt? Hey CaptianChick, you have a pathetically high post count because 70% of your responses are 15 words or less. Was that below the belt, taking a playful poke at CaptianChick?

I found some humor is being told I wouldn't like what somebody had to say followed with them not saying it. I laughed, I said wow, there's a high post count, now I know why.

What have you interpreted incorrectly and more so why?

You do bring so much wonderful-ness to the boards, and you're most definitely not pathetic (but that shouldn't really need to be clarified ). My favorite Ni-partner-in-crime!!

Well, this endorsement is enough for me. Though I must say I'm still in dismay over the reason we're having to clarify that a pathetically high post count (said in jest due to the brevity of the post) and being a pathetic human being aren't the same thing. I take pathetically long showers, there has never been a moment in my life I thought that made me pathetic.

On this board, INFJs are treated like the Holy Grail, like angels who radiate constant good will and sunshine, who cough up solid gold hairballs.

I don't know what to say about this, I know a fair number of INFJs and they're littered with flaws! No more and no less than any other type but all the same they're full of flaws. For me, they're the easiest flaws to handle and deal with but that holds true for the other dominant intuitives as well. The further you go from that the harder time I have dealing with the flaws. I sadly feel the need to offer a disclaimer here though I'm going to hope you're catching on that I'm speaking of rules not exceptions as nothing could be taken as a give in otherwise.



I think the last 25 posts highlight something pretty well. Most of you just don't get how an ENTP works and end up taking/reading them incorrectly. The most common question I'm asked is "are you serious", the most common statement is "I can't tell when you're joking", my only reply is "I'm always joking". If you don't ask for clarification you really can't blame the other person for not understanding what was said. At any point prior to responding to your interpretation of my statement you could have asked what it was I was saying.

I wouldn't much like me either if I applied your interpretations to my actions though if you'd read the OP I believe already mentioned the issues doing this can cause, funny how it happened in a thread a started to help avoid that very issue.

 

[cascadeco]

Oh sure, totally agree, anybody can get along, all that can happen will, including the day an ESTP takes care of an INFJs emotional needs in a way that the INFJ feels totally safe and understood. Or the day an INFP and INFJ can offer each other total balance. Some things however need to be taken for granted for the world to spin, I know if I knock a glass off a table gravity will cause it to fall and so on. I also know if you take the definition of an INFJ and ENTP they would be better suited for each other than either with any other type. Sprinkle in an ENTP with their guard up and an INFJ that's bitter from taking care of everybody else for so long they've failed to care for their own emotional health and sure things change, ideal partners change, all changes. My post however wasn't meant to rule out any and all other things, simple to point out many of the inaccuracies I see people saying about how an ENTP is sooo extroverted and so on.

I don't know what to say about this, I know a fair number of INFJs and they're littered with flaws! No more and no less than any other type but all the same they're full of flaws. For me, they're the easiest flaws to handle and deal with but that holds true for the other dominant intuitives as well. The further you go from that the harder time I have dealing with the flaws. I sadly feel the need to offer a disclaimer here though I'm going to hope you're catching on that I'm speaking of rules not exceptions as nothing could be taken as a give in otherwise.

Makes sense to me. (Although I'd feel the need to clarify 'flaws' in this sense are not 'flaws' in the objective sense, but rather my own subjective viewpoint...and therefore I don't really view them as flaws, rather as traits I just don't think line up ideally with mine, in a mutually beneficial way, or traits I simply get way too annoyed with. And of course that's my OWN definition of what I think's best. So, yeah, things would go together more effortlessly, and there'd be more common ground to start with, with an ENTP or INTJ, than with an ISTJ or INFP. Fewer bridges to cross with the former. Really, we're saying the same thing, just different words. )

 

[Samvega]

Makes sense to me. (Although I'd feel the need to clarify 'flaws' in this sense are not 'flaws' in the objective sense, but rather my own subjective viewpoint...and therefore I don't really view them as flaws, rather as traits I just don't think line up ideally with mine, in a mutually beneficial way, or traits I simply get way too annoyed with. And of course that's my OWN definition of what I think's best. So, yeah, things would go together more effortlessly, and there'd be more common ground to start with, with an ENTP or INTJ, than with an ISTJ or INFP. Fewer bridges to cross with the former. Really, we're saying the same thing, just different words. )

And to reiterate again because people seem to be missing much of what I already said.

For me it comes down to energy expenditure, balance and flaws. I don't want the opposite I want contrast and I don't want the same I want balance. I want somebody that can keep me in check in a way that I won't resent.

I've found with types that are not dominant intuitives I spend a lot of energy trying to get them to understand, with other ENTPs I spend zero energy on this but find zero balance.

As for flaws, I agree with this Cascadeco chick, if somebody points out a flaw of mine I run it through the "known flaws database", if it's not recognized I enter it, assess it and address it accordingly. If it's a know flaw that I know is attached to many positives I assess whether or not I can lessen it further without it taking a toll negatively. If I think they're crazy I ask a friend or two to figure out if it's in a blind spot or I'm in denial.

At no point in there do I take it personal, if I were to do that I would never be able to learn from anything negative about me.

 

[cascadeco]

For me it comes down to energy expenditure, balance and flaws. I don't want the opposite I want contrast and I don't want the same I want balance. I want somebody that can keep me in check in a way that I won't resent.

I view it in very much the same way.

