[INFP] In praise of INFP's

[runvardh]

*sigh* to you substitute

 

[substitute]

*sigh* to you substitute

Sheesh, push the boat out there why don't you?

Heheh, some people. Honestly.

 

[Sandy]

I'm... I'm... shocked

No, seriously. This is shocking to hear.

This past year, I went to a very informative 8-hour MBTI course at work, and at the end of the session, the instructor asked everyone who they thought MOST people wanted to be. Well, of course, most everyone stated ESTJ. (I work in a professional field of mostly engineers and construction supervisors).

She stated that statistically, that was correct. Most people enjoy the ESTJ type the most. She also stated that the least liked type was the INFP!!! I was crestfallen; I wanted to sink down my seat, fall onto the floor, and crawl out of the side door. I was the ONLY INFP there -- out of about 25+.

I can understand why someone would want to be an ESTJ, but I never dreamed that nobody would want to be an INFP. From that point on, I had such a painful awareness of my sense of self... I felt like I was back in high school (unsure, lost, unpopular, weird, basically the quiet girl sitting in the corner).

I'm better now, thankfully... I know I am unique, and I have my strengths and I accept my weaknesses. Most people respond to me very well; my INTP boyfriend affirms and encourages me every day. It's sad, but I am still trying my best to not let the instructor's words get to me.

 

[prplchknz]

Why? ESTJ sounds like a terrible thing to be.

 

[Sandy]

Why? ESTJ sounds like a terrible thing to be.

I don't know why... my guess is that many are successful. *shrugging shoulders*

 

[Mempy]

From that point on, I had such a painful awareness of my sense of self... I felt like I was back in high school (unsure, lost, unpopular, weird, basically the quiet girl sitting in the corner).

Awww. I was that way for most of high school too. Recently I've been experiencing painful feelings of deficiency and hopelessness, so reading this just makes me go, "Awww! That's awful!" I understand. LOL, I may have wanted to crawl out of the room too.

Thank you, Substitute! Wow! This is a remarkably positive thread! Awww, I love it, I love it. Judging by your posts in other threads and by your signature, I'd LOVE you, Sub. (I'm thinking specifically of your insightful posts in a thread about the nature of Ne.)

I like how ENXPs gush. They're so exciteable and cute. And I think they just seem so sincere. I have an ENFP friend online whose compliments are always the most flattering and endearing of all.

Anyway, this thread rocks. Thanks to Sub for starting it!

Here's to all you other MBTI types, as good as you are
Here's to INFPs, as bad as we are
As good as you are and as bad as we are
You'll never be as good as we are!

I just like that saying.

 

[substitute]

It's sad, but I am still trying my best to not let the instructor's words get to me.

I relate to that. Years ago, when I was a teenager (also geeky and unpopular), someone in my class used to pick on me and bully me by relentlessly teasing me about my height. It was only in my early twenties that it began to dawn on me that, in reality, being tall is usually considered a good thing!! Until then I used to stoop to try and blend in, but since then I've stood upright.

It's quite awful really, how some people will totally gaslight you into thinking all that's good about you is actually what makes people hate you. I've no doubt that people who put a high premium on being normal would want to be (or already are) ESxJ, likewise those who put a high value on being materially successful by the world's standards.

But here in the world of wondrous misfits, qualities like sincerity, modesty, integrity and kindness are valued a lot more, and who better than INFP for those?

Then again, even in the cruel world out there - the world of 'normal' people - when people are done being successful and normal and all the rest of it; when they come home after a horrible day in the office; when they're feeling down and demotivated, it's not someone to kick some sense into them that they want - it's the gentle touch of the INFP, without whom their lives would, I expect, be pretty meaningless.

Thank you, Substitute! Wow! This is a remarkably positive thread! Awww, I love it, I love it. Judging by your posts in other threads and by your signature, I'd LOVE you, Sub. (I'm thinking specifically of your insightful posts in a thread about the nature of Ne.)

NP And.... I always worry that I'm too loud and obnoxious... and yet can't help being it, haha! Especially around you INFP's, I always worry about you thinking I'm horribly egotistical! Also, 'insightful' isn't something I get called often, seeing as how I don't usually share my insights with others, being used to having them brushed aside as crazy or just ignored, due to incomprehension lol
Most of the time I'm just bantering. So thank you!

 

[hotmale]

I relate to that. Years ago, when I was a teenager (also geeky and unpopular), someone in my class used to pick on me and bully me by relentlessly teasing me about my height. It was only in my early twenties that it began to dawn on me that, in reality, being tall is usually considered a good thing!! Until then I used to stoop to try and blend in, but since then I've stood upright.

