Haha...I had the most interesting debate with my INFJ friend about intentions the other night. My point of view was that intentions should be all that matter, if they know I don't mean harm by something, people shouldn't be offended. I consider intention and actions far more heavily than words...if I think someone is purposely being mean, I'll get annoyed at them even if they're saying something innocuous...and I usually won't be fazed by the most hurtful thing said in jest/without malice. I respond to the tone more than to the words (although I think this applies more with close friends who I can read, rather than acquaintances).
His counterpoint was in essence that I need to consider how other people are thinking, and that most people are offended by illogical things, and I just have to deal with that. It's more accurate to try to predict/consider how the other person might react than to 'put myself in their shoes' because most people just don't think like me, apparently. I'm supposed to flex around other people instead of getting mad at them for not flexing around me. Ie try to be sensitive instead of calling everyone else oversensitive. Which makes sense, I guess, to a degree.
This was after me offending another friend by saying something I considered to be an objective, neutral statement, not even thinking about the possibility of it offending, while she considered it an attack/rejection of her carefully-laid plans. I still don't really get it....
(/tangent)