I've found with types that are not dominant intuitives I spend a lot of energy trying to get them to understand, with other ENTPs I spend zero energy on this but find zero balance.

Totally relate, I've mentioned it before on the forums...my friendships with INFJ's are effortless, and really deep, and we 'get' each other without any need for elaborate explanation (usually instead we're finishing each others' sentences/thoughts ), because we all think about the same stuff anyway and approach things pretty much the same ...but yeah, a romance with an INFJ is just not something I want because it wouldn't provide the balance I desire.

I feel the same sort of dynamic without a pressing need for energy expenditure or huge amounts of confusion/questioning/simply-not-relating-easily with ENxP's, xNTJ's, ENFJ's, and to a lesser extent with INTP's. But I definitely have the most chemistry with dom-Ne's, and they tend to be the ones who have the traits/balance that I'm wanting in a relationship.

 

[Domino]

Life is a mortally ill condition, for some shorter than others. I'm not entirely sure why it is you're sharing that with me here however if you would like to (or have) started a post about this on typec I would be happy to respond in a thread where it can be given the attention and compassion it deserves.

I post here frequently because I'm ill. Got it?

Below the belt? Hey CaptianChick, you have a pathetically high post count because 70% of your responses are 15 words or less. Was that below the belt, taking a playful poke at CaptianChick?

Playful? Wow. If what you leveled at me was "playful", I'd never want to see you going for the throat.

I found some humor is being told I wouldn't like what somebody had to say followed with them not saying it. I laughed, I said wow, there's a high post count, now I know why.

This statement makes no sense at all.

What have you interpreted incorrectly and more so why?

Walks like a duck. Quacks like a duck. Climb out of the pond and finish the sentence.

You're evasions don't work on me. You're not deep just because you're trying to confuse people. Further more, I call BS on that Buddhist av. Being at one with the Tao does not excite petty outbursts that you attempt to cover up with "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! I was just KIDDING... come on!"... I heard that in 7th grade. It doesn't work on adults.

Well, this endorsement is enough for me. Though I must say I'm still in dismay over the reason we're having to clarify that a pathetically high post count (said in jest due to the brevity of the post) and being a pathetic human being aren't the same thing. I take pathetically long showers, there has never been a moment in my life I thought that made me pathetic.

Again. Nice try to qualify an untoward statement.

...I'm going to hope you're catching on that I'm speaking of rules not exceptions as nothing could be taken as a give in otherwise.

I think the last 25 posts highlight something pretty well. Most of you just don't get how an ENTP works and end up taking/reading them incorrectly. The most common question I'm asked is "are you serious", the most common statement is "I can't tell when you're joking", my only reply is "I'm always joking". If you don't ask for clarification you really can't blame the other person for not understanding what was said. At any point prior to responding to your interpretation of my statement you could have asked what it was I was saying.

I wouldn't much like me either if I applied your interpretations to my actions though if you'd read the OP I believe already mentioned the issues doing this can cause, funny how it happened in a thread a started to help avoid that very issue.

 

[Samvega]

I post here frequently because I'm ill. Got it?

I didn't ask for an explanation of your post count so why do you keep telling me this?

I gave you the context of my statement, if your desire to be right is so strong you would rather think I'm backpedaling than apply the context it was written and see where you may have misinterpreted it there is little else I can say. I'm not going to spend my energy defending a statement you're only able to read one way. I would ask for clarification prior to making an assumption. I may have struck a nerve, you may have responded emotionally, I don't know and in the end it was your responsibility to ask me what I meant not mine to be sure I phrased it in a way that ruled out every other possible interpretation.

If you feel the desire to discuss this further I will out of respect for your feelings and because I wouldn't want anything I said to be taken incorrectly, also, because in my heart I wouldn't want you thinking I thought you were pathetic or I was judging you for how you enjoyed spending your time. Clearly more than one person read my statement wrong so I don't mind clarifying but I've done that and if you're still not satisfied we can talk more about this via PM.

PS Not cool poking at peoples religious views.

 

[EricHanson]

Is it just me or does anyone else notice the irony that ENTP and INFJ no get along?

 

[Domino]

For the sake of someone I care about very much on this board, I will cease this exchange. It's my decision.

I'm out.

 

[Synarch]

Is it just me or does anyone else notice the irony that ENTP and INFJ no get along?

Domino is ENFJ. IME, insensitive ENTP's and sensitive ENFJ's can clash sometimes. They seem to have trouble seeing the problem the other person sees as something rather glaring.

 

[ms-mngrl]

Hee hee...I read the whole thing and wanted to keep on reading, so, yep, I am INFJ! I have to say very interesting ideas here. I have never read/heard that the INFJ is the least orderly of the J's and am very curious about this. Any ideas why?

 

[simulatedworld]

Hee hee...I read the whole thing and wanted to keep on reading, so, yep, I am INFJ! I have to say very interesting ideas here. I have never read/heard that the INFJ is the least orderly of the J's and am very curious about this. Any ideas why?

The organizational function (Fe in this case) is secondary, which is true of all IxxJ types.

And Ni is less conducive to structured organization than Si.

And Fe is less conducive to structured organization than Te.

So of the four IxxJ types:
ISTJ (Si+Te)
ISFJ (Si+Fe)
INTJ (Ni+Te)
INFJ (Ni+Fe),

INFJs have the two functions that do the least overt organizing, with the organizational one in second priority.