It's quite awful really, how some people will totally gaslight you into thinking all that's good about you is actually what makes people hate you. I've no doubt that people who put a high premium on being normal would want to be (or already are) ESxJ, likewise those who put a high value on being materially successful by the world's standards.

But here in the world of wondrous misfits, qualities like sincerity, modesty, integrity and kindness are valued a lot more, and who better than INFP for those?

Then again, even in the cruel world out there - the world of 'normal' people - when people are done being successful and normal and all the rest of it; when they come home after a horrible day in the office; when they're feeling down and demotivated, it's not someone to kick some sense into them that they want - it's the gentle touch of the INFP, without whom their lives would, I expect, be pretty meaningless.



NP And.... I always worry that I'm too loud and obnoxious... and yet can't help being it, haha! Especially around you INFP's, I always worry about you thinking I'm horribly egotistical! Also, 'insightful' isn't something I get called often, seeing as how I don't usually share my insights with others, being used to having them brushed aside as crazy or just ignored, due to incomprehension lol
Most of the time I'm just bantering. So thank you!

Aside from popularity contests, I've noticed that some people mistakenly think they are INFPs if they have had life threatening accidents and surgeries. Very interesting. In fact, there was one woman in my work group - probably an ESFJ who thought she was an INFP!

Oh, did I have a good laugh about that. Apparently, she had rigorous brain surgery when she was a teen- which made her feel like an outcast- most outcasts identify with the INFP/ INFJ personality type for some reason. I think it's related to how the tests are worded inaccurately on some free online tests.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

She stated that statistically, that was correct. Most people enjoy the ESTJ type the most. She also stated that the least liked type was the INFP!!! I was crestfallen; I wanted to sink down my seat, fall onto the floor, and crawl out of the side door. I was the ONLY INFP there -- out of about 25+.

American culture is set up so that the ESTJ values are most like the values of society in general. In truth I think that INF's make for the best friends, and anyone who thinks differently is truely missing out on something wonderful. ESTJ's are nice when it's time to get the work done, but for friendship INF's cannot be beat.

 

[Xander]

INFPs are cool. It's just a damn shame when their shadow turns up and ruins all that good work.

I think that INFPs need balance more than most types or their shadow will rule their lives in very not nice ways. Also motivation appears to be as much a bane to the INFP as it is to the INTP. For that alone I tend to get on well with them. I just don't feel comfy when the Sgt Maj gets wheeled out!

 

[runvardh]

Xander, that Sgt Maj has saved my bacon on various occations and is 60% responsable for my successes in life.

 

[scantilyclad]

No, seriously. This is shocking to hear.

This past year, I went to a very informative 8-hour MBTI course at work, and at the end of the session, the instructor asked everyone who they thought MOST people wanted to be. Well, of course, most everyone stated ESTJ. (I work in a professional field of mostly engineers and construction supervisors).

She stated that statistically, that was correct. Most people enjoy the ESTJ type the most. She also stated that the least liked type was the INFP!!! I was crestfallen; I wanted to sink down my seat, fall onto the floor, and crawl out of the side door. I was the ONLY INFP there -- out of about 25+.

I can understand why someone would want to be an ESTJ, but I never dreamed that nobody would want to be an INFP. From that point on, I had such a painful awareness of my sense of self... I felt like I was back in high school (unsure, lost, unpopular, weird, basically the quiet girl sitting in the corner).

I'm better now, thankfully... I know I am unique, and I have my strengths and I accept my weaknesses. Most people respond to me very well; my INTP boyfriend affirms and encourages me every day. It's sad, but I am still trying my best to not let the instructor's words get to me.

aw that made me sad and made me feel sad for you in that situation. I would have felt very defeated after something like that. I used to work at a company that was mostly ESTJ types or ISTJ types and i always felt so awkward and like they were always trying to change me, especially the ESTJ type. I would always sit alone at lunch, because i was happy that way, but they thought it was just completely unusual for someone to WANT to sit alone at lunch, so a bunch of them started sitting with me and trying to get me to carry on conversation with them which i would indeed try to do, although i have no idea what to say to people that i don't know and don't know how to relate to. I always felt like they were discouraging me when i did speak and most of the things we discussed usually turned into some sort of an argument, because one of them would say something that offended me or went against something i valued. I couldn't stand most of them, but for some reason they seemed to like me, and sat with me for almost a whole year at lunch. A lot of them tried to date me even, which baffled me, because i wasn't interested in dating someone that i didn't relate to and would constantly have to argue to get them to understand my opinions. I guess i got a little off topic there, but anyway it's still sad to hear that people would less want to be INFPs. We are good, generally selfless people who care about people and values on a totally different level than others, i think that should be respected and i'm glad a few people here enjoy our company.

 

[hotmale]

INFPs are cool.

They're great folk, I agree.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Few of my friends have actually taken the test, but based on what I can glean from him one of my closer friends is an INFP. I don't know where I'd be without the big brother I never had! He has this amazing talent of getting anyone to admit what's bugging them no matter how hard they try to hide it (except for his girlfriend, unfortunately! XD)

But he is definitely an amazing person. Yay INFPs!!!

 

[GZA]

Awww. I was that way for most of high school too. Recently I've been experiencing painful feelings of deficiency and hopelessness, so reading this just makes me go, "Awww! That's awful!" I understand. LOL, I may have wanted to crawl out of the room too.

Thank you, Substitute! Wow! This is a remarkably positive thread! Awww, I love it, I love it. Judging by your posts in other threads and by your signature, I'd LOVE you, Sub. (I'm thinking specifically of your insightful posts in a thread about the nature of Ne.)

I like how ENXPs gush. They're so exciteable and cute. And I think they just seem so sincere. I have an ENFP friend online whose compliments are always the most flattering and endearing of all.

Anyway, this thread rocks. Thanks to Sub for starting it!

Here's to all you other MBTI types, as good as you are
Here's to INFPs, as bad as we are
As good as you are and as bad as we are
You'll never be as good as we are!

I just like that saying.

I find it interesting that you two, and many other INFP's, had a very difficult time fitting in or making friends in high school. I mean, I'm in high school now and I definitely fit the "lost, unsure, weird" and more than enough of the quiet and sitting in the back part (although I'm not entirely asocial, even though I would say I'm extremely introverted (I generally score between 85-95% I on the Jung test), but I'm not really unpopular and I don't feel like I'm excluded by my peers. I talk, but I feel drained if I do to much, and I like small groups and I neevr feel lonely by myself). Despite those qualities, people still seem to really like me, and I don't have a lot of trouble making friends (despite this, I still have very few close friends, if any that are truely close at all). For example, today a friend of mine burst out laughing mid-way through one of my rants on how I laugh really hard sometimes at things that arn't actually very funny, and he said that he loves me and that if I was gone from his life, he would feel as if someone had taken away his soul, ahahaha. It seems people enjoy my strangeness, and arn't aware of the lost/unsure part inside me (and I don't try to give the impression I'm "found" and "sure" ), and people enjoy my sense of humour sometimes too. I feel a lot more lost and unsure and all that good stuff from other things, like routine work and school... all the structure. I'm not saying I'm the most popular guy in the world (cause I'm not), and I'm not saying everyone loves me (because some people just assume I'm insane/on drugs, which I'm not), but I've been able to make friends fairly well. I still feel very different from other people, and I sometimes wonder why the hell anyone would talk to me. I guess I feel like an outcast in my mind, but I know I'm not one on the outside. I find it interesting that other people of my type have not had similar experiences.

Anyone know how the "making friends" part works for different types.

Oh, and let me add that I'm truely heartbroken to hear about your experiences. I sometimes see kids in the stairwell sitting by themselves where no one can see them and it really eats me up. I want to talk to them and get to know them, but I don't know what I'd say...

 

[erm]

I'm in high school now and I definitely fit the "lost, unsure, weird" and more than enough of the quiet and sitting in the back part (although I'm not entirely asocial, even though I would say I'm extremely introverted (I generally score between 85-95% I on the Jung test), but I'm not really unpopular and I don't feel like I'm excluded by my peers. I talk, but I feel drained if I do to much, and I like small groups and I neevr feel lonely by myself). Despite those qualities, people still seem to really like me, and I don't have a lot of trouble making friends (despite this, I still have very few close friends, if any that are truely close at all). For example, today a friend of mine burst out laughing mid-way through one of my rants on how I laugh really hard sometimes at things that arn't actually very funny, and he said that he loves me and that if I was gone from his life, he would feel as if someone had taken away his soul, ahahaha. It seems people enjoy my strangeness, and arn't aware of the lost/unsure part inside me (and I don't try to give the impression I'm "found" and "sure" ), and people enjoy my sense of humour sometimes too. I feel a lot more lost and unsure and all that good stuff from other things, like routine work and school... all the structure. I'm not saying I'm the most popular guy in the world (cause I'm not), and I'm not saying everyone loves me (because some people just assume I'm insane/on drugs, which I'm not), but I've been able to make friends fairly well. I still feel very different from other people, and I sometimes wonder why the hell anyone would talk to me. I guess I feel like an outcast in my mind, but I know I'm not one on the outside. I find it interesting that other people of my type have not had similar experiences.

I feel dirty for reading this thread, and even worse for posting in it, but WOW. I related to every single word you said.

I would type my examples of what you described, but then I might as well copy and paste it, then edit the compliment in the middle to fit what's been said to me.

 

[GZA]

I feel dirty for reading this thread, and even worse for posting in it, but WOW. I related to every single word you said.

I would type my examples of what you described, but then I might as well copy and paste it, then edit the compliment in the middle to fit what's been said to me.

Wow, thats amazing... small world, eh ?

Wolfmaiden, how does your friend do that... I wish I could...

 

[substitute]

I find it interesting that you two, and many other INFP's, had a very difficult time fitting in or making friends in high school. I mean, I'm in high school now and I definitely fit the "lost, unsure, weird" and more than enough of the quiet and sitting in the back part (although I'm not entirely asocial, even though I would say I'm extremely introverted (I generally score between 85-95% I on the Jung test), but I was not really unpopular and I don't feel like I'm excluded by my peers. I talk, but I feel drained like I'm getting on everyone's nerves if I do to much at all, and I like small groups and I neevr feel lonely by myself). Despite those qualities, people still don't seem to really like me, and I don't have a lot of trouble making close friends (despite this, I still have very few close friends, if any that are truely close at all).

Okay, fixed so far...

For example, today a friend of mine burst out laughing mid-way through one of my rants on how I laugh really hard sometimes at things that arn't actually very funny, can make being mean and angry so funny and cool and he said that he loves me and that if I was gone from his life, he would feel as if someone had taken away his soul, ahahaha.

Uhuh...

It seems people enjoy my strangeness, and arn't aware of the lost/unsure part inside me (and I don't try to give the impression I'm "found" and "sure" ), and people enjoy my sense of humour sometimes too. I feel a lot more lost and unsure and all that good stuff from other things, like routine work and school... all the structure. I'm not saying I'm the most popular guy in the world (cause I'm not), and I'm not saying everyone loves me (because some people just assume I'm insane/on drugs, which I'm not), but I've been able to make friends fairly well. I still feel very different from other people, and I sometimes wonder why the hell anyone would talk to me. I guess I feel like an outcast in my mind, but I know I'm not one on the outside. I find it interesting that wonder if other people of my type have not had similar experiences.

And then...

Oh, and let me add that I'm truely heartbroken to hear about your experiences. I sometimes see kids in the stairwell sitting by themselves where no one can see them and it really eats me up. I want to talk to them and get to know them, but I don't know what I'd say... so I do, even though I know they probably think I'm an idiot

So, you're not that different... and other people suffer similar things, of other types

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Wow, thats amazing... small world, eh ?

Wolfmaiden, how does your friend do that... I wish I could...

I wish I knew! I'm usually good enough at getting people to talk.. but with Rob it's like he already knows! You just can't hide anything from him. Probably just that developed NP doing it's awesome perception thing. XD

 

[SolitaryWalker]

aw that made me sad and made me feel sad for you in that situation. I would have felt very defeated after something like that. I used to work at a company that was mostly ESTJ types or ISTJ types and i always felt so awkward and like they were always trying to change me, especially the ESTJ type. I would always sit alone at lunch, because i was happy that way, but they thought it was just completely unusual for someone to WANT to sit alone at lunch, so a bunch of them started sitting with me and trying to get me to carry on conversation with them which i would indeed try to do, although i have no idea what to say to people that i don't know and don't know how to relate to. I always felt like they were discouraging me when i did speak and most of the things we discussed usually turned into some sort of an argument, because one of them would say something that offended me or went against something i valued. I couldn't stand most of them, but for some reason they seemed to like me, and sat with me for almost a whole year at lunch. A lot of them tried to date me even, which baffled me, because i wasn't interested in dating someone that i didn't relate to and would constantly have to argue to get them to understand my opinions. I guess i got a little off topic there, but anyway it's still sad to hear that people would less want to be INFPs. We are good, generally selfless people who care about people and values on a totally different level than others, i think that should be respected and i'm glad a few people here enjoy our company.

The reason why so many people say they want to be ESTJs is because society approves of such a personality type. Simply because of their radical collectivist mindset. This does not in any way mean that they are any more desirable.

We are good, generally selfless people who care about people and values on a totally different level than others, i think that should be respected and i'm glad a few people here enjoy our company.

Based on my theorizing and personal experiences, I could not agree more.

I guess i got a little off topic there, but anyway it's still sad to hear that people would less want to be INFPs.

Truly, if I could be any other type than my own, it would be the INFP. As they were the only ones I didn't have a difficult time appreciating.